Jump to content

Ask men thread


Bad Wolf

Recommended Posts

I hope no one posted this question before.

 

I am wondering how long men feel comfortable staying at the stage of ambiguity? Also, if you men want to move forward, how do you guys do it?

Besides, if it's the women make the first move, how do you think of it?

 

 

The sooner the ambiguity is over, the better. The longer you keep the ambiguity out after you get to the point of resolving the ambiguity, the better again. There is nothing ambiguity about my commitment and nothing in my life that ambiguity is going to solve.

 

 

How much you mind if a woman doesn't really know how to make certain dishes, esp. the elaborate food plus doesn't like cooking that much (is lazy)? I just know how to do the basics (rice, frying, bowling things)... but I can survive if was left home alone for weeks... but nothing comparing to both my mother and grandmother....LOL

Not that I never care to learn but I don't like the kitchen, let's call it laziness.... nothing than writing here, reading articles online and playing checkers when all of the sudden mother comes, telling us it's all ready.... Nothing funner than your food being ready, not you doing it...

 

Fist off, I highly prize those who try over those who don;t I perfer those who do over those who don't. There may be nothing funner that your food being ready and you not doing it, but I view that as a childish attitude - you're an adult now, and if you're the half of the relationship that spends less time working, you had better be making up the difference else where. I have no time for a princess brat.

 

Now if yo can afford to eat out all the time, or hire a maid, a butler and a cook, fine, we'll have a maid, a butler and a cook!!!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 1.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Is there a point in time when a guy will back off from a woman he's casually getting to know -- just to see what she does? In other words, for a guy who has been initiating contact, will he back off to see if the woman is interested enough to initiate?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Is there a point in time when a guy will back off from a woman he's casually getting to know -- just to see what she does? In other words, for a guy who has been initiating contact, will he back off to see if the woman is interested enough to initiate?

 

If he's an idiot he might.

 

But seriously, no, I personally would never do that. I despise mind games - from men or from women.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Is there a point in time when a guy will back off from a woman he's casually getting to know -- just to see what she does? In other words, for a guy who has been initiating contact, will he back off to see if the woman is interested enough to initiate?

 

I do that. If the women doesn't start initiating contact as well, I assume disinterest and move on.

Link to post
Share on other sites
A couple people have said there should be an Ask men thread so here it is!

 

Ask any questions ya like girls

 

Interesting thread...we should also have a Ask Woman Thread. Anyways...here the qns..

 

 

Some guys have a lot of female friends, do guys think about having sex with their female friends even thou the relationship is quite platonic??

 

on what occasions, you remember you ex ?

 

What do you think of the women that take initiatives in the bed?

 

thanking in advance

Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, question: I'm wondering if I'm overreacting here.

 

Long story short - I have a really good guy friend. He seemed to always have a thing for me (known him for like 15 years), but I was never single so he never did anything about it.

 

Two weeks ago, he comes out to my parent's house for a bonfire, ends up kissing me. Makeout session #1. Doesn't call, no text, nothing. Last weekend - birthday party for one of our mutual friends. He doesn't make it to the picnic, but shows up at the bar we're all at afterwards. Basically ignores me all night, except for the couple times we were talking to the same people and then he would just rub my back. I figure, okay, maybe that's just his way of acknowledging me. End of the night, makeout session #2 - VERY hot and heavy in his car. AND he's telling me "do you have any idea how long I've waited to do this, etc..."

 

I try to arrange for us to hang out again, he's busy all weekend. I can't get ahold of him, he's completely ignoring me again. All I want his for him to be honest. If it didn't mean anything to him and it's just something that happened, just tell me.

 

So at this point, I've said eff it. I'm hurt, more because I feel like I've lost a friend. I deleted his phone number from my cell, basically gotten rid of any trace of him besides facebook.

 

Am I overreacting, or did he seriously just treat me like some skank he met in the bar? I feel like fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Guys, if you did that to a good friend of yours, would you have a pair enough to tell her that you're not interested? And if you are, why in the HELL would you ignore her?!

 

I've gone past sadness and into anger, in case you haven't noticed.

Link to post
Share on other sites

If he's a really good guy friend, wouldn't it be easier to just ask him for clarification? Sure, it might be uncomfortable, but only for a moment - and for my money it would certainly beat wondering and wondering...

 

It's hard to say why he would be behaving this way. He could be interested in you only for sex, OR he might be socially inept and unaware of the impression he's giving off. As I said, if you're already really close with him, it bears some discussion. Certainly I would have suggested you at least try that before deleting every bit of contact information you have in a fit of (however justified) pique.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I already tried. I sent him text messages, IMs, and called and left voicemail. So trust me, I've tried. I guess I just feel at this point that he's made his feelings very clear...and if he IS interested, then he's got a funny way of showing it.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Fair enough - I agree. For one reason or another, he's obviously making himself emotionally unavailable to you. Seen in that light, does it even matter what the "why" might be? I would suggest that his unavailability is in itself all you need to know...

 

In short, your "eff it" response might be the wisest one.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, that's kind of what my gut was telling me....and as we all know, your "gut feelings" are almost never wrong. Oh well.

 

I just feel like my heart has been ripped out....someone who was supposed to be one of my great friends just treated me like absolute garbage. He should have known me well enough to know that he could have been completely honest with me, no matter what. Yes, I would have been upset if he didn't feel the same way as I did - but at least I'd still have my friend right now.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 1 month later...
Interesting thread...we should also have a Ask Woman Thread. Anyways...here the qns..

 

 

Some guys have a lot of female friends, do guys think about having sex with their female friends even thou the relationship is quite platonic??

 

on what occasions, you remember you ex ?

 

What do you think of the women that take initiatives in the bed?

 

thanking in advance

 

Yes. Well, I do anyway lol. If they are attractive then I guess it's always in the back of your mind, whether or not you'd act on it given the opportunity.

 

Next question completely depends on the ex, how long together, how long ago, what feelings, what you guys did together, whether certain things had significance between only you etc. etc. Too many variables. But remembering an ex and daydreaming or reminiscing is different.

 

And the third question, awesome. Simple.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Do shy guys (or guys in general) think through different conversations they could have with a girl or have different conversations prepared for different situations before they actually talk to her?

 

And, are shy guys (or once again, guys in general) intimidated/afraid to initiate contact or talk to outgoing girls, or girls that are smiling a lot and talkative and friendly to everyone?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Do shy guys (or guys in general) think through different conversations they could have with a girl or have different conversations prepared for different situations before they actually talk to her?

 

And, are shy guys (or once again, guys in general) intimidated/afraid to initiate contact or talk to outgoing girls, or girls that are smiling a lot and talkative and friendly to everyone?

 

Personally, I used to just be a deer in headlights when trying to talk to girls and my mind would be totally blank. I had no clue what to say. I had no plan. Also, even if I would work out something to say it would just come out horribly anyhow. I'd be stumbling over my words and just feel silly. I have learned that if I get into a conversation with a girl to just talk of things that my friends and I have already talked about. Maybe something funny happened to me and it got laughs from a number of friends I may talk about that. But there are just safer more consistent things to talk of I suppose. Personally though I have zero plan. I may say some old joke that I know but she doesn't just to keep things lively.

 

I never thought it was any more difficult to talk to someone that is outgoing. In fact, it's easier. I think where intimidation may come in is that someone super outgoing could be seen as someone that can find good conversation and may leave if I was boring. I think that is where intimidation may come into play.

 

I think where I may have been intimidated was just with the initial conversation and approaching someone. First impression means everything. Knowing that, it feels like it's life or death. It just seems I'd have to walk up and say the most incredibly charming thing the person has ever heard. Knowing that I don't have that in my arsenal, I'd just not even bother. You don't have to just get along, you have to stand out and be very memorable and cause this attraction. That seems like so much to try to create with a "hello". Attractive girls get approached daily. They may get asked for their number or simply asked out numerous times a day. I've yet to have either happen to me with a stranger. So knowing that there is so much competition out there, you really feel that you must be perfect if you even bother to approach someone. It's just simpler to not deal with the anxiety.

Link to post
Share on other sites
SO guys! why does it seem in some relationships the women do all the work? and what annoys you about a girl?

 

The women will only do all the work if they hold the man that they're with to low standards and enable him to continue behaving that way. If you expect a man to meet you half way and you set that as a standard, you will be amazed at how many men will back away due to them not wanting to put in the effort -- but at the same time the ones who do stick around will probably be the types you can get serious with.

 

What annoys me? Arrogance. A belief that being pretty entitles you to anything annoys me. Princesses. Women who have no knowledge of what is going on in the world and instead dive into pointless BS like which celebrity is doing what and what so and so on the hills has to say about whoever.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Do y'all prefer blonde, brunette, or redhead? Short, medium, or long hair? Curly or straight? Up or down?

 

...sorry, I guess that's a lot of questions lol I'm just curious. I'm sure I know the most common answer I'll get (brunette, long, straight, down), but I'd like to hear lots of views.

 

Brunette, Long, up or down. It depends on her neck line.

Link to post
Share on other sites

So, what does it mean when a man makes a tentative date for the next day and then never calls to firm up or cancel? Since I've never met him I have nothing invested, however, isn't that rude? Or should I just assume he had a family/work/personal crisis? What is the most likely reason?

Link to post
Share on other sites
So, what does it mean when a man makes a tentative date for the next day and then never calls to firm up or cancel? Since I've never met him I have nothing invested, however, isn't that rude? Or should I just assume he had a family/work/personal crisis? What is the most likely reason?

 

It's hard to say what it might mean, but I don't think that leaving you in the lurch is either polite or gentlemanly. It doesn't take much effort, after all, to give someone a quick call to let them know if/how/why a plan might have changed. It's just common courtesy, really. So while the reason for the lack of follow through might be difficult to guess, I can't say that the lack of thoughtfulness signals a particularly interested, courteous, or considerate mind. There may of course be some kind of extenuating circumstance - but generally speaking, a quick call isn't that difficult. I think it's important to watch for a pattern of behaviour, however, rather than making too much of one given, isolated scenario. So I wouldn't be overly put off by this event unless you start seeing an encore presentation down the road.

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's hard to say what it might mean, but I don't think that leaving you in the lurch is either polite or gentlemanly. It doesn't take much effort, after all, to give someone a quick call to let them know if/how/why a plan might have changed. It's just common courtesy, really. So while the reason for the lack of follow through might be difficult to guess, I can't say that the lack of thoughtfulness signals a particularly interested, courteous, or considerate mind. There may of course be some kind of extenuating circumstance - but generally speaking, a quick call isn't that difficult. I think it's important to watch for a pattern of behaviour, however, rather than making too much of one given, isolated scenario. So I wouldn't be overly put off by this event unless you start seeing an encore presentation down the road.

 

I was just curious, since there isn't likely to be a "down the road". I might find it amusing to hear what he says if he ever does contact me again.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Do y'all prefer blonde, brunette, or redhead? Short, medium, or long hair? Curly or straight? Up or down?

 

...sorry, I guess that's a lot of questions lol I'm just curious. I'm sure I know the most common answer I'll get (brunette, long, straight, down), but I'd like to hear lots of views.

 

Black hair, can be curly or not, prefer long but at least shoulder length.

I'm mostly into desi (indian) girls anyway.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...