Jump to content

Ridiculous Put Downs by Your Ex


Recommended Posts

I feel kind of embarassed for sharing this, but it just occurred to me how stupid some of my ex's complaints about me were in the relationship. I wonder if these complaints support the fact that he's a true commitment phobe or whether he was just extremely judgmental. Have you ever had an ex say such dumb things to you? Please share. Here's my list:

 

Ridiculous Put Downs by MY ex

 

1. I ordered a desk and matching bookshelf for my bedroom...but it wasn't made out of the "right" wood! My ex had a cow, saying I SHOULD HAVE CONSULTED HIM FIRST about the type of WOOD I purchased. (HE only gets genuine oak furniture.) He actually sulked about it. By the way, we didn't even live together!

 

2. When we house-sat for some friends, I accidentally forgot to wash the toothpaste scum out of the basin ONE TIME. He sulked and withdrew from me FOR THE WHOLE DAY! I had to beg him to tell me what was wrong. He kept saying "Nothing," then finally broke down and said I left toothpaste in the sink! The crazy thing is, HE left a huge mess in the kitchen while he sat around playing videogames (and ignoring me). I didn't make a big deal out of THAT.

 

3. We were going to a documentary one night, so I wore a good pair of jeans, a blouse, and some matching sneakers. HE HAD A FIT! He actually turned the car around and drove me home so that I could CHANGE MY SHOES! When I asked my family and friends what was wrong with my shoes, they said absolutely nothing. The shoes were not eccentric or ill-matching.

 

 

4...then he had the nerve to say that what (SHOES) I wore reflected on HIM! He said I would be missing out on opportunities. I said WE WERE JUST GOING TO A DOCUMENTARY, not a JOB INTERVIEW!...and he said, you never know who we might run into. GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK!

 

5. We used to go out to eat about once a week, sometimes dinner, sometimes brunch. One night, he drove to a restaurant without even asking me what I was in the mood for. Granted, I got a little upset and complained that he didn't even consider me before driving to the restaurant. HE BLEW UP AT ME and whined about how I'm so picky! I told him if it really mattered, I'd just order something, so we go in there, and he TELLS ME WHAT TO ORDER!

At that point, I got really upset and told him I want to go home. He told me that he NEEDS a woman who is going to try new foods. * * * ?~ I just wasn't in the mood for Mexican that night! Isn't that my right? He drove me home with rode rage, slamming on the breaks, and screeching away. I told him when he was driving to stop being so unsafe, and he sped up even more.

 

6. He complained that my hair was too long. While he USED to ONLY like long hair on women, he said I wasn't being versatile enough. He bragged that HE was very stylish and fashionable and knew better than I did, so if I didn't listen to his advice, it was because I didn't "trust" him. I got my hair cut the way he wanted and he kept telling me how to style it. Then he turned around and said I should be more indepdent...LOL

 

7. He used to ask me to proofread his college essays (I'm kind of an expert at academic writing)...but whenever I'd give him constructive feedback, he'd go through the roof and insult me! He told me I'm not even a very good writer and that he's more "cultured" than I am! What a slap in the face!

 

8. He treated my family like they were lower class and acted like his knew the right way to do everything. When his dad was insulting towards me, he defended him and said I should be more understanding!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The guy was clearly a crazed loon!!! Abnormality at its finest.

 

Reading your post was beginning to stress me out!

 

I just wouldn't miss all that drama. Jeez... life shouldn't be wasted on that kind of nonsense.

 

Think yourself lucky you never squeezed the toothpaste in the middle. LOL.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My ex used to put me down in a jokey way, im all for a laugh but yknow when it becomes where its mentioned FAR too often to just be a joke, often personal things like my hair has split ends or that i had bad teeth (my teeth are perfectly straight and always super clean!) stuff like that, veru mature hey?! The other thing he would do to death was the dissmissive thing, eg, i had psoriasis for 10 years until i went on medication 6 months ago which virtually cleared me of it, i hadnt wore a dress for 10 years cos my legs were always really bad, i went out and bought myself the best dress i could possibly find, i felt a million dollars- he never said a thing.......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To the OP - not so much commitment-phobe - just very, very controlling. I had a very short-lived relationship last year, which I left when I started getting really bad vibes about him. Every time we met he would criticise something I was doing/something I wasn't doing/tell me I should dress differently/be more materialistic/whatever. For me the classic was the way he continually told me I should get my long hair cut short 'Because it would give you style.'

 

Actually, I already have style - my style. My long hair is very much part of that. When I related this story to people who really know me, their response was (after the sharp intake of breath): 'How on earth did YOU end up with a bloke like that?'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey nutbrownhare,

 

That's what my ex said too---that my hair style wasn't a STYLE. I told him that, yes, it was a style...it was MY style...it may not have been "stylish" to HIM, but he wasn't the god of style. He disagreed and said I should just take it from him because he knows what he's talking about and I'm too naive.

 

 

 

 

To the OP - not so much commitment-phobe - just very, very controlling. I had a very short-lived relationship last year, which I left when I started getting really bad vibes about him. Every time we met he would criticise something I was doing/something I wasn't doing/tell me I should dress differently/be more materialistic/whatever. For me the classic was the way he continually told me I should get my long hair cut short 'Because it would give you style.'

 

Actually, I already have style - my style. My long hair is very much part of that. When I related this story to people who really know me, their response was (after the sharp intake of breath): 'How on earth did YOU end up with a bloke like that?'

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey nutbrownhare,

 

That's what my ex said too---that my hair style wasn't a STYLE. I told him that, yes, it was a style...it was MY style...it may not have been "stylish" to HIM, but he wasn't the god of style. He disagreed and said I should just take it from him because he knows what he's talking about and I'm too naive.

 

I'm amazed that you were able to listen to this **** without bursting out laughing ... were you? I found it interesting in the case of my ex because the main things he picked on were my weight (I'm very slim, and he kept telling me I ought to put on weight) and my long hair (which should have been short), both of which most guys find attractive!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On Valentines day I wanted to wear tight skinny jeans, my new heels and an off the shoulder bardot cashmere sweater which was just GORGEOUS! My ex freaked out after I told him what I wanted to wear and went through a dozen alternatives with me, (all involving a skirt), even asking me to wear combinations I didn't even own!

 

When I calmly but firmly told him not to tell me what to wear, he made out that it was just a suggestion, but that I should listen to him because "I know what suits you!"

 

I got out of the car, and really didn't feel like going out that night. Then he text me to say he was sorry for upsetting me, so I text back that I always look nice for him so what was his problem? He rang me and his first words were, "I wasn't telling you how to dress! You're overreacting!" So, not much of an apology. I wore my skinny jeans, high heels and cashmere sweater like I wanted to. He never commented on how I was dressed all night, but I could tell he thought he'd bullied me enough to wear what he instructed me to. Loser!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My ex:

 

1) Never called me or answered my calls whenever he was with his Mom, and/or his daughter, or eating.

 

2) Insisted me wearing some certain type of clothes that he likes. He once sent a picture of me saying that's how it looked if I didn't listen to him. I didn't found the picture as bad. Once we were out somewhere and my friends called us for dinner. I told him that my friends are casual so it's not a big deal. At the time he wore shorts and a T-shirt, and he insisted going to the mall to buy a shirt and a pair of jeans. Then we were late and once we were in the restaurant it's the most casual one ever. Shorts and T-shirt isn't bad at all.

 

3) He wasn't happy that I still talked to my ex as a friend and he said he never talked to his exes. Then he dumped me for his long gone ex because he started talking to her! Ironic, isn't it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

SIGNS OF A TOXIC BOSS | THERAPIST R...
SIGNS OF A TOXIC BOSS | THERAPIST REACTS TO RAISSA KENGNE

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...