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friends with ex..


krisingreen
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why do i get the feeling that most people think it's such a bad idea to be friends with your ex, like my best friend for example.. she always say that you can never be friends with someone who you got intimate with.. it is actually true that's it's difficult but not impossible. my ex and i decided to be friends and quit the NC rule.. we both felt that it is a good idea since we don't really want to be in another relationship with different people and we're trying to work things out if it is really us or not.thing is, i did hate my ex after we broke up but i understand him and i came to understand myself too after we broke up.. we're better off as friends.. i was a revelation actually when it happened and we laughed about it too. i think that being friends with your ex if always an option specially for couples who are lost in themselves. i mean, life is too short to waste it all on anger and regrets and what if's.. i mean if the idea is good for both parties, then why not? right? after all, the two of you have been together thru thick and thin, some things are just not really what you expect but nobody is perfect, you just have to move on and forgive each other's shortcomings. i guess too, that since we decided being friends, it was a lot easier to go on each day thinking that im not holding any grudge against someone (ex) just because i got my heart broken into a million pieces.

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I can understand being friends with an ex, but only after both does not feel any emotional attachment to each other anymore. But if you remain friends and one of you wants to get back together but the other doesn't, or if someone was moving on and seeing someone else, someone is going to get hurt and not moving on as quickly as s/he needs to, so it's quite pointless to remain friends if you're going to feel that constant rejection or heartbreak.

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I am friends with several ex girlfriends but in no way can that be done overnight. No way. It takes time.

 

I had a horrible break up with my last ex nearly two years ago and we've only just started speaking again after a horrible year trying to be friends straight away. It was impossible for me because I never wanted to break up, she moved on pretty quickly and is now with someone else. I had to go away with the intention of never speaking to her again. I had to live life without her. Which I did and now I'm ready to bury the hatchet and we made peace over Facebook the other day. But even now, it's not easy. It's going to take a while before we'll be close friends (if ever).

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yeah, i guess so too, but at the moment we feel like we need to do it.. for some reasons i don't really know..but i think it's because we still love each other but we decided not to be in a romantic relationship because at the moment we are trying to achieve a goal that's different. i wanted to go to another country and he wants to pursue his career.. he said he wanted to make himself better first and we have been sacrificing a lot because of the relationship so we thought it's best to stay friends..

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I was friends with my ex ex. We parted amicably enough I guess. He's a good man and I enjoyed his friendship. Sadly we just kinda drifted apart once he started seeing someone that he felt was going to be long term and shortly there after I started dating someone as well and we haven't seen or talked to each other for about 5 years now.

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It's a sham, and one will drop the other like a hot rock the moment they become involved in a new relationship that becomes serious.

 

It works for a time when both are still single (like you two), but it doesn't last. Eventually you or him will meet someone new and will not feel such a strong desire for this "friendship" with your ex.

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You probably think it's okay because you still are at that place where your relationship isn't really over. For those who truly wants to move on, they shouldn't be friends with an ex. Esp with an ex that they've been truly intimate with. I don't mean physically intimate but emotionally and mentally as well. I know I could never be in a platonic relationship with my first bf, but I definitely can with my 2nd. Although I've slept with the 2nd one, I wasn't emotionally/mentally intimate with him. I wouldn't even call sex with him intimate either, actually. So it's different.

 

Being absolutely honest, I know that if I was his gf, I would be PISSED if I found out that he and I were still friends... so we keep our distance from each other. There's this weird something there. Not in love, but still lingering love of some sort between us. We would never actually get back together. We're not mad at each other. We don't regret anything nor are we bitter. It's not about that. There are just somethings you can't go back on.

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Personally, I am still best friends with my former-girlfriend, we were friends for years beforehand so after a bit of work it's been a fulfilling friendship and having a confidant is wonderful.

 

Now, in general, it depends on what caused the break-up. Romantic relationships require friendship and romantic love to continue, so long as trust, respect, kindness, isn't done away with or irreparably damaged (the traits needed in a friendship) a rewarding friendship can still continue after both parties are open and honest about where they're heading.

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