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I'm only 21 and I want a baby... help.


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I Have Feelings For Someone Else While In a Relationship

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I need help. I don't know how to curb my desire to have a baby.

 

I'm only 21 and ever since I can remember I have wanted to have a baby. I feel a pang of jealousy whenever I see a pregnant woman or a mother with a baby. It's terrible. I am constantly researching things about pregnancy and babies. I am literally obsessed. I don't know how to get rid of this feeling of wanting to have a baby so badly!

 

Although having been in a long term relationship with my boyfriend for three years, I am still studying (to be a teacher, I will be qualified at the end of next year) so I am in no situation at all to have a child! I am way too young and too financially unstable. But even though I am aware of this, I still can't get that desire to go away

 

Does anyone experience the same thing or have any advice? Is it bad that I want to have children as soon as I can?

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I dont think your desire is a bad thing. Its part of human nature to want to reproduce. Just be sure you do it in the right way, in a loving relationship in which the baby can be nurtured by parents. Dont have a baby just because you can.

 

The best things in life are worth waiting for.

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It's quite normal.

Since I was in my early teens, I have wanted a baby.

It grew stronger when I did enter a long term relationship, but within the last 2-3 years, the urge has passed as I have realized that now is not the time.

It was almost like getting over a little hill, and being on this side I feel like I would be a fool to have one at this point.

Being done school, getting my career going, a whole new different social life in the 'real world; getting a place with my boyfriend...I can't even rememeber the last time the thought crossed my mind...in fact he said it the other day while wandering through a department store and I found myself saying "Not for a few years! I have enough things to take care of now..." And its true.

Once you get into a different position in your life, the feeling may pass for a while and other things become your focus, or it will just grow stronger, you can't really predict.

 

It is normal, I know many women and females who feel stronly about wanting a child, or the desire to have one...but just because you do, doesn't mean its the right thing to do.

 

Just keep focusing on your personal goals, get yourself settled into a good career, establish your relationship goals, whether it be marriage prior to bringing a baby in the world, and put your energy into getting your life ready to be in a position to securely bring a baby into the world.

 

As long as you are acknoweldging that now isn't the time, I wouldn't worry.

Its normal to feel maternal, and have the desire to have a baby, for many women it is.

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I am way too young and too financially unstable. But even though I am aware of this, I still can't get that desire to go away

 

 

The "too financially unstable" realization should be enough to put your desire for a baby on the back burner. In fact, that should terrify you. How horrible would it be to have a baby you could not provide for. Do you know how many mothers are in that position? You should be thankful you're not in their shoes. Live your life, save up, make sure your boyfriend is in it for the long haul, and then have a baby when you are fully settled and financially secure. If you need a fix babysit other peoples kids

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I don't think that it's wrong for you to want to have a baby, but at least you acknowledge the fact that you are not ready to do so right now.

 

There are a lot of things to consider before having a baby, it's not cheap. Focus on your future goals, and worry about having a baby when you are more situated. I know when everything falls into place, you will be the best mother ever.

 

There is no need to rush right now. Don't get me wrong, I love babies and I think they're really adorable. At one point, I expect to have one but I do realize that I am not in the right place to do so right now.

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I think it's perfectly natural to want one, but it sounds like you've become a bit overly obsessive. Have you ever really thought about why you want one? I mean, really thought about it....

 

What the other posters have said is right on the mark. Make sure you're financially stable, have a solid relationship, etc. Raising a child is difficult and most people do not realize how difficult until it's too late. You seem as if you've got some pretty attainable goals, make sure you reach those before you have a baby because it's 10x harder to do so after you've become a parent. It might sound selfish to do so, but it will be better for your future child in the long run

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