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Almost wish I didnt meet up with the ex...


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We broke up beginning of June. Over something really stupid.... Went NC pretty much right away...

 

About 4 weeks ago I texted her about some of her things because I was moving... Instead of dropping them off to her sister she wanted to pick them up... Since that moment, things have been all over the place... She cried right when she showed up. I got phone calls for the next few days. Then she told me she went on a few dates and I told her since she was seeing someone we were done and that it would be in our best interest not to contact one another. She accepted.

 

2 weeks later, couple weeks ago, she called crying wanting to meet up. I met up with her and she told me she broke it off because she was still in love with me and we shouldn't have broken up... THat she misses and loves me, 90% of her wants to be with me, 10% is too scared and she doesn't want the relationship to fail again. I told her I couldn't settle for 90%, etc. That I loved her and wanted to be with her but she is too consumed with making her family happy and isnt focusing on herself.. That she needs to figure out what she wants and whats going to make her happy...

 

It was a good meeting... It seemed like she wanted to get back together but was still confused and fearful of the relationship breaking again...

 

Since that meeting, I can't stop being bugged by the situation... Its been frustrating me because it seems like it is completely up in the air. Like there is no answer.. What is completely messing with my head is that I bought tickets for the 2 of us to a concert coming up this weekend. They were bought about 7 months ago for our anniversary and extremely hard to get... I half asked a buddy to go with me, but I have this fear that I am going to hear from her. At the same time I have a fear that I won't....

 

I guess I really dont understand why she would contact me, meet with me, tell me she wants to be with me, loves me, etc... Then kinda disappears again for the last 2 weeks...

 

I truly love this girl and we really had a great relationship. She has some issues with insecurities and family pressure.... I have had 4 long term relationships, 3 yrs,2yrs,5yrs,2yrs, 1 I was engaged to, ... At the end I truly felt like they ran its course... This one I cant seem to feel the same way...

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I have a similar situation. The girl I dated last summer has been seeing someone for a while now, yet still contacts me every now and again and talks about memories and wishes we could still hang out. She gave into family pressure about breaking up with an ex and dating me soon after.

 

Solid no-contact (I know it sounds so overused and cliched) will calm those feelings of everything being hazy and up in the air. It worked like a champ for me.

 

I would still go to the concert. Take a buddy of yours or even another girl and have a blast. You said they were hard to get, so I would take full advantage. Or if there's going to be too much to handle with it being your anniversary and all, put them on stubhub or e-bay.

 

Kudos to wanting 100 percent from her. That is spot on. Take some time to cool off and clear your head. She is seeing someone else now, which kind of puts you on the back burner.

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Thats the thing, she isn't seeing anyone else.. She went out and dated someone for a few weeks because it's what her family wanted her to do. Because he was soo involved in their church.(Her family is very involved in their church) She said she never did anything physical with him and doesn't want to do anything with anyone else. That she tried going on dates with him but all it caused her to do was miss me more..

 

Its confusing and up in the air because she kept telling me she is unhappy without me, misses me, loves me, but is struggling with confusion and worried about jumping back into the relationship because she doesn't want to fail at it...

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Then maybe you should give her time to sort out her feelings. Give her a lot of space. Make her truly miss you. Take yourself completely out of her life for a while. Let her know that you want her to figure things out. Tell her you still love her but she needs to make her own decisions. Family is important and their advice should be noted, but she needs to make the call for herself and not to please mom or dad.

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I'm sorry to hear that!

 

I've always said, either the person wants to be with you or they don't! Forget the crap that they throw around..."I don't know"..."I'm not sure"

 

It sounds like she is being this way with you. Just my opinion. Some girls (but NOT all) actually like knowing that a guy is hung up on them. I hope she isn't that type.

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Its kind of the opposite... She is the one telling me that she is hung up on me... I pretty much told her that she needs to figure all her stuff out, what will make her happy and contact me then.. I told her I loved her and that I care about her and would love to try again, but I am too old to be caught in limbo. That I will continue to move on.

 

I am her first serious relationship. The only person she has ever loved... She has dated alot before but never stayed with anyone for more than a few months. We were together over a year and a half..

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Its kind of the opposite... She is the one telling me that she is hung up on me... I pretty much told her that she needs to figure all her stuff out, what will make her happy and contact me then.. I told her I loved her and that I care about her and would love to try again, but I am too old to be caught in limbo. That I will continue to move on.

 

I am her first serious relationship. The only person she has ever loved... She has dated alot before but never stayed with anyone for more than a few months. We were together over a year and a half..

 

I think then at this point you are doing what is best for you, which is really important. I know how you feel. I dated my last ex for over a year and it was his first serious relationship too. He treated me like crap though. And you are right, you are too old to be playing games and waiting around for her.

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