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child neglect or bad parents?


nightnurse

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I have 3 grandchildren (ages 5, 10 & 16) who have missed school frequently, have been to the dentist once, haven't seen a pediatrician in over 2 years. 10year old was born with a cardiac condition not followed up on in the past 5 years, 16 year old girl was supposed to have a sonogram and blood work for abdominal pain a year & half ago. Kids have been living with me for the summer because parents were evicted-they are living with family but there is not enough room for the kids. School starts in a week, they are not registered to attend. What can I do to help these kids? The law defines neglect as not providing care and causing harm. So far no harm, but I'm certain it will come. I have asked for guardianship but was told by parents to stop worrying...they have everything in control.

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I have 3 grandchildren (ages 5, 10 & 16) who have missed school frequently, have been to the dentist once, haven't seen a pediatrician in over 2 years. 10year old was born with a cardiac condition not followed up on in the past 5 years, 16 year old girl was supposed to have a sonogram and blood work for abdominal pain a year & half ago. Kids have been living with me for the summer because parents were evicted-they are living with family but there is not enough room for the kids. School starts in a week, they are not registered to attend. What can I do to help these kids? The law defines neglect as not providing care and causing harm. So far no harm, but I'm certain it will come. I have asked for guardianship but was told by parents to stop worrying...they have everything in control.

 

Ummmm yeah. They obviously do NOT have everything in control. Wow. I honestly, dont even know where to begin with this one... Wow. I honestly wish you, and especially the kids, the best of luck.

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Start by registering them for school (assuming you can, I'm not sure on this). How long are you going to be caring for them? Are you in the same school district that they will be in when/if they go back to their parents? If not, I would go ahead and register them in the school district you are in. This is top priority, as they need schooling. Can you take them to the dentist/doctor? They obviously do not have everything under controll if they cannot even keep the kids with them. I'm not sure if you can get guardianship without getting the parents permission, but I would think this would be crucial as their primary care giver if you need it to enroll them in school, get medical care etc.

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Oh yes, child neglect for sure. Failure to provide necessary medical care and education falls under the child neglect statutes.

 

I would absolutely contact an attorney to discuss how to attain custody of these kids. Thats the best way for you to retain control over the situation. But it can take awhile unless the parents would agree to signing custody over.

 

You can in theory contact Child Protective Services if you feel they are in immediate danger. That will be faster than trying to get custody, however there is no guarantee they would place the kids with you. They may leave them with the parents, put them in foster care, etc. It all depends on the situation and the social worker.

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Unless there are laws in your state that require yearly medical exams, it isn't neglect unless the children are sick. Millions of kids outgrow cardiac murmurs without ever needing intervention. A missed ultrasound exam for belly pain in young females; unless the pain is chronic & existing could have been a waste of money, and in fact may have kept food off the table or other unnecessary sacrifices. You are correct that neglect and abuse are clearly defined. What you describe sounds like you uphold high standards than your adult child does. Your expectations and values are not being met, perhaps the reason is financial. Kids are required certain vaccines and they offered for free by the health departments.

What's can a granny do? Spend time with your grands at their home, take them places, buy them items to promote their education and build their self esteem. Know them, be a part of their daily life by phone or in person. That's a big brood of kids and not everyone can get what the want, but it sounds like they get what they need. How often the reach out to you? A grandparents love can bend a frown into smile, let them know you are there if they need you. Above all, do nothing for one unless you are prepared to match the same for the others. Favoritism can cause unhealthy emotions.

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I have 3 grandchildren (ages 5, 10 & 16) who have missed school frequently, have been to the dentist once, haven't seen a pediatrician in over 2 years. 10year old was born with a cardiac condition not followed up on in the past 5 years, 16 year old girl was supposed to have a sonogram and blood work for abdominal pain a year & half ago. Kids have been living with me for the summer because parents were evicted-they are living with family but there is not enough room for the kids. School starts in a week, they are not registered to attend. What can I do to help these kids? The law defines neglect as not providing care and causing harm. So far no harm, but I'm certain it will come. I have asked for guardianship but was told by parents to stop worrying...they have everything in control.

Listen... you need to have a serious sit down with these parents.. come to the convo with bullet points of how they do not have everything in control.. dont' push, but try to get them to understand...sometimes people don't realize things they are doing. Don't make them feel betrayed or anything but tell them that if they need help you are there for them.. they need to try to take care of everything one thing at a time... its obvious they don't have everything in control if they are being evicted or anything... but don't say anything about doing things yourself or whatnot if they seem like they will take your help... tell them you are there for them and would like to help getting things in order... that sometimes everyone needs alittle helping hand and you understand what its like to need it.. but, if they are going to stay in denile.. then you may have to tell them that if they won't do something about it you will.. its not about them. its about the children and they need to stop being so selfish saying they have everything under control.

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