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Dating a divorced man on my birthday


Bridgewater
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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I feel incredibly guilty and would like to know how I should handle this in the future or how to fix this now.

I have been dating a divorced man now for 5 years. I am close with his daughter and we get along very well. My birthday is this week and my boyfriend has season tickets to a baseball game. Money has been tight and I love baseball, so we thought that we would go. There are only 2 tickets.

He found out that he has his 14 yr old for my birthday so he invited her to the ballgame without asking me and said that we would sell the other tickets and he would buy new ones. I was not asked what I wanted and I thought we would have more of a romantic day. Now I look like the bad guy because I was not overwhelmed with joy with his decision. Her mother is going out of town that week so she will be staying with us. I just found that out as well..... Am I wrong to be dissapointed or not exactly happy about not being asked before he did this?

We ended up in a fight that I feel like I was pushed in a corner about.

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Well I can understand a bit of disappointment. On the other hand, his daughter is part of the package. You date him, you get her along with it. After 5 years I would imagine this is not the first time you've encountered this situation and it certainly won't be the last.

 

I'm curious why he didn't realize that he would have had his daughter with him before you made plans for the game. Was it a sudden change of schedule? Or did he just space out and forget?

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well, i know it's a bit upsetting, but i don't see how much choice he had. if he has his daughter, i think it's nice of him, like a good father, to include her in the plans. can you swap those 2 tickets for 3 seats somewhere else? the day can still be special even if his daughter is there.

 

what do you want to do for your birthday?

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I think he plans on getting the 3 tickets- It just came as a surprise. We tend to get her whenever - there usually is no planning invloved. That part is getting a little old as well because I feel like I can never count on plans that he and I make by ourselves. There seems to be alot of - oh by the ways.... I wanted to go to the game with him and then hook up with her afterwards for dinner and such-

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The thing is even if he is divorced, his daugther will always be his first responsibility, since he is a child and you are an adult.

 

And if you are serious about him, then you need to think of his daugther as your own, and not an interloper. If she were your child, you most like would go together to the ball game as a family, then later that evening, you and he have a romantic dinner and maybe a night out while she stays home. At 14, she can stay home by herself in the evening.

 

So you have a bigger problem in that you can never make it a competition between you and his daughter, or you'll lose. I think he solved the problem creatively by trading in the 2 tickets for 3.

 

I'd just tell him you were hoping for a romantic evening and see if he can arrange that after the ballgame.

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