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mandellin
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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I feel like I am walking on eggshells.

 

My ex and I are trying to reconcile. Things were going great for awhile. When we were together before the split it was not a LDR - now it is. It is driving me crazy not seeing him. Also he said he wanted to work things out the other day...I do too. I told several guys that wanted to date me that I couldnt date them because I am in love with this guy and trying to work things out. Today he calls me and we talk - and he says to me what - we are still separated.

 

After like three days ago he said he wanted to fix things and work things out? So I ask him if he is dating anyone - he says no. I ask him a second time for clarity. Then I was like listen - after being together three years I have to know if you are serious about us working things out or not because I have a feeling you are keeping me as a safety net. To which he replies no. I told him I wanted to know what he wants between us because I am confused. He said well there is a lot we need to talk about. He told me to call him tonight. I called him (be it an hour after he asked me to) and he didn't answer so I called back a second time (bc I am leaving on a trip tomorrow for a church lecture and will probably have my cell off all weekend) When we talked tonight instead of the normal I LOVE YOU's...he said have a good night and blew me kisses over the phone...(very not him).

 

I am so confused.

 

Is it the classic have your cake and eat it,too syndrome?

 

Is he trying to say he wants to be free to date? or does he really want to work things out?

 

So many people have told me he is playing head games. I am just so tired. I want our relationship before all the complications back. I don't know what to do.

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what is his reasoning for staying seperated still? And ask him, if your are both free to date other people? See what he answers. If he says yes, I wouldn't wait around for him to make up his mind. That's unfair to you. You either want to work at it or you don't.

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But... "working things out" takes time, it can't happen just overnight... or in two days... I suppose he's telling you the truth and is not playing games. Probably he wants to talk about problems you had and ensure "working things out" is possible. At the moment he may feel you insist too much on being with him again and as he can't say for sure this will happen - that's, maybe, why he didn't say the usual "I love you".

 

Just relax and be patient. He wants to be with you, I think.

 

By the way, I don't think telling the men who wanted to date you that you were in love with your Ex was a good idea

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Dont put any pressure on him now go away for the weekend dont have any contact. You sound needy and desperate for answers I dont blame you. But projecting them to him in this way is not a good thing, it will make him want to run at the very least... Take control..message him and tell him YOU need some thinking time and will talk with HIM the following week or one after... when you are both free and to have a good weekend. Give him something to chew on also....

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