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Question re: booze and despair


soheartbroken
What To Do About Break Up Guilt
What To Do About Break Up Guilt

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Hi all. I have a specific question that I'm hoping a couple of you will chime in on.

 

I've recently been dumped, and as you all know the pain can be unbearable. I've been super hesitant to have anything to drink, lest it exacerbate the pain or become a bad habit.

 

So my rather stupid question is whether it would be worth it to have a drink or two when the pain starts coming on strong. Some have said it can "take the edge off". Is it worth it?

 

Sorry for the rather immature question (5 year relationship, dumped a month ago).

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Well alcohol is a depressant. So while it can take the intensity of the pain down a bit it's not going to make you feel better overall. After all, you are already depressed. Adding a depressant to that isn't really a great idea. And it's a great way to get addicted to it because you are trying to use alcohol as a crutch.

 

Instead of having a drink, how about getting your body moving instead? Take a brisk walk. Go to the gym. Hit a golf ball. Whatever you enjoy to move your body and get some exercise. Exercise releases natural endorphins and will work much better to take that edge off and ease your pain.

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When I felt down after a break up, and whenever I had a drink, it just magnified my negative feelings. Alcohol does this: it amplifies your happy feelings, but also amplifies your sad feelings. Don't drink when you're sad! Trust me, it only leads to drunk calls and other regrettable things.

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Avman: haven't exercised since she left me. I just have no motivation. Have gone for some walks though...but never alone.

 

Well then I'd highly suggest it. Drag yourself to do it the first few times. I know you don't want to, but it really will make you feel a lot better. Sitting around and moping just makes it worse. You have to overcome your body's desire to just be a lump while you are grieving the relationship.

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OMG DON'T DO IT. I was feeling great, getting along well. Then I got a little sad so I had some wine...I cried my eye balls out thinking about my ex. (this was about a week ago) When I sobered up I felt better because when I was drunk somehow I was only thinking about all the good things my ex did when actually he was a big jerk. Alcohol screws up your perception of things.

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Hi all. I have a specific question that I'm hoping a couple of you will chime in on.

 

I've recently been dumped, and as you all know the pain can be unbearable. I've been super hesitant to have anything to drink, lest it exacerbate the pain or become a bad habit.

 

So my rather stupid question is whether it would be worth it to have a drink or two when the pain starts coming on strong. Some have said it can "take the edge off". Is it worth it?

 

Sorry for the rather immature question (5 year relationship, dumped a month ago).

 

Nope not worth it. 'Using' booze like that is slippery slope. You don't want to go down that road. And not a immature question at all, this is a good question. I LOVE a good craft beer. But haven't touched anything in 2 months since being dumped(after 4years). Isn't worth the price.

 

As to motivation - I still fight that. I now have friends and family force me out. It works, and will help. Whatever it takes! Keep strong.

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I felt many times like drinking when the pain got unbearable...But I stayed away from drugs and alcohol, im 2 months NC and things are slowly getting better.

 

If I were drinking the past 2 months, I probably wouldn't have done much healing..

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I've been doing lots of things to help me get over my ex in the last 2 months. Starting going out with friends on a saturday night and drinking. I enjoy going out with my friends, but i look around and try to see a girl who will catch my eye. I guess i am comparing them to my ex. I start to wish my ex was with me or she suddenly is there and we talk and sort things out. Later on i get home and i start miss my ex and get sad because i didnt see anyone i fancied and my ex is not at home in bed waiting for me.

 

however on the plus side i joined the gym and getting fitter and it better shape. i go 3-4 times a week. even go if i am bored for a few hours and feeling a bit down. even just go for a swim and sauna..etc I feel better for it afterwards. starting biking too. Doing physical exercise helps a lot. But making sure i keep the booze under control. I can see how people slip into drinking a lot and use it as temporary escapeism

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my ex - she lost her mum, has been raped, has been bullied, has hung with wrong friends, has been dumped by a lot of guys, dated the wrong guys etc, did drugs - now smokes a hell of a lot every day, and drinks between 1 and 2 bottles of wine a night.

 

dulls the pain yes, but temporarily - but over hte long term period - you will see that your health deteriorates, you start to get fat, and angry and annoyed and depressed. You want to be in a long term relationship - but you wont be able to, because your partner will leave you because you are drinking away your life.

 

alcohol/drugs/cigarettes is not the way to go to dull the pain......

 

if its that bad - see a counsellor or psychologist - better to pay $200 or whatever an hour, than end up dead from some painful disease

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Instead of drugs and all those... Why don't just learn some skill once you were amazed for? like crafting, drawing etc... instead heading for bar, why not attend a campaign, carnivals, festivals? you may meet someone important there, you never know...

 

Attend some classes and go having some exercise, I've been through and run all my dreadful feel on the road, I promise you that it actually works....

 

Sweat is a natural antidepressant, its been many times that it saved me from being so 'zombie'...

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