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Me and my gf have been together over a year now, and I'm still madly in love with her. The trouble is, I miss men, and it's driving me insane. I can't get guys out of my head and it's driving me crazy.

 

I'm completely bisexual, I'm more emotionally attracted to women but find myself sexually attracted to men, so you can see my problem. The sex me and my girlfriend have is amazing, it's fun different and interesting... and it's really infuriating me that I still want to have sex with men.

 

I'd never cheat on her, she means to much to me, and I that being with a guy is a sacrifice I made when I entered a relationship with her. But I feel so annoyed with myself when I fantasize about being with a guy, and I feel so giulty about it, because it's like I'm prettymuch thinking she isn't enough for me...

 

I just needed to vent that... I hate feeling like I'm betraying her when I fantasize about being with a guy, and I wish I could just stop... but I don't know how.

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I was in a relationship with a woman for a little over 3 years and I missed men ALOT. Our relationship deterioriated and eventually we ended up cheating on each other, her with another woman, me with a couple of guys (over a period of months).

 

I have learned over the years that I am bisexual, but I prefer men. I love being with women, but I am MUCH pickier regarding the women that I want to be with. On a sexual note, I crave the "full" feeling of being with a man and for me, nothing replaces the bond of him being inside me. I really missed it, and that whole relationship taught me that I am happiest being with a man.

 

I know what you are feeling. I went through it too. Is she bi, too? can you talk to her about this and maybe try a threesome? My ex gf refused to ever be with a man, so that was out for us.

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I somehow doubt the OP fantasizes about women, it is being with a guy that she misses. I don't think we are talking about ordinary harmless fantasies, I think the OP is feeling she is missing out on not being with a guy big time, and that is a problem. I don't doubt she really likes her gf and she thinks the world of her which makes this all the more difficult.

 

The only thing I can think of that may help is to look at these fantasies like drug addiction and treat it accordingly. Stop doing the thing associated with these fantasies for example going online to particular sites etc. Occupy your mind with other things.

 

I wish you the best of luck

 

(I had to edit the posting because I thought the OP was a guy, but other than changing a few pronouns the same really applies.)

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I somehow doubt the OP fantasizes about women, it is being with a guy that she misses. I don't think we are talking about ordinary harmless fantasies, I think the OP is feeling she is missing out on not being with a guy big time, and that is a problem. I don't doubt she really likes his gf and he thinks the world of her which makes this all the more difficult.

 

Not necessarily. I was with a girl, and there were times when I missed being with a guy. If I was with a guy, there would probably be things that I missed about being with a woman. Everybody wants what they don't have. It's human nature. It's the same feeling as being in a relationship and missing being single.

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For the women I know who are bisexual to the extent that they feel they are equally attracted to men and women, it is very difficult for them to be fulfilled in a relationship. For those who are monogamous, they are able to remain committed, but they do crave being with the other sex. It's not that they're attacted to either one or the other--they truly need qualities of BOTH men and women in their relationships to be happy. Some fantasies are to be expected, but I think it could be more than that for some people.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I am a hetero woman in a relationship with a Bi Man. I am completely in love with him and came into this relationship with full disclosure. We recently had a discussion about fantasies. I explained I thought it was normal for men to fantasize during oral sex. So being me...of course I asked who he was fantasizing about. He said it was a boy I know from the bar we frequent. My initial reaction was anger but not because it was a boy but because it wasn't some boy he saw at the grocery store...some ananymous nobody would have been easier. In the end I have no reason to be angered by my honest, loving, faithful partner. He is who he is, it's up to me to love him for who he is. I get insecure from time to time, we have so many gay friends that are so adorable and fun but he reassures me that he chooses me. I'm not asking him to do anything about his sexuality, I'm asking him to build a loving, trusting life with me. If it means that he fantasizes about men when he's with me sometimes then I see it as a small sacrifice if he stays true to me and our life together.

 

Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend about it. If you want to stay with her long term maybe all the cards should be on the table...as in any relationship.

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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