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Who is right and who is wrong?


heatspreader

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This morning my mother asked to borrow $150 and while I wouldn't normally care, but she has a gambling addiction (in which she succumbed to just last night, and probably will again tonight). I got upset and told her I'm not a bank, and when she said it's not like you don't owe me, I just said whatever and walked away. Now everyone in this house is trying their best to make me feel like a jerk. Money is sensitive right now, and she makes more than I do, plus her husbands salary. In a month or two I will pretty much be living on my own, and if I don't get some of my bills paid off I won't be eating this winter because business will most likely slow down and my salary will be cut in half. I personally feel that she needs to take more responsibility for her own finances.

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Hey... you don't owe her anything...So she raised you... is that your fault? No you were her responsibility... She had to do it... You don't owe her money to support her addiction... What you owe her is getting her help.

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You're right....you don't "owe" her anything unless you've borrowed money from her in the past and not repaid her.

 

Oh, and I'm not sure who "everyone else" is who is making you feel like a jerk, but next time they say something, tell them THEY can loan her some money if it's that important to them, YOU don't have it to lend to her

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I agree with the other posters. I really feel for you. I'm going through a similar situation with my husband.

 

But I've been handling it differently. I'll say I'll give some money to keep the peace for awhile. But then I purposely forget or only give him a tiny amount. And I've kept this up for years.

 

But now he knows I'm too flaky and unreliable as a source of income.

 

He even says we're gonna lose the house. But I've heard all that many times before.

 

The tension in the house is very painful, I know.

 

Perhaps in front of everyone just say you'll give her some money but never follow through. So they see you have good intentions, and your mom will look stupid if she grieps to anyone later that you didn't actually fund her.

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