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How to read her REACTION when initiating RC


zorro13

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I had a relation for about 2 years;

Broken up with her for about 1 year ++ ago ; The reason of broken up was because i had taken her for granted but without any issue of infidelity from either side;

INITIATED STRICT NC for about 7 months;

Recently attempted RC out of coincidence when i saw her at MSN and I started a conversation with her. After that we did exchange our messages at facebook.

 

There are few things which i noted

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, i keep on telling myself to prepare for WHATEVER OUTCOME...haha...so that i will feel happy...currently i am feeling good and happy... I am taking a VERY PRECAUTIOUS way of communicating with her or in other words i really talk to her as a "friend" at this moment without mentioning anything related to relationship. I dont want to be hurt for 2nd time.

 

What really bothering me is HOW TO READ HER RESPOND ? does it have any ulterior meaning OR i am too sensitive.

 

I know that i should'nt place much hope or too sensitive with her respond BUT i just wish that anyone could share with me WHAT SHE MAY BE THINKING...

 

I know it's quite hard to read her mind at this moment.

 

Zorro13

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Well, you know it's impossible to say what she's thinking. I mean, I would imagine she was asking about the baby to see whether he was yours. If it had transpired that he was, maybe she wouldn't have been happy, but that could have been more about ego than actually wanting to get something restarted. "I'm happy that you're still concerned about me" is positive, but the danger is that she's saying it in that she thinks highly of you (in a friends zoned way) and doesn't want you to think badly of her. If she's contacting you quite a bit, that's a good thing. I guess you have to keep things light and fun - if she wants to bring up the relationship you need to keep the channels open, but I wouldn't go brining it up first. All depends on whether you can take it if she wants to be friends. Have you moved on, or are you sure she's the one for you?

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She's a normal person, of course she's going to be happy if the guy she once had a relationship with asks about how she's doing and things like those. I think she's just being polite and perhaps happy to hear from you.

 

Don't get too attached, she might just want to catch up.

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Thanks Mellie. Really appreciate your opinion and your opinion does concur with what i am thinking.

 

Yup i need to take this light and fun.

 

 

 

 

Thanks Cuppedia. I shouldnt be so excited or too attached with it.

 

Just take it lightly and see how it goes.

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Just an update of my feeling (initiated the first ACTIVE contact with her after have not heard her voice for about 10 months.)

 

I just give her a called and we spoke for about 45mins just to catch up each others. It was quite ok kind of conversation.

 

The contents of the conversation is limited to what happened to each other for the past 1 1/2 years. Of course not in details....just here and there. Strictly NO discussion as to the relationship.

 

I noticed few things

 

1) I can feel it that she is a bit cautious and defensive to the contents of the conversation; ( Maybe i couldnt break the ice YET but i dont think i wanna push for anything YET at this moment)

 

2) She sounds not so happy with her current life BUT i dont dare to confirm this with her because she didnt sound like wanna share with me YET....i am pretty confidence to confirm this...;

 

3) She sounds quite aggresive with her life;

 

I took the conversation lightly. I guess i acted pretty confidence when talking to her.

 

I know, It is NOT AN EASY TASK WAITING AHEAD, it's pretty TOUGH ( I mean that I must be very careful with my words and topics ) It's much more tactical than i have contemplated.

 

She is not really treating me as a friend yet !! Maybe i am not even close to a friend !! She still reserive a lot of things to herself and not sharing with me.. BUT at the same time she didnt even directly or indirectly suggest any friendship between us.

 

Anyway, this is only the BEGINNING..so i guess i shouldnt place any kind of expectation and i should in fact wait for her readiness...AM I RIGHT ?

 

Hmmmm.....I guess i can only wait and see what i can do next BUT i dont think i will initiate another phone call conversation with her for the coming maybe weeks because of what happened today....AM I RIGHT ?? ANY THOUGHTS ??

 

Should i just restrict myself to MSN at this moment ??

 

Please dont hesistate to share your thoughts with me.

 

Many thanks in advance.

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