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Can You Still Be Friends With Someone You've Had Sex With?


MeLoveMe

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My answer would be "no." I feel that after having sex, it changes the entire scenario.

 

Just my opinion...

 

I'm going to have to agree with you. I would consider myself a bit conservative, BUT I've had friends that have tried to have one night stands, or FWB's and sex always ruins things. What I mean is that someone gets really attached or develops some sort of feelings for the other person. I've seen it happen to friends who wanted "just sex and nothing else" too...

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I'm going to have to agree with you. I would consider myself a bit conservative, BUT I've had friends that have tried to have one night stands, or FWB's and sex always ruins things. What I mean is that someone gets really attached or develops some sort of feelings for the other person. I've seen it happen to friends who wanted "just sex and nothing else" too...

 

 

I agree. I've seen it ruin many good friendships.

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Yes, it's possible.

 

However, I can only think of one instance it's happening in my own life. And we were friends for a long time, had a short fling and see if we might be a match, that ended, and we continued with the sort of friendship we had prior.

 

I don't think I could be "close" friends with someone I was in an intimate relationship with, speaking for myself, because of the complications that inevitably come up when one/both is dating again or in a relationship or married.

 

The case I mention, I got invited to his wedding to a good match for him and there is no awkwardness at all. The friendship is kept appropriate for the circumstances.

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I've tried this...it's only worked about 50% of the time. Two of the girls are involved with someone, but we can say hi and check up on each other and it's no big deal.

 

The other two girls...it got all complicated. It started off as just flings...but they both got attached. I tried to let them both go, but started missing one of them in particular. I decided I wanted to be exclusive with her and asked if she was ok with me still being friends with the other since I'd known her so long. She said it was ok. The other girl was a lil hurt, but was fine with just being a friend. We didn't really talk much after that, but we still heard from each other now and then.

 

The sad part is that the girl I was exclusive with was so jealous that the other girl was still a friend and couldn't be happy unless I basically her to **** off. I felt it was unnecessary and mean. I even called her up after over a month of NC with her just to tell her I was in love with my girlfriend...at my girlfriend's request. Why tell her "I don't need u around anymore" on top of that??

 

This eventually tore our relationship apart. I barely even speak to either girl anymore. I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend, but she can't stand that I recently added that girl as a friend on Facebook (after she and I had been split, BTW). Ugh...all that was a big mess and I'm still all screwed up over it.

 

So...remaining friends after having sex? It can be done I think....depends on the type of people involved. If they can't handle it...it'll be a mess. Trust me.

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I honestly don't blame your ex at all...you should have cut off contact with the other girl...its not about being mean, its about reasurring your own girlfriend of your loyalty.

 

If it had been any other girl, it would have been no problem. But this girl had ties to my cousin's family...I knew I'd still run into her again and I've known her for about 8 years. After I told her I was in love, she said she'd cut contact to keep from causing problems. I thought the problem was taken care of. Well, my gf and I would break up, and she'd hear of it thru my cousin, and she'd call to see how I was doin...and vice versa. My gf and I would get back together later and she'd ask if I'd talked to the girl any, and I'd tell her yes. She'd freak out again telling me that I was always choosing that girl over her, etc. I kept trying to make her see that was all history and we were nothing more than friends. Also know this: my gf had at least 3-4 guy friends that she had slept with in the past that she still talked to on occasion...but in her reasoning it was ok cuz "that happened before I met you." And here's something else...one of the friends I asked about, she assured me "there's nothing there and we just keep in touch cuz nothing bad happened to make us quit talking" and she erased his number. After we split, she ends up sleepin with him a few times again. The rules she laid down for me to follow never applied to her also.

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Well, I think both of you were wrong then. I don't treat my SO like this. I wouldn't be with a girl or guy like her because of all her sleeping around. AND i still maintain this: If I'm with him, I'm with HIM...and if he doesn't want me to see someone I slept with, someone of the opposite sex, someone I'm friends with, someone I dated...you better bet I think his opinion is more important than the other guys and I'd drop the other guy.

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I think it is possible.

 

But I think it is dependent on how much you felt romantically for the person you had sex with, and how close you wish to be as friends afterwards..... as well as how much time has passed in between.

 

I am now quite comfortably friends with exes who I broke up with fairly amicably who I was never overly serious with and where enough time has passed so that nothing is awkward - the past is clearly the past. These are the type of exes where there was close friendship, kinship and sex... but never "I love you".

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Well, I think both of you were wrong then. I don't treat my SO like this. I wouldn't be with a girl or guy like her because of all her sleeping around. AND i still maintain this: If I'm with him, I'm with HIM...and if he doesn't want me to see someone I slept with, someone of the opposite sex, someone I'm friends with, someone I dated...you better bet I think his opinion is more important than the other guys and I'd drop the other guy.

 

I see what you're saying, and I get where you're coming from. I eventually told her I'd give in and tell this girl to butt out of my life completely (even though we hadn't been in contact for months). She still didn't seem satisfied, cuz she knew I wouldn't be happy about it. It was the principle of it all to me...I never once asked her to quit talking to ANYONE, all I wanted to know was WHY she kept in touch with them. Once she told me, that was that. I was satisfied.

 

Considering she still had friends that were ex-sexual partners, asking me to tell this girl to **** off seemed really insecure and controlling to me. After all, this was the only girl that was still a friend to me that I'd slept with, besides my ex-wife, and we kept in touch because of our kids. I just hated that she wouldn't compromise, or let me deal with it in my own way. I never asked or demanded anything from her...not even a favor I can think of.

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A guy that I dated for about two months and slept with is now one of my best purely platonic friends. He's met other guys that I've been with since him and they get along great. We fell out of touch for a while after we broke up but it was probably for the best to go without contact for a period of time.

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i re-read the original....i would like to change my answer since i guess i responded based on the title and well....

 

if it was a relationship? no, i go no contact. friends is not necessary.

 

if it was a friend and we just hooked up, of course we can still be friends.

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Yeah, it's possible, but it also depends on the people involved.

 

I'm really good friends with one of my exes whom I dated about 2 years ago. It lasted for only 6 months, but the sexual relationship lingered long after that. We're still friends, in fact we're working together on a few freelance projects. I'm not sexually attracted to him anymore and I do have a bf now, so I think that's why it has worked. He's become my confidante and my bf does not have a problem with that at all.

 

Now, my ex-FWB, I don't think I can be friends with him, mostly because that was all there was into the relationship - there was no friendship. So no, I can't talk to him, he still contacts me, which makes me sick, but I just ignore him.

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