Jump to content

Ladies...directness - good or bad?


Zeitgeist

Recommended Posts

If a guy you sort of know calls you up and asks you out for a meal (regardless of whether you're very attracted to him or not), do you view this as a good or bad thing? That is, would you prefer the going out process to develop gradually over time and for him to ask at the "right moment" or would you rather he get to the point and simply ask?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My current bf asked me out to dinner right away. We were on the phone discussing a subject (I had randomly bumped into him with a friend twice before and this was our second phone convo - this first convo on the same subject) and he just said - its too complicated to explain to you now, meet me for dinner and I'll tell you about it. Since I was engrossed in the topic I said sure right away, only to realize after I hung up that he had tricked me into going out on a date. I was not attracted to him nor did I want to date him at that point, but felt bad cancelling so I went.

 

Had he continued to chit chat with me or make progress every time I saw him out or so on, I would not have given him the time of day.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Waiting is an insult, just ask up front.

I agree with ya there waveseer.....

 

It is like the guy has to DECIDE if you are good enuf to ask out if he makes you wait forever...

 

I much have a guy who has some balls and the courage to ask me out right off the bat, and let me know how he thinks about me, than one who makes you wait for months & months..

That is just stupid imho, and does not translate to me for the guy having much courage!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Girls are simply brutal on this subject. They don't seem to want to accept the fact that 90% of the time a guy waits to make a move is because he is nervous and/or scared of rejection. It is amusing to hear these wild theories that girls have on why guys are roundabout sometimes, and how they somehow contort it that these guys are trying to be disrespectful or offensive. The fact is that it they are just so unattractive to that kind of behavior that it becomes offensive. Girls for the most part just have to sit there and bat there eyelashes at the type of guy that is indirect and that is as much work as they have to do, so you would think that they would be a little more understanding as all the putting yourself out there first seems to fall on the guys shoulders.

 

That being said, I think it is retarded when a guy hangs out with a girl he likes as a friend when she is taken and then pounces once she is single, but I guess his other options are pretty retarded too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whoa. So wait. If a guy is direct and asks you gals out, that's good and shows directness and that he's not going to wait. But if he's a little different and direct and asks you out, he's creepy and your guard is up?

 

Which is it? I read in another thread in this forum about girls being creeped out by guys that it's not always a good thing. But now it is good to just be direct?

 

It almost sounds like it totally depends on what the guy looks like as to whether he is being 'direct' or being 'creepy'.

 

Also, if a guy knows you're dating someone, why is it bad that he's not asking you out? He's being respectful to you and your partner. Of course he's going to wait until you're single - if he asks you out while you're with someone, what kind of an ass does that make him look like?

 

Also, gals, it is incredibly difficult to ask a girl out, especially just on seeing her someplace. Half the time we assume that you have someone already. A ring on the left hand or pushing a baby stroller will only cement that idea. Why put in the effort to ask a girl out if you know she's already out of reach?

 

Seriously girls, just ask out a guy next time you see one that you want to date. it's not as easy as it looks. Even not being selected by a relative stranger still stings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Also, if a guy knows you're dating someone, why is it bad that he's not asking you out? He's being respectful to you and your partner. Of course he's going to wait until you're single - if he asks you out while you're with someone, what kind of an ass does that make him look like?

 

 

On top of what was just said above - its very annoying and hurtful when a "friend" has just been hanging around waiting for the possibility of asking you out (either b/c they are shy or you're dating someone else). And then they ask you out and you politely decline and they disappear...making it obvious how much our friendship was really valued.

 

Its one thing to be friends with people and develop feelings for them. Its another thing to befriend people b/c you have feelings for them, hoping that something will make them return those feelings later on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If a guy you sort of know calls you up and asks you out for a meal (regardless of whether you're very attracted to him or not), do you view this as a good or bad thing? That is, would you prefer the going out process to develop gradually over time and for him to ask at the "right moment" or would you rather he get to the point and simply ask?

 

That would really depend on the guy. I'm pretty neutral on it. Kept low pressure and casual, nice. If it comes accross as random though to me (like he's just thinking of girls he's been introduced to lately and going down the line calling), well that's not as nice nor flattering.

 

If there has been an introduction in person or a little bit of time spent enough to know that we can hold somewhat of a convo and there is some mutual interest (not just someone the guy took a fancy to, but he noticed I might be interested too)....cool.

 

It really sucks when men play the "numbers game" without pausing to look to see whether the woman is even receptive or not, even paying attention to the fact that it's a two way street. That's just my feelings tho, and not saying you are guilty of that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love directness. I think it's sexy and confident. The guy I was with before my current boyfriend was the best I've ever known. I had known him for two, maybe three days. He called me and literally said (I quote): "Hey. You're really cute. Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want to grab lunch and take a nap after?"

 

Of course I said yes. I mean, come on. How could you say no to THAT?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I love directness. I think it's sexy and confident. The guy I was with before my current boyfriend was the best I've ever known. I had known him for two, maybe three days. He called me and literally said (I quote): "Hey. You're really cute. Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want to grab lunch and take a nap after?"

 

Of course I said yes. I mean, come on. How could you say no to THAT?

 

 

Oh, I agree.. I do not say being the boldest guy out there is flattering, but it IS nice when a guy you are attracted to makes it know right AWAY rather than making you wait week after week, or even MONTHS that he is interested romantically in you!

 

After.. as the months go by, that is wasting your time and your life, really, we are not getting any younger, and you guys make such a issue out of wanting to date the youngest, prettiest girl you can!

 

Honestly, I would rather put the guy who makes me wait months in the friendzone right away and move on!

 

That is my take on it.... but if you don;t have enough cahoonas to ask a girl out you are interested in, in a couple of weeks, then maybe you do not need a gf.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

With the whole friend asking you out thing. Maybe they just wanted to be friends and fell in love with you (maybe not literally in "love" but you know what I mean) and when you became single decided to take the leap. I don't think it a guy would pretend to be your friend just to try to hook up with you when you break up with your bf. That is waaay too much work for me lol. Besides, its a hell of a lot easier for a girl to friend zone a guy than it is for a guy to friend zone a girl i think. I think any girl that i like and get along with is a potential girlfriend. why not? I'm sorry but I'm not a pimp playa with a thousand girlfriends and I can just be friends with any girl because I have a new gf every weekend. Why can't a friendship turn into a relationship? I would hope that my future wife would be my absolute best friend in the world ya know?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...