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I feel so pethatic and desperate


makeupgrl99
How to leave an abusive relationshi...
How to leave an abusive relationship and why it's so hard

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My bf and I of five years broke up.

 

We haven't seen eachother for about a week, but officially broke up yesterday. He is the one that wanted to break up because he feels like we don't get along. We only had one huge fight last week in the past month or so! I'm so heartbroken that I can't function. I want to call him right now and beg him to not do this. I'm going insane and I feel so desperate to just be with him. He broke up with me last year for couple months and then I took him back. I don't know why he keeps doing this, everytime we have a huge fight he wants to break up and it devastates me. I love him so much and I don't want to break up.

 

I haven't eaten since yesterday and tonight because I'm home alone (noone is around and friends can't go out) I feel like I'm going insane. I feel so lonely and it's getting to me. I can't stop crying and my whole body aches. I know everyone will say that NC is the best approach and that over time I will be better but last year when this happened, during those two months I was not well at all. I don't know what it is about him but I think because he is such a huge part of my life that I don't feel complete without him. I feel so broken and I don't know what to do.

 

I'm 27 and I don't feel like I have alot of time to start a family and such with someone new...I want to do it with my ex bf.

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I guess I sort of know how you feel. Was dumped monday (4.5 year relationship), didn't eat for 24 hours, did some crying, and generally feeling hurt. I don't have any advice for you but maybe it means something that someone else is going through what you are? I'm not sure what else to say but I do hope things work out for you.

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Thank you Bismark776, that is very sweet and same to you! It's at times like this I really wish I had more friends.

 

Now thats something I really really understand. I only have a few friends who are local, most of them moved to other cities in pursuit of jobs and contact has dimmed as a result. I guess I never realized it but over the 4.5 years she became my entire support system and so now I'm left, in this state, and with almost no one there to catch me. Whats helping for me, though, is trying to rebuild the support system that atrophied during the relationship. I've been contacting all kinds of people that I don't talk to much anymore and just chatting. I find that fights off the loneliness, if only for a little while.

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I don't get it. Your boyfriend of five years? Three years ago you posted this about meeting guys and being almost 28. And now you're 27?

 

 

uhhuh, what does that threat have to do with the one I just made?

I post my friends issues here as well (with their permission) so really, if you have nothing nice or helpful to say then don't say anything at all.

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Now thats something I really really understand. I only have a few friends who are local, most of them moved to other cities in pursuit of jobs and contact has dimmed as a result. I guess I never realized it but over the 4.5 years she became my entire support system and so now I'm left, in this state, and with almost no one there to catch me. Whats helping for me, though, is trying to rebuild the support system that atrophied during the relationship. I've been contacting all kinds of people that I don't talk to much anymore and just chatting. I find that fights off the loneliness, if only for a little while.

 

Same here, I've always chose spending time with my bf then with my friends and now its biting me in the butt.

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Thank you. Speaking from past experiences with him though, I feel like the longer we go without speaking, the harder it is for me to trust him. Like last summer when we broke up it took me up to now for him to start earning my trust back. I think a break weakens the relationship and starts playing tricks on you which in turn make the relationship in worse condition later.

I just wish he'd realize that he is not doing the relationship any good...but I guess he doesn't care because he is the one that doesn't want to be in it anymore. :sad:

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I can actually relate to a lot of what is going on in this thread. About a month ago my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up. I'm still not over her. All of that time I really didn't spend much time with my friends, I spent most of it with her. Now I feel really alone. Most of my good friends are going to different colleges, compounding the problem. All I can say is hang in there guys, hopefully it will get better eventually.

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I can actually relate to a lot of what is going on in this thread. About a month ago my girlfriend of 2 years and I broke up. I'm still not over her. All of that time I really didn't spend much time with my friends, I spent most of it with her. Now I feel really alone. Most of my good friends are going to different colleges, compounding the problem. All I can say is hang in there guys, hopefully it will get better eventually.

 

I hear ya! That's why it's so important to maintain a few (at least one) good friendship while in a relationship with someone. If the whole world becomes your SO then if that person leaves your life it's as if you lost the world.

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Thank you. Speaking from past experiences with him though, I feel like the longer we go without speaking, the harder it is for me to trust him. Like last summer when we broke up it took me up to now for him to start earning my trust back. I think a break weakens the relationship and starts playing tricks on you which in turn make the relationship in worse condition later.

I just wish he'd realize that he is not doing the relationship any good...but I guess he doesn't care because he is the one that doesn't want to be in it anymore.

 

Makeupgirl I feel for you and I agree with you, a break, time apart, break up totally weakens a relationship in current form, if you don't take time to think and reevaluate. It also gives you time to think about what you need in life or simply want. I have been on both ends of situation like this and only thing I can tell you is that it made me understand many things about myself and my partner. In my case when I broke up with my girl I felt as bad as she did, after a while the only thing I wanted to do is to make her happy more than anything in the world. Please take it slow, allow yourself to come to same conclusions and rather it being a trust issue make it a personal development one for the both of you, if things fall into place and you are together again.

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