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Disturbing dream, how to shake it off?


meiling

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My bf came and stayed overnight last night and this morning we kept sleeping off and on. Right before we got up for real, I had a really terrible dream.

 

The dream/nightmare was about him and felt so real. We had woken up and I had said something to him and he just flipped, sat up and pulled me up and shook me while speaking to me really vehemently and glaring. He had spit flying from his mouth and he kept shaking me until I was sobbing. Something else happened that I can't remember but then we went to see a movie and before we went in he had started talking to me that same way again and then left me stranded there.

 

Kind of a stupid dream, but the unexplained anger in it really made an impression on me. My alarm hadn't gone off but the nightmare woke me up, then he woke up next to me and I started crying. I told him a little bit about the dream, but not specific details.

 

Sometimes I do think that dreams mean something, but I have no bad notion about my boyfriend especially since I have never seen him angry. We've been going out a few months and I have met his family, friends, he has never been anything but kind, easygoing and caring. But I still can't shake it off and I hate having this ill thing in my head. Can anyone else relate or tell me how to get rid of the mental images of it? I have never had such a terrible dream about someone's personality before.

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I can definitely relate.. When my ex and I got serious, I started to have really really violent dreams involving him. It'd wake me up every single night, even when he was there next to me. Telling him helped, but the bad dreams wouldn't stop until we broke up. I have no idea what it was about, but the break up was unrelated to the dreams (although it did contribute in an indirect way).

 

Not sure, I want to say something positive, but in my case, I think it was my subconscious trying to tell me something... like, the guy is up to no good... behind it all.

 

This ex also showed absolutely no sign of violence/anger of any kind around me. He was gentle, kind, caring, etc, the perfect boyfriend. When we broke up, though, he was an entirely different story..

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...but I have no bad notion about my boyfriend especially since I have never seen him angry. We've been going out a few months and I have met his family, friends, he has never been anything but kind, easygoing and caring.

 

Perhaps that right there could account for your dream? You do not know how he expresses anger, and so your subconscious is cooking up a frightening possible scenario. We do fear the unknown, after all, and we do tend to fear the worst; particularly if we are pessimistic, or preoccupied with the thought that something (or someone) seems 'too good to be true'.

 

So yes. My first impression was that your subconscious mind is trying to get to know your boyfriend, but feels that a piece of the puzzle (anger - and everything that connotes for you) is missing. So you were provided with a worst-case possibility. Perhaps you could explore this concern (the missing pieces of your boyfriend's emotional spectrum) by discussing feelings like anger and frustration with him, and learning a little more about how he feels about such emotions.

 

My two cents...

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Dreams usually do mean something but in ways that you may not fully understand. I saw a show on dream experts which was quite fascinating. People told them about some significant dreams they were having and they were able to root the dreams to some related issues in their lives.

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Perhaps that right there could account for your dream? You do not know how he expresses anger, and so your subconscious is cooking up a frightening possible scenario. We do fear the unknown, after all, and we do tend to fear the worst; particularly if we are pessimistic, or preoccupied with the thought that something (or someone) seems 'too good to be true'.

 

This makes absolutely perfect sense to me, I think that's what it is! We had a little problem a few weeks ago that was out of either of our control, which scared both of us and caused me to become distant with him so we didn't talk for a few days. When I was finally ready to explain why I hadn't returned his calls I didn't know if he would be angry or not, then I started thinking that I had never really seen him angry.

 

I talked to him in a little more detail about the dream since he wanted to know, and he understood why it would upset someone. So now I feel a little better, just hopefully I don't have anymore!

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