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any advice welcome!


second_opinion

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he told me he has 3 kids, he is 31. I dont know if I should get serious with him because what are the chances of him returning to his ex. Apparently all the kids are from his ex. I dont know if they were accidnts or planned. His ex have been apart for 7 months, shes apparently dating someone else right now. so the uestion is should i take a risk and go for it, I like the guy. or should I walk away?

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he told me he has 3 kids, he is 31. I dont know if I should get serious with him because what are the chances of him returning to his ex. Apparently all the kids are from his ex. I dont know if they were accidnts or planned. His ex have been apart for 7 months, shes apparently dating someone else right now. so the uestion is should i take a risk and go for it, I like the guy. or should I walk away?

 

walk away? i think you should run away.

 

 

however can you expand on your situation as well? i say run because he has a lot of baggage and there are so many things that can go wrong right now.

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If you're dating casually, I don't see a need to walk away. But understand that he's probably dating for the first time in a looong time and is not prepared to be serious about a relationship. Or if he IS serious, it might be covering up the proper greiving of his divorce, whether or not he still loves her. It's still a big life change.

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yes i know what you mean, however he seems like a real nice guy. honestly I havent met anyone like him for a very long time. They live with his ex and her partner.

 

how long have you been seeing him for?

 

everyone can seem 'nice'. her partner? was the reason for the breakup her change in sexual preference?

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sorry i meant the kids live with his ex and her partner, no shes dating a guy, no change in sexual pref. They were not married, they have been dating on and off. He has been in relationships since the breakup but he said its hard for him to find someone who is accepting of his 'bagagge'

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sorry i meant the kids live with his ex and her partner, no shes dating a guy, no change in sexual pref. They were not married, they have been dating on and off. He has been in relationships since the breakup but he said its hard for him to find someone who is accepting of his 'bagagge'

 

i think for now take sav's advice .. see him casually and take it very slow. you're going to have to see if he can be stable and 'nice' enough for the long term, and there is no way in determining that unless you continue to date him and see it first hand.

 

i feel sympathetic for him because many people won't accept the baggage of 1 kid, let alone *3*. but if he genuine and if you really like him, then you should be willing to be patient with this.

 

another thing you have to consider is that if you ever want to be serious, you'll eventually have to help him with his responsibilities to his kids - and perhaps one day you're own kids on top of that.

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If you are worried about him returning to his ex, well I should think that when a couple with kids chooses to split up, they mean it possibly more so than if they didn't have kids--because they have the kids to think about. If they split, get back together, split... that's really detrimental for their sake. So I don't think reuniting with his ex is something anyone in his shoes would take lightly because of the kids. But that's just very generally. I mean, is there anything he does/says that gives you reason to think he would want to get back with his ex?

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I used to say that I would never date a guy with kids. Then I started to see how HARD it is to be a good mom by spending time with my friends and their kids. So, then I thought having kids where half or more of the work is already done could be pretty sweet!!

If she's a good mom, cares for the kids, there's not a lot of drama between them and he's a good dad and emotionally available and you LIKE kids, then I don't see why it would be "too much baggage"

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