Is this a normal way to end things?

[INeedHelpFast]

Sometimes I feel somewhat relieved from my rather "emotionally exhaustive" relationship, but then other times when I miss my ex gf I feel as though things didn't end properly. Here is what happened:

 

I broke up with her because I didn't feel like much of a priority in the relationship. We had broken up before, but out of love and hope I came crawling back. I would literally go crazy for the month during which we were broken up! But this time, I was calm and haven't made much contact in 2 months. After we broke up, she tried playing the "jealousy" card by putting up pictures and such with other guys. I ignored it. She also went around badmouthing and lying. I ignored it. I called her one day because I learned that she was hurt in an accident. She responded back using texts but from the tone of it she seemed mad, but then again had very quick responses. During that conversation, I asked if we could get some closure on the break up. She said, that she already got hers, but proceeded to give me reasons why she could not see me (working from this time to that time). It was a serious relationship, and I wonder sometimes if it is normal for it to end without "closure." The only thing I got from her was the response "it is what it is" and that "it wasnt the right time". Should I consider it a closed case? Is this a game girls play?

[waveseer]

I have learned to consider those kind a closed case mostly because I think people like that are stupid jerks that I wouldn't want back anyway.

[faithful14]

I don't think there is a clear definition of normal....some people will get closure when their relationships end and others don't. Unfortunately for those that don't, they just kind of accept the situation or find a way to give themselves closure.

[getting_on_ok]

I had to give myself closure. My ex told me she needed space and to call her when I was fixed. There's nothing wrong with me.

[Lonewing]

like..."snip snip," "fixed??"

 

Just kidding!

 

Anyhow, you're just going to have to close it yourself. You're broken up because one or both of you no longer cares about the other. As long as two people still care, there is hope and the relationship lives. Remember, if she was as heartbroken as you are about the end of this relationship, then you wouldn't be breaking up, now would you?

[INeedHelpFast]

like..."snip snip," "fixed??"

 

Just kidding!

 

Anyhow, you're just going to have to close it yourself. You're broken up because one or both of you no longer cares about the other. As long as two people still care, there is hope and the relationship lives. Remember, if she was as heartbroken as you are about the end of this relationship, then you wouldn't be breaking up, now would you?

 

How can you distinguish between hope and games? Is there a clear cut way?

[Lonewing]

It is hard, but I do believe the problem is in perception and in an inability to hear what the partner is saying and instead believeing what you WANT to hear. My GF said years ago we couldn't be together forever. But that is what I wanted, and it felt like it would, because we felt so wonderful together...

 

It really comes down to honesty - particularly you being honest with yourself. And watch HER body language when you go out. Is she kissing a lot of other guys or hugging up on them? You might consider a new girl quick, because her heart will be foreign to you soon enough. It starts with the physcial wandering, then the heart just goes right with it.