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What the heck?.. Is he stalking me?


Elena1607308080

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Remember the weirdo I posted about a few days ago that I had a horrible date with? I don't know if I am hallucinating or what. But last night, when I was going to close the shutters on my window, I saw someone on standing outside of my apartment, it was dark so I had to take a closer look and sure enough it was him.. he just stood there staring right at me.. I was so shocked I closed them fast and after maybe half a minute I decided to peek and see if he was still there. He wasn't. Just poff, gone.

 

So he must have followed me when I left him at the restaurant.

He knows where I live. And he's a weirdo.

But he was just there looking so I guess it is not a case for the police. I can't help but worry though. No idea what his intentions are. What if I'll see him around again though?

 

lol I keep running this situation in my head where I leave my apt. in the evening and he jumps out and attacks me or something. A little exaggerated. But like today when I was out I couldn't help but look over my shoulders from time to time to see if he was following me. When I got home first thing I did was look around in my flat to see if there was anyone.

 

I guess I'm overreacting.

 

What do you think, guys?

 

PS:

I wanted to post this first under Abuse and Violence but it does not really fit. Since I have gone on a date with him I thought this category might fit. Please move if it doesn't!! lol I often have this problem when I post a thread.

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Oh Jeez!!! Creep Factor meter just pegged out!!!!

 

If I were you, I would call the police and ask them to please up their patrol in that area. They will do that if you ask them. Tell them your story. You don't have to file a complaint yet, but just having an extra patrol car in the area for a week or two will probably get rid of him.

 

YIKES!

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Ummm...that IS creepy!! I don't think you are overreacting at all. He has no business standing outside your apartment "just looking"!! Who is this guy, really?? Does your apartment building have security? If they do, I would advise the guards that there was a man who you went on a date with and he was following you.

If it gets to be more frequent, call the police and get them to open up a file on him. Even if it is for information purposes, and if the situation escalates, then they already know what is going on and the police can send a member to go talk to this creeper.

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well i think for a start let you neighbours know whats happened, not to alarm them of course but to let them know and to keep an eye out. then log it with your local police, and just be vigililant, if he followed you from the restaurant then he obviously is not wired up right.

 

so carry on as you are and just dont get complacement to soon, carry an anti-rape alarm on you and if he does try his luck unload the decibels/or mace on him kick him in the bollox and run to safety!

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pull all the stops:

 

- take a picture of him next time you see him so your neighbors know who you are talking about (post them in the lobby area so people know not to let him in, tell your landlord).

- you live in an apartment? how high are you?

- call the police next time this happens, that should give him a good scare

- make sure all your locks to your balcony and doors are secure (have new locks installed if that will make you feel safer)

- make sure all your windows are always closed and locked when you leave

- keep some pepper spray with you

- get an alarm system if you don't already have one

 

can't be too careful.

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well i think for a start let you neighbours know whats happened, not to alarm them of course but to let them know and to keep an eye out. then log it with your local police, and just be vigililant, if he followed you from the restaurant then he obviously is not wired up right.

 

so carry on as you are and just dont get complacement to soon, carry an anti-rape alarm on you and if he does try his luck unload the decibels/or mace on him kick him in the bollox and run to safety!

 

this is best. i'm not sure you can do anything police-wise yet, he hasn't offended you at all or approached you in any way. he was just there. it is a free country. creepy? absolutely.

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this is best. i'm not sure you can do anything police-wise yet, he hasn't offended you at all or approached you in any way. he was just there. it is a free country. creepy? absolutely.

 

It is absolutely against the law to follow people home without permission and stare at them from the darkness. It is called stalking and it is a punishable crime.

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It is absolutely against the law to follow people home without permission and stare at them from the darkness. It is called stalking and it is a punishable crime.

 

she said he must have followed her on a previous night. but the day she saw him he was just standing there.

 

OP, how did you get closer or get a better look and realize it's him? what kind of spot was this that you saw him? was he standing accross the street under a lamppost staring right into your living room, or was this like a common hallway or something?

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this is best. i'm not sure you can do anything police-wise yet, he hasn't offended you at all or approached you in any way. he was just there. it is a free country. creepy? absolutely.

 

she could still call the police and have them "up" their patrol in the area without having to file a complaint yet. I've done it and the police were happy to be of service. They just put your address on their "extra patrol" list.

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she said he must have followed her on a previous night. but the day she saw him he was just standing there.

 

OP, how did you get closer or get a better look and realize it's him? what kind of spot was this that you saw him? was he standing accross the street under a lamppost staring right into your living room, or was this like a common hallway or something?

 

I believe it is still stalking even if they'd never met, think celebrities.

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I believe it is still stalking even if they'd never met, think celebrities.

 

yeah, but those people get caught inside their house and all that, not standing in some public walkway. i'm assuming this was a public place where see saw him standing and not directly outside her window peeking in. then i'd say yeah, it's stalking. but i think stalking is when it goes beyond that by definition. i don't think one incident will get you anywhere.

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she could still call the police and have them "up" their patrol in the area without having to file a complaint yet. I've done it and the police were happy to be of service. They just put your address on their "extra patrol" list.

 

cops might stop by your house, but they are too busy with crack and gangs around here. depending on how bad it got i'm sure they would say, 'uhh, okay, yeah, we will up the ante around there.'

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yeah, but those people get caught inside their house and all that, not standing in some public walkway. i'm assuming this was a public place where see saw him standing and not directly outside her window peeking in. then i'd say yeah, it's stalking. but i think stalking is when it goes beyond that by definition. i don't think one incident will get you anywhere.

 

I'm happy to agree to disagree until someone can come up with the law and definition as written. Any type of harassment involves behavior/attention that is unwanted. Stalking implies doing so from a distance or indirectly.

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I'm happy to agree to disagree until someone can come up with the law and definition as written. Any type of harassment involves behavior/attention that is unwanted. Stalking implies doing so from a distance or indirectly.

 

i'm just wondering where he harassed her. ... by definition.

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Being close enough to her private residential location, unannounced, univited, stationary, and staring from the darkness implies a threat.

 

fine, agree to disagree.

 

i never said it wasn't creepy. but having a case or something the cops can do? not so sure on that.

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Hey guys thanks for taking the time.

 

Well I agree with ghost that it is not a case for the police (yet?). And, I don't really want to call them even if anything happens (unless he tries to murder me or beats me up which I really doubt). I will call N if I have to. I feel so much safer with him and he is, for me, much more reliable than the normal police. N knows where I live and I know he will be here within 5 minutes if he really has to. And he will if he knows I'm in danger.

 

Anyway to your question above ghost,

no he was standing right at the street that leads to my apartment. Maybe two or three meters from my window. I realized it's him when I really looked at him, lol. At first I just 'saw' a person standing there and did not think anything, then I looked at his face closely and saw it's him. y'know?

 

The thing is that if he assaults me.. he might not even stand a chance! He is not that muscular of a guy, and I'm a pretty physically strong woman even if you can't tell by my body. I have done martial arts for years, I was in the Army for two years, I've been doing regular exercises for the last 10 years.. so I guess I learned a lot about how to defend myself, I know all the tricks and moves for a 'combat'. So maybe I shouldn't be afraid ..

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this is best. i'm not sure you can do anything police-wise yet, he hasn't offended you at all or approached you in any way. he was just there. it is a free country. creepy? absolutely.

 

well, it's trespassing if he came onto her property (or the apartment building property) without permission.

 

i would even write him an email saying that you saw him on your lawn and if he comes near you again you are contacting the police.

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Honestly I would call the police and see what they say, even if they can't officially do anything yet they should be able to advise you on how to document incidents and that kind of thing so that if he persists, you'll have the best case you possibly can against him.

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when i was filing stalking papers against this one creepy guy, the #1 question that the police asked me was 'was i afraid physical harm would come to me?' and yes, i did. even though a lot of what he did wasn't THAT BAD, the fact that he was a foot taller and had a hundred pounds on me really intimidated me.

 

but yeah, getting the police involved helped, he left me alone.

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