Taking things personally

[Blockhead1013]

My biggest problem with girls, and probably the most blatant reason for me always screwing up is that I over think things way too much. I care way too much about not saying something wrong. I have gotten a lot better about it, I can communicate with people just fine, but whenever something happens with the other person no matter what it may be, I always tend to take it the wrong way and beat myself up over it. I wish I couldn't care, I've been to a psychologist and also a hypnotherapist over the past year making an effort to put an end to my terrible habits, but I really can't help but always think that I've said or done something wrong when the other person does something I don't expect (i.e. doesn't reply to a text). I know that its extremely unreasonable to think this way and I know its really unattractive, especially considering I'm a guy, but I really have no clue how to change.

 

I just started college and I expected to change by now, especially considering there are so many more opportunities, but my thinking habits really haven't changed.... How do I get my mind out of the gutter in situations I would be bound to over think?

[SapphireNoir10]

Im the same. Im very sensetive. If someone doesnt want to be my friend, or talk to me, or doesnt reply to texts/emails. I take it to heart. I take it as a personal affront that I have done something wrong.

 

I find that life is very short, and that I just have to be myself, say what I want to say (within reason, tact is important) And I only really want friends that will like me for me and will give back what I give in the friendship. Otherwise they arent really worth having as friends.

 

I am trying hard not to worry as much and realising in life what happens happens and you have no real control over anyone except yourself.

[ghost69]

you have to understand you cannot control how others think and what they think of you. once you understand your self-esteem is what you uphold, nothing can bother you. know who you are and be confident in that. know that rejection, dislike, etc. happens to you and will always happen. you can't control that.

 

all you can control is how you feel about yourself. you like you? then nothing else should matter.

[l0vel0rn]

Talk to lots of girls. Make as many friends as you can. Keep in contact with as many of them as you can. Don’t pin all your hopes on one person, and you won’t care as much if one person doesn’t respond to a text or anything else for that matter. Until you have an actual girlfriend, you shouldn’t worry so much about little things because there can be so many reasons for the little things. Sometimes the other person just doesn’t like you or care as much as you do. That’s not your fault, and there may be nothing you can do about it. If you keep yourself busy though, you will have less time to fret over one girl not responding to a text message or email or IM or whatever. And you will be opening the door to other opportunities, one of which may actually pan out for you.