I don't know what to do anymore. Need desperately help!

[exback]

We were each others first boyfriend/girlfriend, first everything. Been together the last 4 years and had a fight about the stupid car 6 months ago after which he started ignoring me and never talked to me again - didn't even break up with me. After 5 weeks begging/pleading I accepted that THIS time it is meant to be a break up (even so he never officially broke up with me) and I stopped trying. Once during that 5 weeks I went to his room and he opened the door and let me in but ignored my "existence" for 7 hours playing games and watching tv and pretending I am not there - didn't answer my questions, not even whether or not we are still a couple. He often did the silent treatment for days/weeks during the relationship to punish me after a fight - so I didn't know for sure...

 

After that I had HORRIBLE months and tried not to contact him and went NC but broke NC once to tell him I miss him and apologizing (even so I don't know what he is angry about). I even went to see a therapist to get help. He started bad-mouthing me telling every person that I am stupid and that it is my fault he has problems at university, making fun of me that I tried to get him back by all means, that I was just talking * * * * all day long and so on. Friends told me about that... I didn't react to that and I hoped he would stop but he didn't and it got even worse: People I don't know approach me and say stuff like "Are you xy!? Your ex talks about you a lot. You come off badly!!!". Former friends started ignoring me and don't great me if they recognize me.

 

I did never ever cheat or lie or do anything like that... I don't know what he is telling them but it affects me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I sent an email asking him for a meeting since I needed to talk and I mentioned that I know what he is telling everyone about me...

 

He didn't react and again I got ignored....

 

I can't keep on living like that. I am afraid to leave my room and the idea of butting into some of his friends is killing me. I have nightmares... I lost 23 pounts during the last 6 months...

 

How to protect myself!? Calling him won't help- he wouldn't answer the phone. I am not even sure he reads my emails but nevertheless he keeps destroying my life.

[mrvaughn]

I iknow it's hard but you need to cut this person out of your life. He reeks of immaturity & seems to be a very spiteful person.

 

I would stop contacting him altogether & say nothing about him to anyone...unless they are the one to bring it up with you. You have to defend yourself without accusing him of anything more than being 'bitter' towards you. That's all you have to say...people will understand. They will see that he is being childish while you are rising above it.

 

He is a liar & obviously not to be trusted. Let him go...he's obviously a changed person from who you loved. There are guys out there that will show the respect you deserve. Be strong!

 

p.s. those former 'friends' weren't friends at all. If they never gave you a chance to explain your side of things then they aren't worth bothering about.

 

p.p.s If it gets really bad...the things he says about you...there are people at University that will help set up a meeting with yourself and him to iron it out as it could be viewed as harrasment. If you didn't want to do it face to face with him, a staff member could act as mediator...going back & forth till a resolution is found.

[SapphireNoir10]

Just ignore it. Ignore the rumours. Ignore him back. Stop contacting him, he doesnt want to talk he just wants to be childish and hurt you.

 

Who cares what these people think? Rise above it and stay strong. You can be ok, he really IS NOT worth your time.

[fragmint]

i agree with the other posters, just cut him out of your life completely. he always does this (silent treatment) and now hes spreading rumors about you that aren't true. hes acting like a child because he still is one.

 

if he ever starts talking to you again just ignore him and keep moving. he doesnt deserve your time anymore