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the i need time to think speech


jony1234

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hello again.. i am back again..

 

was with my gf for 2 years... things was not going real great.. i am kinda boring guy... not alot of friends.. we did stuff once in awhile like movie or beach..well watched alot of movies at home.. but not theathre very ofetn.... but not very often.. she works alot and i worked shift work... i let her go to her girlfriends whenever she asked... i never made her stay home... we never really had any mutual friends... i probably should a got to know her friends but i never did... thats the bad... she lived with me for over a year.. we seen each other for almost a year before that...

 

so she gave me the i need time to think.. few days at her grand mothers or friends... she never took much stuff with her.. just enough to get by for few days.. i was alittle upset.. but i agreed.. and said do what makes you happy... she cried... she claims she still does love me and kissed me before she left which i thought was weird.. and still calls me...

 

i am not going to call her.. if she calls i will answer for now...

 

i pretty much know what everyone will say... but just thought i get it off my chest.. any thoughts are welcomed...

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Time to think isn't necessarily a death sentence for a relationship. Just be supportive of her and patient with her (sounds like you have been). What was the real reason she wanted time to think? Was it because of the things you mentioned, or was it something more serious?

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she said she wasnt real happy lately....which we talked about before... i told her from the get go i wasnt the funnest guy in the world... we went on one trip in 2 years... she said she dunno if we want the same things anymore... we are still young i am 25 and shes 24... she claims i am such a good person she dunno if she can break up with me... her last bf was real a$$ wouldnt let her do anything...

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well my only mistake was getting all teary eyed... which i cant help... thinking about things even when everything is fine i sometimes tear up a bit.. dunno if somthing is wrong with me or what... i told her i am upset but dont feel bad for me and come back because you feel guilty.. i said i want you to be happy not to stay with me just to make me happy.. we had a long talk... she is one of th nicest girls i met... good old fashion type of girl and kinda mad i messed things up... i never learned much from my last relationship...

 

this girl was so into me first... almost scared me... and in the end i started taking her for granted... i wish i would have tryed harder...

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i am hard on myself.. having a hard job to eat... which sucks.. becusee i am into working out.. trying to gain muscle.. i am a skinny guy... when my last gf dumped me i starting working out hardcore... i went from 140-180 6'1... before all this happened i was 175.. i bet i am 165 now... i know i will come around eventually...

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i am shy person... usualy once i get out and around ppl i have a great time... and happy..

 

now when i am single i am forced to venture out... and at first me and her did a bit together.. i took her to some partys.. which after awhile she never wanted to go because of my buddies gf and her didnt get along...

 

another couple we hanged out alot.. broke up... so we never seen them anymore...

 

things got boring... and she warned me before.. then i take her out to movies or beach.. and that would be it for awhile..

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she said she doesnt want to change me...

 

she asked if i wanted her to call me.. i said if you want to call.. i said if i want to answer i will answer..

 

she told me yesterday morning... i kinda knew something was up and asked her... she worked 12 hrs yesterdy and called 3 times...

 

this morning before she goes to work.. she was just about to leave and said i really do love you.. i just want time to think ....and hugged and kissed me

 

i already told her if she just doing this to make things easier.. its not fair to me... i said if u really want to think about everything thast fine... just dont screw me around if you already know the answer...

 

 

shes probly soon off work... if she does call what should i do? answer or no...

 

so far i have answered her calls... i did spend most of day with my brother and his friend.. they was working on his car i felt like crap all day from not eating...

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i told her i try to work things out... its in her court now...

 

my brother told me he would have just told her to pack her bags and leave there... i thought about..just couldnt do it... did that to my last gf.. but i figured she was defiantly with some other guy... not sure about this one... usually they dont leave unless they like someone else... if thats the case shes being very cruel to me.. leavening me hanging

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I know what you are going through. I went through this about 3 months ago. Unfortunately it didnt work out.She wanted a break, she text me saying she missed me. She came back but couldnt be persuaded to work things out.

 

Maybe you should not answer some of her calls. maybe that will make her realise she misses you if she thinks she is losing you. All you can do is sit tight and think of how you can fix yourside of the relationship and if anything has been bothering you.

 

Best of luck.When she comes back to talk. dont jump in until you hear what she has to say. Lay your cards on the table and if it is bad news then let her go and dont try to beg or hassle her. Think of what you want to say in if it is good or bad news.

 

Give her all the space she needs and if it is a few weeks then start to think of how you are going to move on. But dont contact her with an answer. If she comes back it has to be her decision

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well i never talked to her tonight..she never called... i went out town and hanged out with old friends.. i never told them anything .. they asked if she was working today i just said yea... i was gone for most of the day today..

 

yes i could go out with her more if she wants to get back together... i am pretty sure its over... worst thing is all her stuff is at my house.. so she will be back again to move out or whatever...

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Give her some time to think about things. She probably needs more than a few days, she may even need a few weeks.

 

It sounds like you grew complacent in the relationship and she may have gotten bored. She probably is not bored of you, just the relationship. You will hear from her. When she has had time to think and if she expresses her feeling to continue things, maybe try some new things with her besides sitting home watching movies. Not only will she like it but you probably will as well. I'm not saying to change yourself but maybe change things up in the relationship.

 

In the meantime, keep busy. Hang out with your friends, work on the car with your brother. Try to keep your mind from wandering toward the negative feelings this is bringing you.

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i was surprised to get home and see she never called today.. i never waited for her to call and i am glad i never... i got to catch up with some old friends..

 

i agree she got bored... as i cant blame her for that.. we got along good but there wasnt much else really going on... alot of her working and me working... and then home time... i would go fourwheeling with my brother and his buddies and she would go to her girlfriends sometimes.. we did do things once in awhile but not as often as i am sure she would like...

 

this may be my biggest regret because she was a very nice girl...

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Sounds like you need to work on getting some outside hobbies, not just for your relationship, but for yourself. It will probably improve things all around.

 

What would you like to try? Anything you would be willing to do with your gf? Think closely about these things because maybe your gf wants more out of life than you are willing to provide.

 

Can you guys start walking in the woods together every Saturday evening? Going to brunch on Sunday mornings? Have a picnic in the park and prepare the food together?

 

Think of some things that might spice up the relationship. Also, any sport you might want to try out? You guys could look on the internet for some activities near your house and just try them out.

 

If I were you, I'd be making a list of things to try/change right now so that when your gf comes back, she is surprised.

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the walking thing sounds cool theres a nice trail around here i took her once too.. right now my hobbies are 4wheeler and gym... i take her out on 4 wheeler once in awhile but i dont keep them at my house or we could do it more often.. and i think the one she uses my brother is getting rid of... there not 4x4 that 2 ppl can ride on at same time...

 

i am almost 100% sure its over.. she stopped calling since she left the other morning.. i never went this long without her calling me... i wont call her...

 

i am very hurt right now.. i keep hoping things work out.. but i have my doubts about it ...

 

she will have to return on weekend one way or another and that gonna be hard if she wants to leave for good..

 

i really just want to see her and hug her .. but i know i can not contact her...

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ok on 3rd day of NC... she finally calls... from her work so she coulnt talk long(25mins)... we talked about normal stuff at first.. she asked if i got the job i was trying to get .. i said no... i literaly just got the letter few mins before she called.. i told her i was hanging out with some friends and cleaning house up...

 

she bring up the relationship stuff next thing.. i was calm and cool..she said she stayed at her grandmas and her girlfriends house the 2 nights she also said she woulda called yesterday but she didnt know if it make me more upset...i said i needed to work on things if we ever got back together.. she said she wasnt trying to change me.. i said i am going to half to if i ever want a real relationship .. she said i do miss you.. but she still wants some time... i said dont string me along if you know the answer.. she said she would have broken up with me already if she knew thats what she wanted.. i said u know how i feel and if u want time take it.. i said ur too nice of a girl to just end it now... i told her if she wanted to work thing out that be great if she wanted to break i up i would understand

 

so she had to go back to work... she said have a good day i will call you tomro.. she said i miss you.. i said i miss you too.. .she said well i really gotta go.. i said ok...then there was alittle bit of silince.. she never said anything niehter did I... then she says i do love you still.. i said i love you too have a good day ..

 

I dunno she seem sincer... i have some hope now.. just hopefuly it works out...

 

kinda sucks i never got that job..so close to home and good pay... maybe back to school next year if government will pay.. as i got a mortgage

 

anyones thoughts will be greatly aprecaited

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