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Organising an outting with friends


Rickster

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I recently had an idea organising something to do with a bunch of friends and felt I needed to do it for a couple of reasons:

 

1) I've been asked on several occasions by the very friends I plan on asking on an outting and feel it is unfair if I do not at least try to organising one

2) I'm shy and can get pretty anti-social and some of these friends know that and I need to prove to them that I can and am able to organise something

3) If I continue to not organise something, I'm worried I may be left out of future outtings

4) It is a good way to build my friendship with some of them which I may never have the opportunity to see them ever again due to certain circumstances

 

Now my problems starts with not having done this big outting groups. I've done just 1 person, but not more than that. Although they do know each other but not very well (because we all have stayed in a dorm) I'm worried that one group may not be able to integrate with the other (this is the reason why I prefer small groups whom know each other well). Also, I'm unsure if they will like the acitvity I plan on doing. I just have no guts to do it. Am I worrying too much?

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You're worrying too much. It also sounds like you're doing it only to appease them instead of yourself. Do this b/c you want to, not b/c you want the approval of others.

 

You also shouldn't worry how people integrate with each other. You're not responsible for how social they are and if they're mingling or having fun. If you do organize it, that's the most you can do b/c you're not responsible for how they view things as fun.

 

But you should stil do it only if you want to and not to gain acceptance.

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Ok I shouldn't have used the word need to, instead it is want to. I don't think I'm trying to gain acceptance. Acceptance into what? I'm trying to repay back a favour because I felt privileged to be invited to some of their hangouts. The reason why I said I wanted to prove to them I am capable of organising something was because I was having a chat with one of my best friends along with this other friend and she was saying I should organise something. That other girl read my expression and said that it looks like you won't do that. I was telling them how I was shy and not knowing how people will get along with each other. Last thing I want is for an individual to be left out cause I know the feeling.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yeah, I used to organize outings in the past and being the host of the event, I feel some pressure in making sure that everybody is enjoying and having a good time. And because of that, sometimes I end up not having fun myself because I worry about everyone else too much. It's tough because your friends may bring their own friends, and if someone starts complaining about something, I feel like I'm not putting enough effort, but at the same time, it can get annoying because people can complain about really trivial things. In the end, I figured that you can't please anyone and to hell with it. I want my fun too!

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