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if you ignored them cos stress would u feel as though you could get in touch again?


masterman_05

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if you ended up ignoring someone because you were so stressed with a situation that you just closed off and pushed her away (this is what guys do) but then after a few weeks were less stressed and able to deal with her would you feel like you could contact them again even though you had ignored them?

 

or would you feel like you ignored them so you now have no right to contact them because they would be mad etc.

 

trust me when i say i was stressed...i was given a life changing ultimtium and it messed with my head BIG time and then i had this gret girl who i was dating asking me what was going on, i just couldnt deal and shut her off. she stopped contacting me after 4 unanswered txts over a period of a week.

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shes very sweet but when i was really stressed her msgs etc just didnt help! as it made me more confused and more on my plate so i just shut off.

 

she is so sweet that even tho i ignored 3 txts she wrote me on last one sayin that she missed me, felt like she was able to open up again after being closed for so long, how she hadnt been happy like that in a long time and what a nice feeling that was and how it was hard knowing whether to give me space or not and how she thought i was amazing and that she just wanted me to know that if i ever wanted her or needed her she would be there.

 

(she knew i was going thru something very hard)

 

i just feel weird initating contact after having ignored her. do ppl just let it go out of the arkwardness?

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I think from the sound of that text she sent you that the decent thing to do would be to contact her regardless of ANY intentions you may have and apologise...She was obviously showing support and concern for you during a hard time or trying too.. Perhaps it is time you considered her feelings as you are presently considering only your own.(it feels weird))This may have been very understandable during your crisis..it is now time to think of her..it is common courtesy and you should phone her directly, the sooner the better.

If she is a lovely sweet girl as you have expressed you owe her some contact

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i just feel weird initating contact after having ignored her. do ppl just let it go out of the arkwardness?

 

she was obviously worried about you and extended some well wishes to show she cared. the fact that you didn't acknowledge that would be hurtful.

 

I can understand that you would feel weird contacting her again. But you must to show you are a good person and you care about her. When people go MIA and basically ignore the other person it is a loud and clear message that says "I don't care about you, I never did and I don't care if you are in my life or not"

 

Do you want to date her again? Or just clear the air and make sure she doesn't hate you?

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Is this the first time you have ignored her and shut her out whenever you had a crisis? It sounds a bit immature to me. I think the adult thing to do is to express how you feel, instead of just ignoring her and not telling her anything. She was clearly concerned and is probably hurt right now. Not only hurt but she probably thinks that you are immature as well. If you want to show her that you usually dont deal with all of your problems like this then the right thing to do is to call her and apologize. She probably thought, this guy doesn't want anything to do with me, I am going to leave him alone forever, or she is probably confused and wondering what she did wrong. Not all men ignore their partner, date, loved one, fiance, gf or wife when they have a crisis. If anything they talk to them or tell them how they feel or if they cant talk about it then they ask for a little time alone. I think it was definitely rude and you should contact her, but if you do make sure the first thing you tell her is

 

Im sorry for not thinking about your feelings and shutting you out. I had a situation I have never been in before and truthfully, I didn't know how to deal with it, so I needed time alone but I want to let you know that I do not deal with all of my problems this way, and it was totally unnecessary to ignore you. Thank you for trying to be there, I just didn't know how to cope.

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Yes, it is the first time ive shut her out.

 

The issue that caused me to shut her out was that my ex told me she as pregnant and had kept this from me and that she wanted us to try again.

 

I did not know what to do. was over her but she was carrying my child.

 

Then I told this girl who i was beginning to date about this and she was really sweet about it all and was just supportive but i could tell she was upset. I could tell she was worried about me possibly getting back together with ex even if was just cos she was preggers.

 

This really freaked me out, the situation that is. I got a bit distant cos i had a lot on my mind and i sent the girl im seeing a txt after a couple of days and she txt back and when i didnt reply she txt me again the next day and then sent a txt saying if i couldnt see her she wouldnt be mad and kind of like along the lines of wondering where we stood, why i was being distant i suppose etc and so i just shut down.

 

to be honest i kind of felt that the girl i was seeing was being a bit selfish in sending me txt like that when i was going through a hard time which she knew all about. I think maybe she was selfish here even though i had ignored her 2 txts. but im not sure? do you think she was selfish? it just stressed me out.

 

do you see where i was coming from at all or do you think she wasnt selfish by doing this at all?

 

id o care about her, and can think clearer now but at time was just too hard. I would just like to see her again, at very least be friends.

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I think the key would be to recognize and explain why you broke contact. If someone who ignored me just called me up one day and was like, "Hey, what's up?" and never brought up the 'elephant in the room', I wouldn't be interested in reconnecting with them. But if you can own up to what you did, explain what was going on and explain what your intentions are (calling to appologize, calling to see if we can reconnect, calling to see how you've been), then that's mature and respectful and should go over much better than just popping in on her life at this point.

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I think the key would be to recognize and explain why you broke contact. If someone who ignored me just called me up one day and was like, "Hey, what's up?" and never brought up the 'elephant in the room', I wouldn't be interested in reconnecting with them. But if you can own up to what you did, explain what was going on and explain what your intentions are (calling to appologize, calling to see if we can reconnect, calling to see how you've been), then that's mature and respectful and should go over much better than just popping in on her life at this point.

 

 

Yea I agree with this. She might question your motives as to why you're contacting her weeks later (I know I would). I had a similar situation happen to me, where the guy didn't contact me for 6 days. When he finally did contact me I had lost quite a bit of interest. However you have a better excuse than he did.

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Describe an old friend you got in c...
Describe an old friend you got in contact with again

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