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How to: Install Love


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Tech Support: Hello … how can I help you?


Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install

Love. Can you guide me through the process?


Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?


Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?


Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you

located your Heart?


Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now.

Is it okay to install Love while they are running?


Tech Support: What programs are running ?


Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge

and Resentment running right now.


Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt

from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent

memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will

eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High

Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and

Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.

Can you turn those off ?


Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?


Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke

Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and

Resentment have been completely erased.


Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that



Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base

program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get

the upgrades.


Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error

- Program not run on external components.” What should I do?


Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set

up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In

non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before

you can Love others.


Customer: So, what should I do?


Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the

following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your



Customer: Okay, done.


Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The

system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty

programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all

directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely

gone and never comes back.


Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files.

Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying

themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?


Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but

eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed

and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure

to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in

turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.


Customer: Thank you, God.




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Haha, interesting.


When I was a kid I installed love on my Windows 3.0 PC. Really, I didn't plan on it; she just walked into my life and I couldn't take my cursor off of her. Even as I upgraded operating systems over the years the old files she'd created never could be lost from my folder tree. I never had the heart to overwrite what was stored in them, as old and eccentric as the data grew. I browsed a thousand girls in the formative years of my life, but none of them ever came bundled with love as an executable, so I never downloaded them for I never wanted to run anything other than the program I'd had installed for me oh so many years ago, on an operating system now years and years lost in the dust.


Today we're all running the systems of the era. Love is available in every spoken language, written to be compatible with every operating system, and there's enough users out there that every Ubuntu, OSX, GNU and Win2000 user can find someone for him or her to establish a connection with. Today I'm running several different systems, fluent in computers and software and somewhat tech-savy. Yet there's still something locked in the back of my most central kernel, a tiny piece of binary data that says that there is a C installed and running on my system. It hasn't been updated or modified and it's date created reads back over a decade into my past. Its not functioning properly anymore and is starting to have adverse effects on the well-being of my OS's functionality as I try to grow and progress in my life.


C has become a virus of my own will. A set of commands applied to my central hard drive to which there is no command line that can close them, toggle them, override, turn-off, or detach them. My entire operating system became devoted to this program and for all of my life since then incorporated it into its day-to-day functioning. The idea of eventual reunification and networking ultimately as adults seemed to be the central theme to the endless files this program generated. It was a constant source of inspiration, but also became a parasite as the need came more and more into adulthood for me to connect my PC to the relational dating circuit and twain with someone whom could ultimately become the interface for love on my PC. This old, outdated installation of love functionally blocked my PC from being able to prompt for a current, valid installation of the program, from another user to whom is actually still communicating and interacting in real-time. I can type and create spreadsheets and surf the net and program Java and make eNA posts concerning whatever I like. I can do anything I want with any aspect of the hardware of the system, add any peripherals, install as many other programs as my processor can take, but like heck if I can get love.exe out of my system tray. I'm so full of error messages and broken thread alerts and warning flashes and 'bad command or file name' insertions that I don't know how the heck I'm going to save this system any more. I mean, AVG and Knoppix and anti-rootkits aren't doing it for me and I'm at the point where everything is so unstable at times I feel like I'm running WindowsME.




Sorry, your little anecdote opened a floodgate for me and I just had to get it out to see how it looked on screen. Be careful what you let on your system.

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