Here I am again...

[browneyedgirl36]

until you learn to set boundaries wiht yourself and with others, you'll continue to have this same type of relationship.

 

Yep. By your own admission NPG, you've had relationships with several women that were almost identical to this one.

 

Really stop and think here, rationally: Do you want HER back specifically? Or, do you just really want to be in a relationship? Do you really want this kind of drama in your life, complete with physical abuse? Seriously? Yes, you have some fault in the problems in your relationships -- rarely are relationship issues completely one person's fault -- but you have to ask yourself why you keep choosing this same type of situation -- a very unhealthy one -- and why in the world you would want someone back who had physically assaulted you.

 

When you (a general "you" referring to people in general) repeat the same unhealthy relationship with different people (or repeatedly engage in an unhealthy on-off relationship with the same person) it's a clear sign that the pain and drama are NOT really about the other person at all -- they are about you, and you need to think about what it is in you that makes you stick around for this type of drama and/or keep seeking it out by connecting with the same types of women over and over again.

 

Please, NPG, consider this carefully. What has changed just in the last day or two that would make your relationship better? The break up happened for a reason, and it just happened a couple of days ago, not nearly long enough for any changes to have occurred in one or both of you, not even long enough to feel the feelings that go along with break-ups.

 

I have to admit, I am wondering if a lot of this is about you not wanting to be alone, rather than being about you really wanting to be with HER. Just something to think about.

[hers]

BEG is right. When you have the same pattern in relationships, it's not them anymore. It's not you just so happening to find all the crazies. It's you subconsciously finding yourself drawn to people that set you off or treat you badly. You're the lowest common denominator in all of your relationships. There's something you need to fix in you, not find a girl who's not crazy.

[lady00]

NPG, I can't believe after she hit you you would even consider going back to her. Well, actually, it's not that I can't believe it because many people do go back to someone who has hit them. I just don't want to believe it.

 

What would you say to a friend who told you that? Would you encourage them to get back together with the person who hit them? I can't in any way shape or form encourage that. I really sincerely hope you do not do that, because that will be taking 1000 steps back. Please, please try to learn from this experience and others, grow and move forward, not backward into an unhealthy relationship.

 

Continuing to be involved with her is just getting in the way of meeting someone who will be good for you. It's prolonging a bad situation far more than it needs to be.

[lady00]

NPG, any updates? Hope you're OK.