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Hey I’m Rachel I’m new to the site! I decided that my friends aren’t really that great on giving advice so I figured I would find some people who might have had similar situations.

 

well I dated this guy for a year and 9 months and he broke up with me. (the reason is irrelevant to anything I’m about to write.) Before he broke up with me we started hanging out with his friends more and more. I started to notice his friend Steve and decided that he was a sweet heart and his girlfriend was stupid for breaking up with him. So I would see Steve with friends all the time. 2 days b4 my boyfriend broke up with me he told me that he kind of has feelings for me. then the next day we hung out and I told him that I have feelings for him 2 but I wont leave my current boyfriend for him because its not right. then, the next day my boyfriend broke up with me. and for some reason I wasn’t phased. and I think it was because I had established a crush on Steve. so time goes by and me and Steve start hanging out every day for the last 2 weeks. it went from, I like you a lot, send me pics of you, text me all the time, I miss you all the time, holding my hand, being close, and he even introduced me to all his relatives that were visiting. now its down to a bare minimum. within 2 weeks. what gives? like ill tell him I miss him along with something else and he will only reply to the something else. he doesn’t say I miss you anymore. I mean he still show signs that he cares, He offered to help me with my math work when school starts, but its still not like it was.. maybe he likes someone else. because he started being weird after I got back from vacation... maybe he met someone else????

 

why would he bring me around his family a few times and bring me for rides on his motorcycle and spend all this time with me and then just almost stop???

and when I asked him what was wrong he said we will talk.

 

I don’t understand this!?

opinions/ comments? anything? If you have any questions about anything I wasn’t specific about feel free to ask. I was trying to keep it short.

 

Thanks, Rachel

 

P.s i will keep filling you in as things happen!

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Hi Rachel.

 

It's hard for me to say what might be going through his head, but one thing that I can tell from what you said is that he has no problem with cheating on people he is dating. He told you he had feelings for you while you were dating another guy which could mean that he would do the same to you if he was given the opportunity by another girl.

 

If he stopped being so affectionate all of a sudden then he might have found someone else or he may have just lost interest. Some people just like "the chase". We all enjoy those first few months of dating because everything is new and exciting. Some people only like dating for the short-term adrenaline rush it provides, then they go back to being bored with their life.

 

For your sake, I hope this isn't the case but it's definitely a possibility.

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Thank you for the welcome guys! I hope its not the case. i asked hiim what the deal was and he said he was stressed. but from what i could see, he really has nothing to be stressed over. unless theres something there. then i asked him if there was anything wrong with us and he said we will talk.

 

I dont think he is the type of guy that would jump from person to person.

 

 

and as for the guy rule. my X is being annoying. and hes not really good at keeping in ouch with his friends. so i think that one might be ruled out.. I mean me and steve never cheated. and they hardly talk. so i dont think that would be it. thanks for the suggestion tho.

 

im not going to text him tonight and ill wait and see if he texts me.

yesterday i asked him if he wants me to leave him alone and he said noooo he loves the fast that i always want to hang out. but then this morning he didnt make an effort to talk to me. i had to send him a message.... hummmm....... weird or what?

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Hey Rachel, and welcome!

 

So you broke up with your boyfriend and started pretty seriously dating Steve soon after. How soon after? If you started dating Steve pretty soon after breaking up, Steve might think he's your rebound guy. He might be taking a step back to reassess the relationship. If there were a few weeks between breaking up with your old boyfriend and starting dating Steve when you got over your old boyfriend, then he's probably not your rebound guy.

 

Also, any of the things the others here have said could be true. He might have found someone else. He might just like the chase. The man rule might have kicked in. Definitely need more info to tell for sure.

 

In any case, I would say to take this time to really think about your dating situation. Is Steve your rebound guy? What kind of guy is Steve? For your sake, I really hope that Steve is a great guy and the relationship is genuine!

 

Oops. Well you can probably ignore all that I wrote above this! Except the welcome!

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im not going to text him tonight and ill wait and see if he texts me.

yesterday i asked him if he wants me to leave him alone and he said noooo he loves the fast that i always want to hang out. but then this morning he didnt make an effort to talk to me. i had to send him a message.... hummmm....... weird or what?

 

I think that's a good idea. Slow down a little and make him come to you. If he really likes being with you then he will make more of an effort.

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no no no!! my boyfriend broke up with me because of something totally errelevant to this situation. and i never started dating steve. you know when you first meet someone and your kind of seeing eachother but not yet dating. its like that. lol its ok. Im loving the imput so far!! thank you! and no i dont believe hes my rebound guy.

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i would definitely give him some space because if he is pulling away the worst you can do is pull him in more..wait for him to initiate hanging out or calling or texting..you should just get busy and take him off your mind for a few days and see what hes doing to get your attention that should give you a better perspective on where hes at

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i would definitely give him some space because if he is pulling away the worst you can do is pull him in more..wait for him to initiate hanging out or calling or texting..you should just get busy and take him off your mind for a few days and see what hes doing to get your attention that should give you a better perspective on where hes at

 

 

what if he wants me to get his attention??

 

personally i think hes in a toss up between me and someone else!

and if thats the case then forget it because when that happens the guy always picks the other girl!

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ok well last night i went to his house. he invited me over to watch a movie. well before we watched the move we were watching a tv show. during the whole show he was texting constantly... once the movie started he was holding my hand. poking me tickeling me. resting his head on my legs. just flirting and the whole 9 yards. then when i left it was like it was b4. please drive safe text me tomorrow. some kisses and talking for like 10 mins and that was it.

 

now today my friend who added him on facebook said his status said "she f***ed him..."

and i was like hummm.. well that wasnt me!!!

by the time i got home it was gone.

i didnt say anything to him. im scared to push him away.. but its like if things are this sketch anyway then why not confront him!?

 

my friend talked to him after he took down the post and he said our situation is very confusing and he really likes me but he has some things to work out first. he also said things moved on to fast (which they did) he said he needs time to think. which i kind of believe but if that was it, then why couldnt he just be straight forward with me!??

 

i hate mind games... i would rather just be told the truth even if its bad.

 

 

 

why cant people just be straight forward..

its either another person hes seeing or his X is being a * * * * * and hes upset about it. we texted a little today but when i said hey before he never got back to me.

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Hun, I totally understand about people not being straight forward with you, instead they act like a ten yr old and playing mind games!!! I wish people weren't like that! I like people being straight up with me too even if its bad. I understand thats fusterating!

 

Honestly, I think your moving to fast and its a lot of pressure on this guy! Afterall, you only knew him for a few weeks, just let whatever happens, happens!! I wouldn't put too much stock into it right now. Just take your time and get to really know one another!! No need to rush things or spend lots of time together. Hang out a couple times a week and thats it. Its important to be your own person and do your own things as well!!! Hang out with your girlfriends and do something out on the town!!!! Ladies night out and just have fun and not worry about guys!! I agree, give him his space and see if he comes to you!!

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