Increasing emotions while dating

[drewbehr1981]

After dating for a few weeks and especially after the first kiss (but before sex), what is a healthy level of emotional attachment to the other person?

 

I feel like alot of times after the first kiss, I end up acting too comfortable around the woman or something. Maybe coming on too strong or wanting more from her. Usually at this point I will develop feelings for her, and want more consistant communication. I start to miss her when she's not around.

 

Am I being too emotional/co-dependant? or have I just not met the right one yet? What mindset should I have at this stage of dating?

 

I'm a busy guy and have plenty of hobbies/exercise/work and friends.

 

I feel like I am very close to a relationship sometimes but it's like they always take a second look and then bail. I've dated alot of girls but it never turns into a relationship... which is all I've ever really wanted.

 

Anyone?

[JusticeLaw9]

Just remember to take it all oneday at a time. Don't get too far ahead of things and just maintain your cool. I used to make that same mistake, so I understand. Because it's so new and it's so exciting off the bat that it almost consumes you. Fight that urge and keep your cool. Live it oneday at a time and try to be as realistic as possible.

[pivotal]

Subtle hints of interest and breathing room.

[drewbehr1981]

Just remember to take it all oneday at a time. Don't get too far ahead of things and just maintain your cool. I used to make that same mistake, so I understand. Because it's so new and it's so exciting off the bat that it almost consumes you. Fight that urge and keep your cool. Live it oneday at a time and try to be as realistic as possible.

 

Yeah I take the cart before the horse with everything that I do.

 

Anxiety. They give the same advice for alcoholics.

 

I just wish these girls could understand that they're seeing me at my worst, and that I'll be a good man if they would just communicate and hang with me.

 

I scare them all away

[Esteller]

you know i was the same exact way . ha they always took a second glance and bail.. and that sucked.. but to tell you the truth my next relationship i straight up told myself im not dating anyone anymore.. but i a girl end up coming to me talking to me and what not.. what i tried different was to not act like i was so into her because of previous experience. but as time went by i did start having feelings for her... strong ones.. but i didn't let out so much of it. reason being didnt want to get hurt or whatever it was.. so we just took it at a step at a time.. me just being cool about things and not to rush anything.. until i find out how she really feels about me first. then when i feel safe to express how i feel she was happy about it... even though thats how i am i cant change that. i rather find someone who will except my feelings i have its a better feeling.

hope our story can relate

[catfeeder]

In order to make sure I get to know people well and that my feelings are about the person--not stuff I make up in my own mind 'about' the person, I don't allow myself to fantasize about someone I'm dating.

 

Keeps me honest, and keeps me from overboarding. Other up side is, whenever something doesn't work out I've got clarity about why. I'm never left wondering if I scared someone off with assumptive behavior or a glazed-over look.

 

There will be plenty of time to let go and let loose once closeness and trust are built over t.i.m.e. and are mutual. Meantime, keep your head and make this about connecting respectfully on a human level.

 

In your corner.

[fatcat1999]

you sounds like a good guy, maybe just too emotionally attached too soon. I think if you meet the right person at right time sure dating can turn into a relationship.

 

but just relax and remember you can't force a relationship, you've to let it evolve. and other areas of your life are as important as finding someone you love. It's not I'm doing any better, but I learn from my past experiences.