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Is there something wrong with me?


Rekcup
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I am always up and down emotionally. My anxiety always seems to be here, although it can go away from time to time it always creeps back no matter what. I think this anxiety might be coming from paranoia.

 

Basically, I've never considered myself as paranoid but thinking back I've had some pretty paranoid thoughts, which seem to come into my head for no reason and are totally irrational. For example, at one point I thought I might have been terminally ill (for no reason), and my parents where secretly putting medicine in my food and drink to stop me from dying. Another paranoid thought I still get is that of cameras behind mirrors, or in bathrooms. A crack or hole always makes me believe there might be a camera behind it. Can anybody help me? I find myself always becoming depressed and I think this might be the cause

 

As for my anxiety, I get the usual symptoms. When I lived in university halls I would often go an entire day and most of the night not eating a thing because I was too scared to go in the kitchen. If a flatmate caught me out in the kitchen it felt like a bomb was going off the second they walked in. I was going to drop at the end of the year (due to a bad course choice) but I ended up leaving mid-year because I couldn't take the anxiety all the time. I just spent my days in my room, sneaking out for food and trying to be as quiet as possible when I was in my room.

 

Can someone please help me and tell me what's going on? The more I think about this the more apparent it becomes how it's stopping me from being happy and getting on in life.

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