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What should I do


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I have a tough choice, I have been in NC for about 2 months. I did not say anything. She left me and has not tried to contact me. She sort of left the ball in my court, breaking up with me and saying to contact her when I get better. About two weeks back I hear that she was asking someone if she should call, and that she really loves me and misses me. Then I hear she went to Vegas. This past weekend. Now she asked this guy that is sort of a creep if she should call me. However, he is the one that hook us up. What do I do, do I relax and just wait. I am so worried she will find someone new. Can I get some advice please!!!

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We would argue a lot, the one main reason was because she would stare at other men, and I told her it would hurt me. However, she never changed, and we would get into an argument and I would break up with her and come right back to her. Because in the back of my mind I would think about what she would do to me. She would also be very moody with me and then be really cool with one of guy friends. And she would confine in him and not me, which sort of made me mad as well.

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i obviously dont know the whole story, or what it is that she thinks is so wrong with you that you have to recover from until you contact her...

 

If you dont think you did anything wrong when you two were together before and you were good to her, then why dance to her tune? If your side of the street is clean in the relationship then why should it be you contacting her?

 

I have said this a lot on here lately but talk/words are cheap, actions speak a million times louder so if she really misses you as much as she professes to then she should be the one getting back in touch with you!

 

My advice is to sit back and wait... you dont owe her anything! But again, i dont know the whole situation.

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Here is the story, she had a problem with staring at other men, gazing all that stuff. It would make me so mad, I told her it made me insecure. When we had an argument we I would break up with her and come right back. Now I am not a saint, and we did get in some heated arguments. In the end she told every one about our arguments. She said she was unhappy. And started to pull away. I did everything I could, I was going to counseling, I was praying and this is what happen.

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why would you want to get back with someone who regularly makes you feel 2nd best then? This is no grounds for a relationship despite how you feel about her... and it sounds like she rubs your nose in it too!

 

I think the whole arrangement sounds toxic, and while she may say she misses you now etc, do you honestly think that the whole making you feel insecure thing will not happen again?

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I've been somewhat in the same position. Except, I was uncomfortable with my ex talking to a guy that was clearly interested in her, but I guess she just liked the attention. After how long would you typically run back? For me it was about 3-4 weeks before I ran back. THis time when I broke up with her, she tried to make me jealous and piss me off indirectly but I held my ground for 6 weeks until I ran into her, and she looked very upset. Not sure if that means anything, but in your case, let her make the first move.

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because you obviously have painfully low self esteem and self confidence, and i thought i was bad!!

 

Time for tough love... dude it sounds like you need to go away and do whatever it takes to make yourself realise that no one that has any significance in your life should make you feel second best, especially not a girlfriend!! Until then you are not fit to be in any relationship as far as i am concerned... you sound like a bit of a doormat like i used to be! Chicks dont dig this... dont be a girls pet!

 

As guys, we are expected to keep our insecurities and emotions at bay, which sucks ass! Especially if you are where you are right now and where i have been... You need to get yourself into a position where you wont take that * * * * of a girl looking at another guy and making you feel bad.

 

Dont get me wrong girls are great, but they will walk all over you given the chance, as much as it pains me to say it, you simply need to man up and grow a set! This doesnt mean ignoring your insecurities and emotions... you cant change essentially who you are, talk to your family, friends, therapist about these things. But you need to realise you are number one and any girl worth your time will treat you like number one! But not until you realise it first!

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