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My ex is leaving in a week and I am starting over


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I seen my ex recently when hanging out with friends at the beach. I started to think about him and many times asked him for another chance. He refused. I sent him many messages and he sent one back and said "no contact at all what is so ever from now on and he does not want to see me nor talks to me before he leaves. Everything that needed to talk about had been said".

 

The breakup has been exactly about 3 months. We broke up at the end of May and now it's almost at the end of August. I was in pain. He on the other hand seemed very relief about the breakup and it seems like he has a great summer so far. For me, this summer is the saddest moments in my life.

 

I had a relapse yesterday. I cried as I sat in the empty room and checking my emails hoping to hear from him. All I got was nothing. I cried so hard and I wished that all my memories can be lost. I had a nightmare last night about my ex.

 

When I woke up this morning, I didn't feel that great so I decided to run over to my best friend's house. I am here now and she is sleeping. I canceled my emails and I am thinking about deactivated my facebook but I think it's best if I keep it because I have people from school reaching to me using fb.

 

I think of all the mistakes that I made. I regret a lot of things. I want to reach out to him but at this point, nothing I can say will make a difference. So from now on, I rather choose to say silence. I tried so hard to reach out and I didn't want to believe it, but a step forward is a step back.

 

He was my first love and was the center of my life.

 

School is starting for me in 2 weeks and I wish to move on completely. Please give me some advices.

 

Thanks enotalone members for helping me out in the past few months. I really appreciate it.

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1st day of a set NC. I don't want to go back or break it like before. Never. No matter what.

 

I am in a better position than before. I wasn't as devastated when we first broke up. But I wasn't being careful and the hole is my heart is starting to re-open as me and my ex started to communicate and seen each other at gatherings at the beach.

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Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS
Why Men Come Back - ALWAYS

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