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Is love different after leaving abusive partner?


iremember

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A while back, I was in an abusive relationship with a sociopath who had me completely head over heels. I'm completely over him now, but I'm definitely emotionally effected by what happened.

 

I currently have feelings for a friend. While the feelings are not nearly as strong as they were for my abusive ex, they are stronger than they have been for anyone else. I've always thought that if I ever fell in love again I would feel just like I did with my ex. But now I'm wondering if the relationship distorted my view on love and has made me expect too much to classify feelings as "love."

 

I'm seeking wisdom from anyone who's fallen in love after leaving an abusive partner. Did you at first have confusion over your feelings? Or was the feeling the same?

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That wasnt true, healthy love im sure. What did he give you this guy cannot? What did he add to your life? Abuse and heartache.

 

I was the same, after my ex I thought I'd never feel the same, I realised my feelings for him were more obsession and strong because I could never really 'have' him. With a new guy I found, it was a healthy, kind love and it grows in time and will surpass and be different I imagine, to what you have experienced in the past.

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That wasnt true, healthy love im sure. What did he give you this guy cannot? What did he add to your life? Abuse and heartache.
It's certainly true that he didn't add to my life, but I don't think that means I wasn't in love, it just means it was a bad relationship and he didn't love me. But now I'm wondering which aspects of my feelings were love and which were simply my response to his manipulation.
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Exactly. Healthy love might not be as intense, as in, not as much drama/game playings/manipulation. And yes you might have loved him but was it the kinda love that made YOU happy too>?

 

You will love again. I know how much your probably hurting/hurt and its a big step to trust or be with anyone again.

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yes you will love again and you know what dont hold back when you love.. be yourself when loving someone.. it wont be fair to the other partner. its not that it affects you way of love it just some how gave you experience and what to look out for the next time.

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People can't help who they fall in love with. Whether you fall in love with a jerk or a saint. You fell in love with the jerk b/c he ate peppermint like your father and the saint because he picked a flower for you once just like your best friend used to do. You can fall in love again.

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