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what to do, what to do???


sweetgirl141

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Ive been seeing this guy since about the middle to end of april. Everyone says how we look sooooo cute together and that we are "soulmates" (lol) and blah blah. The problem is, we fight. And the ONLY time we fight is when he is really drunk and does something that he doesnt remember in the morning. For instance....ive been in abusive relationships before and have had guys say very disrespectful things to me....and my guy now will get drunk and be like "F you" or "shut the F up". He tells me hes just joking around but ive expressed my dislike for even joking with those comments and it still happens.

 

The incident that made me end it all was last night. All day we spent the day together, just me and him...... and his friend. I guess I didnt really mind the friend since it was the friends birthday but I have been bothered lately about the lack of quality time we have spent together. We went and saw GI Joe and they drank a 5th of crown royal. Then we went back to his house and had sex. He got his and I didnt get mine so he told me he would take care of that later. I then went home and got ready to go out for the friends birthday.

 

When I got back to my guys place he was already drunk. We go out and were having a good time until i saw my guy sporting the drunk sway. I went up to him and asked him if we were even going to be able to have sex tonight (if he drinks too much he has a problem keeping it up) and he goes "uh, probably not". Im like ok??? Then i turn around and fill drink fly in my hair and down the back of my back and dress. Apparently my guys friend was so drunk that he threw a drink at my guy which got all in my hair, etc. I wanted to leave since my hair was all sticky and my guy was like no, its my boys birthday. So i left by myself. And I texted him and told him i was done.

 

The thing is, i think we really are a good match together and I like him alot and I have no doubt he likes me but Im tired of arguing because of alcohol. And then "uh probably not" comment about us having sex really hurt me because I feel like if you are in a relationship you need to take care of each other, and that means sexually too. My friends tell me to talk to him but I think he should come to me.

 

What should I do???

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you seem to be more worried about the sex vs. the drinking aspect. if he is regularly getting so drunk that he can't remember what he says to you and he is being mean to you and cursing at you, i think that's a really bad red flag, not the sign of a guy you want to date. i think that the drinking issue is the #1 issue here.

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you seem to be more worried about the sex vs. the drinking aspect. if he is regularly getting so drunk that he can't remember what he says to you and he is being mean to you and cursing at you, i think that's a really bad red flag, not the sign of a guy you want to date. i think that the drinking issue is the #1 issue here.

 

I didnt mean to come accross as the sex being a bigger issue. The drinking is a MUCH bigger issue.

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I don't know from personal experience, but have known others who were with SO's that drank too much. Each time the drunkard would have some sort of drunk fit and then claim they'd calm the drinking down. That would only last a few weeks or months.

 

Now I'm not saying that people can't join AA and change their behaviors, but it's more difficult for them to see the light of day if they have someone who keeps tolerating their slip-ups. Sounds like your bf(exbf?) needs to asses what is really important in life.

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