vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I'm asking because I made a thread last time basically talking about how I told my ex off and being mean to him because he has once again hurt my feeling. How? We established an innocent friendship, and I was fine with the contact and what not. We were friendly... that is, until he started up the FC (full contact) and flirted with me hardcore. I felt so confused to what this all meant, and I finally asked him what's up. He confessed that he is still "physically attracted" to me and wants to have sex with me. I started crying but he didn't knew cause we were only texting each other by phone. It hurt, I guess, because he was my first and ever since he knew that I slept with this other guy a while back, he started acting very flirtacious around me. So, I don't know... I guess I do feel bad for thinking "Oh yeah I did the right thing telling him off! HA!" cause that's not exactly how I want to come off as... I just felt very hurt that he would go from making me feel very bad, to being sweet, to hurting me, being nice, hurting me, and then... "Hey, let's have sex!" I mean... How would you guys react if your ex came out and told you that? Link to comment
scared and alone Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I would tell him to go to hell. If he doesn't want a relationship with me, he is NOT getting sex from me. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 I would tell him to go to hell. If he doesn't want a relationship with me, he is NOT getting sex from me. It's not that, it's just, everytime I would try and do the friendship thing, he keeps making it harder for me to keep it. So I was like, "Forget you then!" and he got mad but, whatever. I don't regret kicking him out of my life. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 It's not that, it's just, everytime I would try and do the friendship thing, he keeps making it harder for me to keep it. So I was like, "Forget you then!" and he got mad but, whatever. I don't regret kicking him out of my life. He will only be out of your life completely when you go NC. He seems to be making you feel everything but happy. Why have a friend like that? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 He will only be out of your life completely when you go NC. He seems to be making you feel everything but happy. Why have a friend like that? Our break up was horrible, and he acted immature and would spread rude stuff about me in school and just... I don't know. Just horrible crap happened to me the past 5 months ago. Even his friends were after me and putting me down and making me feel bad. It was the worst, like that one Lifetime movie, "Odd Girl Out". I guess for some reason we "had to be friends" because we share tons of mutual friends and went to the same school together. (Not anymore, I'm going to college now). Check this out for laughs- Around the 3rd month of us breaking up, he was dating this girl that I knew for a long time, and she complained to me that all he talked about was me, me, me. He would always ask, "Why is she ignoring me? Why is she avoiding me? I miss her, I wish we can talk, etc etc." and I felt horribly embarrassed. I wouldn't date a guy who keeps talking about his ex, would you?!? Since I only talk to one of our mutual friends (I pretty much dropped everyone else), we don't talk anymore, and our mutual friend knows about the situation and understands completely, God bless her. She used to egg on me to be his friend, but now she knows how horrible my ex can be and decides to be neutral about the whole thing. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Ya, he's obviously not being a friend to you if he's only your friend for sex. I wouldn't take it personally though. If my ex wanted sex, I'd be on it. I'm going crazy from sex deprivation. I'd ask him, but he already has a gf. =( boo life. He's such a good lay. That lucky *****! Link to comment
fixyou_ Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 save yourself from even more pain by telling him off. he doesn't respect you. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 save yourself from even more pain by telling him off. he doesn't respect you. I already did a few nights ago and I don't regret it. I know I've said this before many times and never meant it, but this is the beginning of NC that is going to last a lifetime. I usually break down after a month or so, but I'm gonna try my hardest to keep going along longer. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I already did a few nights ago and I don't regret it. I know I've said this before many times and never meant it, but this is the beginning of NC that is going to last a lifetime. I usually break down after a month or so, but I'm gonna try my hardest to keep going along longer. That is really the best thing you can do..... Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 That is really the best thing you can do..... I know, I remember having such nice times during NC, not having to worry if my ex will try and pull one over me again and again. I'm just done. Finished. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Oh no. . . Are you saying there are exceptions to him when he has been mean to you because he was your first? Don't ever be make exceptions because he is your first. He hurt you, with his immature manner. Your heart was and can be broken by him again. Physical contact can make you love him again. Then you begin the whole cycle allover again. Can you possibly still have feelings for him after you have slept with someone else? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 Oh no. . . Are you saying there are exceptions to him when he has been mean to you because he was your first? Don't ever be make exceptions because he is your first. He hurt you, with his immature manner. Your heart was and can be broken by him again. Physical contact can make you love him again. Then you begin the whole cycle allover again. Can you possibly still have feelings for him after you have slept with someone else? It was like this; We did the friends thing and I was sure I didn't liked him up until he started flirting with me and messed with my head. I was thinking if he wanted me back, and old feelings started to resurface. All I need now is NC and time... and fall in love again with someone new. Link to comment
Mellie Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I'd react - BADLY - but I'd try not to let him know it. Just tell him no thank you very much and keep your chin up. I'm sure you can do a lot better than that. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Yes i know the flirting all too well. I have been in your situation and came worse off. Going through the cycle of healing again. Do you think falling for someone new is really going to fix you? Do you think you may hurt the person you fall in love with in the process of your own healing? Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 Yes i know the flirting all too well. I have been in your situation and came worse off. Going through the cycle of healing again. Do you think falling for someone new is really going to fix you? Do you think you may hurt the person you fall in love with in the process of your own healing? Like I said, I need NC, a lot of time, and then when I feel 100% ready, I start dating again to find a serious relationship. I don't believe in rebounds. My ex does, but I don't. He ended up way worse off than I did so eh. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 You said you slept with someone after him a while back. Doesn't this mean you had a rebound encounter? Well. You now have said exactly what you need to do if you are really wanting to forget about him. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 You said you slept with someone after him a while back. Doesn't this mean you had a rebound encounter? Well. You now have said exactly what you need to do if you are really wanting to forget about him. I really liked this guy whom I slept with. I wanted us to date, but he didn't liked me like that. We don't talk anymore. My friend just told me that she had heard that, while my ex and I were together, he has kissed a bunch of girls in this one party, and while it doesn't hurt, I do feel pretty worthless. :S Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I'd probably punch him in the face. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 At this point she's been with other men, which means she's now dirty to me and I don;t want none from her until she's clean again. [sTD Checkup] Link to comment
catfeeder Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 When I'm done, I'm done, so he wouldn't have an opportunity to ask. If we had mutual friends, I'd only see him when others are present. If he tried to slip me the question, I'd pretend I didn't hear him. I see nothing flattering about the prospect of being used and believed to be stupid. In your corner. Link to comment
JonasWaingaro Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 After this long...I'd probably ask 'what's sex?' Link to comment
blitzkrieged Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 ugh... My ex did that, he used me for a really long time before I finally realized he didnt secretly like me and really didn't want to get back together Nice to me when he wanted me to come over (after a long periods of ignoring or coldness). At least I learned from it and will never ever do it again! He was a really good actor when he needed to be. NC really was the solution and sure enough he sent me an email a few months later saying sorry with about a thousand euphimisms for what he did in his email. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Best thing to do is simply cut all ties on a permanent basis. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 ugh... My ex did that, he used me for a really long time before I finally realized he didnt secretly like me and really didn't want to get back together Nice to me when he wanted me to come over (after a long periods of ignoring or coldness). At least I learned from it and will never ever do it again! He was a really good actor when he needed to be. NC really was the solution and sure enough he sent me an email a few months later saying sorry with about a thousand euphimisms for what he did in his email. Wow, your ex sure sounds like Prince Charming. I'm sorry you had to go through that... It was so scary for me because, he would flirt with me and text me like EVERYDAY and I thought maybe hey, we must be getting good friends which was nice... Nope. He just wants me in bed and that's it. Ugh. Link to comment
furious Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I'd take up the offer. But I'm a guy. I'm not emotional about this sort of thing. Link to comment
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