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HELP! I effed things up with 2 good guy friends and possibly at work! pleez help =[ idk what 2 do


Megan86

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so I really REALLY liked this guy Blake, and we hung out, and then it turned into a date kinda, and he bought me dinner..I've been friends with him for a while, so I planned to move in for financial reasons, and we ended up kissing in his car, he told me he liked me and that he was looking for a girlfriend and I should come over the next day..so I did and I was under the impression we were going to start dating..

 

Well after those two days I txted a friend of his I didnt really know, because he hadn't talked to me in like a week, and she told me he didnt really like me like and he liked this other girl Ashley that and that he felt bad for leading me on..so I decided oh well, Ill move on...I began moving in with him like originally planned....I was crushed but I was like oh well, he's still a good friend...

 

well this coworker Nick that Im super good friends (well actually Im his manager thats where it gets complecated) with, and he's also good friends with Blake, helped me move things in, and when Blake saw Nick and I (at the time we were just good friends..we played video games, we were close like we curl up with eachother but thats it) he thought him and I were together cause we were curled up on the couch watching tv...so blake started pacing, nick and I were like "whats wrong?" and then Blake left his house and Nick and I watched him make a phone call from his car..well Nick left and I felt akward and we both left...

 

well Nick and I hung like 2 weeks solid after that, as I was moving stuff in and he was helping me...one night Nick and I came in and there was this girl there, Ashley..so Nick and I left cause we felt akward cause it was the girl Blake liked...well after we left Blake invited us back over for a movie that him and Ashley were going to watch..When we were there Blake made coments like "you two are so cute together..." and like rubbed Nick and Mines hair and stuff like that and nick and I were like..."were not together..uhh?" and I watched Blake and Ashley all snuggly on the couch and it kinda hurt so I snuggled with Nick, not out of jelousy but just out of comfort cause Nicks comforting....well I stayed over cause I wasnt fully moved in yet, and Nick and I slept in the living room (we've slept next to eachother before after hanging out all day, it was a normal thing) Blake was in his room with the door closed...but this time Nick and I ended up kissing, he started it, like snuggling me more then he just like started kissing me non stop, though he probably got the idea though from my cuddling so much during the movie, we didn't do it very long, we didnt use tongue and after like several minutes we just curled up and went to sleep...

 

Next day I felt SUPER guilty, I mean I have liked Nick, I do like him but FIRST OFF Im his manager, second off hes 19 Im 22, third off, hes Nick, like an awesome friend...we hung out several times after that he stayed over at my house but he slept on couch and I went to my room...

 

well like a few days later, Ashley the girl Blake was cuddling came in when Blake wasnt home and asked me if Nick and I were dating, and I was like, "no we can't date, Im his manager" and she was like, "do you like him? it must be weird being so close and being his manager" and I was like..."yeah I like him, but were not that close, there is nothing between us"

 

Then like a few day's later Blake asked me "so you and Nick, are you two like dating?" and I was like, "no..I can't Im his manager, we could never date" he was like "do you like him? are you guy's just friends?" I was like "yes I like him, but we are deffinatly just friends, cause it couldn't ever happen, were just friends, and Im kinda old for him anyways, kinda creepy" and he was like, "Well you guys could have a secret relationship" an dI was like "No, my jobs too important to me, you know I love work" and I left it at that..

 

Well I met Blakes friend Lisa and she was like, "so you and Nick, are you dating?" that was like the first she asked me after meeting me, and I was like, "why does everyone keep asking that" and she was like, "well Blakes told me things" and I was like, "told you things? Nick and I play video games, you don't even know Nick and you just met me.." and she was like "playing video games, well if thats what you're calling it" and I was like.."huh?" and she was like.."well its cause you made out with him" and I just stopped...I was like "what? how did you know? who said that?" and she was like, "Blake saw it and became very upset and called me" and I was like, "no one saw it and wait called you?" Lisa then was like "yeah he got home from work and you two were making out on the couch and he went to his car and called me" and I was like "wait no that didnt happen...thats not when we kissed, when he came home we were curled up watching telivision, then he started pacing, and went to his car, Nick and I watched him threw the window, we were wondering what he was doing" and she was like.."yeah he paces when hes very upset, I was wondering why three days later he changed his story and said you two were cuddling, well I guess he saw you two, and you know Blake he makes assumtions, and he was very upset because he thought you two were about to start dating, he really liked you, but after that he called me and told me that his chapter with you was over"

 

so I was like, oh my gosh...I told her about the girl telling me he was leadind me on, and she was like "what? no thats BS, he liked you alot..he thought you two were about to start dating and he wanted you as his girl friend, and when he described you, you sounded very sweet, then after that with Nick, cause I didnt know you I thought you sounded like a skank and told him not to let you move in...but wait when were you and Nick making out?" and I told her, and explained I was upset to see him and Ashley and I couldnt be with him cause Nick was my subordinate and it was a mistake...and she was like "I was invited over that night too, and yeah that was way after he said you two were making out or cuddling or whatever"

 

so then I realised that Blake was never leading me on, and that when he stopped liking me was when Nick helped me move in and not before and he didn't see when we did kiss...I told Lisa, "I liked blake alot" and she was like "he does like Ashley alot now, but Ashley doesnt like him back, but before all of this it was between you and Ashley and he liked you more, but after the Nick thing he said it was over with you, but honestly I think you are alot more like him then ashley...I can't believe he jumped to so many conclusions" and I told her, "If I knew he still liked me I would have never kissed Nick that was only after I saw him and Ashley" she was like "I know hun, It sucks all this confusion over a missunderstanding"....

 

WELL I haven't really talked to Blake, then out of the blue Nick (Who I txted constantly we were good friends even though we kissed once, we saw eachother like 3 times a day, hung out at eachothers house, became inseperable) stopped txting stopped wanting to hang out and I don't know why...

 

so Im all worried like, does he find me creepy now cause we kissed? Im not sure what I did wrong, I so screw up by kissing him. yes addmittedly I have a crush on him but things wouldn't have worked. sense I am his manager all I can do is back off cause I don't know how badly I crossed the line..I dont have power at my work, so I dont have anything over his schedual hours or pay so Im more like an assistant part time manager so they don't care as much, but still Im very worried. my job is important to me, so all I can do is just stop txting him and wanting to hang out.

 

At work things have been absolutly normal between us though, like he teases me, and hes like talks to me, but he used to always ask if we could hang out after work, he had gotten my number from Blake actually, thats how we first started haning out, he had told people he didn't think I would want to hang out with him and when we did he was like thinking it was awesome, but now and he's stopped everything, it was suddenly out of the blue, and I just want my friend back.

 

but Im scared that sense we crossed the line just that once that any request I have to hang out with him again, even just video games, he could be like LAWSUIT or something..then with Blake, I like him and I don't want to hang out with Nick around Blake at all cause I dont want him to think anythings going on cause nothing is, and can't happen..Im not sure if either of them still like me or ever liked me..I really like Blake but Im scared Ive blown things, Im scared for my job, and I want to know how to deal with Nick without crossing any lines...HELP!!! pleez decifer them =[[

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Call up blake, tell him that girl told you he was leading you on and thats why youguys didnt start dating, tell him you still ike him and want to be with him. I'm quite sure he will change his mind about the other girl if he liked you more all along. As for your friend, tell him you made a mistake by kissing him and you want to remain friends but you want to be with blake. As long as everyone understands and theres no room for people to make up assumptions then your whole situation will be better.

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Call up blake, tell him that girl told you he was leading you on and thats why youguys didnt start dating, tell him you still ike him and want to be with him. I'm quite sure he will change his mind about the other girl if he liked you more all along. As for your friend, tell him you made a mistake by kissing him and you want to remain friends but you want to be with blake. As long as everyone understands and theres no room for people to make up assumptions then your whole situation will be better.

 

Blake I was trying to find a way of telling him without being to bold, cause he does like Ashley more now...the thing is Ashley is leaving for hawii for three months next week and Im moving in the same week, and sense she doesn't want to be with him I figured I might be able to patch things up then, hopefully...as for Nick, Im scared to even aknowledge kissing him cause Im his manager..like Im pretending it didn't happen...like he stopped wanting to hang out with me not vice versa, so Im scared that if I contact him again outside of work at all its harassment (just cause he seems so distant) and during work is just innaproriate...

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I don't think hes going to go off the deep end and file a lawsuit against you, besides i don't think a kiss could warrant that lol. He's your friend and he probably has feelings for you and thats why he is distant because he knows you want someone else. He's trying to avoid getting his feelings hurt which is understandable.

 

And talk to blake, theres nothing wrong with being forward about it. Why beat around the bush and leave space for assumptions and doubt?

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after we had kissed and how we had been I thought Nick had feelings for me too until he suddenly stopped wanting to hang out...like for the first 3 days (after before we had hung out non stop) I would txt "hey, if you get bored and wanna hang out let me know k?" and he replied "lol okay Ill let you know" so I felt like he was laughing at me...then he made some comment about how his friend who was 22 hit on this 18 year old and he thought it was creepy...so he tld me this after we kissed...he was just gossiping about his friend cuz he always thinks his friend dan is creepy...but I thought, yeah he kissed me, but maybe cuz I kissed back he find me creepy cuz Im 22 and hes 19...so Im so worried about being creepy anymore, thats what Im worried about....and I never talked to nick about me wanting to be with Blake so I dont think thats the case....I think Ill be able to fix the blake thing maybe, next week cause proximity works miricals....but Im very confused about how to deal with the Nick problems...blake I knew from before, and even though were all friends, I met Nick threw work, so that makes it complicated, I cant be too bold or even risk rumors starting...

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bump! I really want help with this...especially with the Nick situation cause idk if hes said anything to people at work....like I know why Blake stopped talking to me, even if it does suck, but it worries me cause I dont know why nick stopped talking, and I dont know where hes coming from...any ideas?

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no I didnt use nick...I do like nick and if I wasnt his boss I would totally want to be with him...being his boss it cant happen...like I said I "have a crush on nick" so me kissing back was cuz I do like him....me back tracking is because I know it shouldnt have ever happened cuz on a moral level it was wrong and it could cost me my job..I didnt kiss nick in front of blake, it was after blake left the room...but then felt guilty afterwards...I am worried that some of what I said to his friends was repeated cuz if it was he might think it was like u said and used him when I didnt, it would explain him being upset...but if he quit his job I would consider nick...I told ashley and blake I like nick but it just couldnt happen...honestly I can probably fix the blake situation, Im not sure how to fix things with nick and Im closer to him then blake so it sucks loosing a friend

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stop saying if you weren't his boss you would be with him... come on.. your 22..are you working for the military? gonna be shot if you go with someone at work? you guys are really great friends... so he's alittle younger.. you obviously get along great... .if you like the guy you go out with him.. if you can't be together at work... don't be together at work.. be together outside of work... it maybe too late for both... blake seems pist at you and nick seems hurt...i dunno what to tell you...

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stop saying if you weren't his boss you would be with him... come on.. your 22..are you working for the military? gonna be shot if you go with someone at work? you guys are really great friends... so he's alittle younger.. you obviously get along great... .if you like the guy you go out with him.. if you can't be together at work... don't be together at work.. be together outside of work... it maybe too late for both... blake seems pist at you and nick seems hurt...i dunno what to tell you...
its just Ive been at my job 5 years and love my job...I am a workaholic and work has always been first for me, as well as my reputation, and dating a subordinate kills rep fast, plus I dont want to make things akward if they go south....but I guess you're right, if I like him, which I do I cant rule it out...I am very sad to not have him around like I did a few weeks ago, I feel like I really messed up with him...and the age gap doesnt bother me, but it might bother him? maybe not...i dont know...I keep thinking what if he never liked me that way and now he feels like it was a mistake and is avoiding me? I didnt think he knew I liked blake but I guess blake or one of blakes friends could have told him....do you think Nick likes me still and is just hurt is all? is that basically what everyone thinks? cuz Im worried he just lost interest...if he didnt just loose interest I still have a chance maybe...I dont know, now Im considering nick lol...I do like him more but it still bothers me Im his boss...oh blah lol...I feel so confused
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You sounds kind of oblivious. After Blake is pissed seeing you and Nick on the couch, it should be really obvious what would have triggered it. And if Nick is a decent looking guy and you're an attractive girl, cuddling with eachother and staying over at eachothers' places pretty much always heads down the same path. Nick had his eye on you from the start but went down the friends route hoping it would turn into something more, and at no point did you say no to his advances. Blake really liked you and made his feelings known to you, going so far as to even be willing to move in with you. (Men don't lead women on to move in with them.) For reasons unbeknowns to me, you believed some random girl who told you Blake felt guilty leading you on, when most indicators make it clear that he had a pretty firm interest in you. You then ignored him and made a new male friend, a relationship which quickly turned into more, and from his perspective, you pretty obviously ditched him for the new guy.

 

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At this point, you can try and explain the situation and come clean, but odds are even if he accepts you, he's going to have very conflicted feelings about the whole ordeal. To be fair though, you were both hedging your bets.

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I am "oblivious" thats why Im asking for help lol...I am a very pretty girl, which sounds vain but Im not vail, just stating a fact. so I shouldnt find it hard to get into a relationship, but I suck at understanding whats going on so I always eff good things up and then dont know how to fix them and then am sad

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