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"You are a guy who is my girlfriend"


SatiricalVoice
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Meh. Someone help me understand this. I'm the kind of guy who has several close girls who are friends. I have several guys who are close friends too, but it seems that its often easier to be close friends with [some] girls. Probably because they actually talk back to you and aren't afraid of going deep (again, some of them).

 

So, again, I'm close with a few girls. I'm often sarcastic, witty, flowing between superficial and deep as to make thing light-hearted, yet intelligent. I'm also the supportive type. Just to clarify, I'm not out to date any of these girls, I just find I get along with them, and my supportive nature comes out when they need it.

 

Okay. So, I succeed in being supportive most of the time. And I keep running into a wall ](*,) in the sense that I keep getting this line: "Its official--you're one of my girlfriends now" in a very happy-sort-of-tone.//EDIT: Note: The phrase "You're like a brother to me" would not bother me in this situation//EDIT

 

Not to whine or anything, but do girls understand that this isn't exactly what guys want to hear....ever? Why do they do this? The equivalent of calling a guy one of your "girlfriends" (in measures of what it does to one's pride) is, to some at least, calling a girl a "tramp" or something similar. Not that being a girl is worse than being a guy, but simply put, a guy doesn't need to hear he is a "girl".

 

Okay, so I was never the star athlete in school. Okay, so I don't talk about cars and women 24-7. Okay, so I don't feel like expressing myself in an overly-aggressive fashion in order to send out the vibe that I am "macho". I may be thin, but I do work out, do play sports, do have other guys for friends, play poker, lead others, etc.

 

But what do you say to that? "Uhh, thanks? Thanks for making me feel like crap? Thanks for making me partially regret I was willing to carry part of your burden?" Yeah, I know that's a little far, but its what I want to say.

 

I know I'm making this a bigger deal than it is, but I find it annoying, or rather, insulting to hear this from any girl.

 

Say what you will: Advice, discussion of "why", or whatever else.

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Tell them, "Last I checked I have a penis. But, I'm glad I'm a good friend of yours. You're a good friend of mine, too."

 

Sarcastic, witty and deep. Just like you. And if she responds back that she says it because she can talk to you just like one of the girls thank her and tell her that's good, but you prefer being a man.

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They are making sure that you don't have any "romantic" ideas or goals. I agree though it is pretty emasculating. It is nice to be thought of as a "threat" even if one has no intention of follow up on it.

 

Sheesh, girls, they just don't understand men do they?

 

Nice observation!

 

check to make sure you have a penis right in front of them. That will secure the deal!!!

 

This will for sure make them realize that you are a threat.

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I'm a girl and i get it. if i want to tell a guy hes a good friend ill be like "You are like my bud now" cos i know guys dont want to be referred to as *girlfriends* unless their gay. She probably didn't mean it as in she thinks you're gay she meant it as in you're easy to talk to and you're not afraid to go deep and alot of girls like that in a guy. Guys who think they're hard is just a big turn off to be honest.

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Thanks to all for your replies. After reading a couple of them, I calmed down significantly/got over it.

 

I like those ideas posted about how to respond in being witty and affirming of the friendship, yet firm in my distaste.

 

And yes, I also realize (thru this experience) not to call a girl "one of the guys", but to affirm how easy it would be to talk to her.

 

 

 

 

 

...and no, I won't check to see if I have a penis in front of her. Its one of the fastest ways to get the cops to pay me a visit.

 

 

Again, thanks to all for your help

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I think it is a matter of not getting overly-sensitive about something you're thinking of in the wrong context. It sounds to me that when a girl says that to you, you feel like you're being put down and what she really means is that you're a great friend in her life!

 

I mean, there is a difference between:

 

"OMG, you're such a girl!" and having someone roll their eyes at you or make fun,

 

than:

 

"You're just like one of my girlfriends" who I'm pretty sure she adores if they are her good friends.

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They are making sure that you don't have any "romantic" ideas or goals. I agree though it is pretty emasculating. It is nice to be thought of as a "threat" even if one has no intention of follow up on it.

 

Sheesh, girls, they just don't understand men do they?

 

yep fishy is right.......

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