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Is this jealous behavior? It's very strange to me.


RedWingsFan

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I dated a woman for 2 months. She ended it, citing that she was no longer "romantically interested." I told her I'd need space for me to be friends with her again...to which I still need more space. She went on vacation a few weeks after us ending and just came back.

 

On our intramural team, she is suddenly accepting the advances of a guy on our team she just met. He is actually a college buddy of mine, whom I've known for 4 years; he has no idea she and I dated. She doesn't know my past with him. What's odd is that neither of them are their types - physically, socially, and interest-wise.

 

While we were socializing, the guy was talking to her a lot. She was being responsive, but at the same time, I could tell she was really hoping I'd talk to her (I want my space still). I had an intramural team e-mail to send, and she responded to me with a smiley face, nothing else (was she just wanting a response - there was no need to send that). I noticed they've started to talk to each other on Facebook, too (and it's funny seeing someone ask, "what are your plans after the game?" because he didn't get her number...).

 

Question: Do some women really play this game? Since you won't talk to me, I am going to be interested (pretend or not) in another guy in your presence.

 

I am pretty much over her. I just find it interesting. Ladies - have you done this or have you seen it done? Should I take the high road and simply ask, "Is there anything you want to say to me? I kinda blew you off the other night."

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Yes, women do play these games I'm sorry to say. It doesn't mean that I'm one of them, but women will sometimes mess with guys to make them jealous, or simply put to just get attention.

 

Its possible that shes interested in that guy, BUT she also probably knows that its getting to you. I would advise you to act really chill around her, but don't go out of your way to "clear the air".

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I haven't shown any signs that her actions are getting to me...

 

However, I feel stupid for stooping to her level. My e-mail response was a frowny face with "Might not be able to make our playoff game. Have something planned with someone, and I'll have to ask her to reschedule."

 

This "mystery girl" IS someone I am interested in, too.

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I haven't shown any signs that her actions are getting to me...

 

However, I feel stupid for stooping to her level. My e-mail response was a frowny face with "Might not be able to make our playoff game. Have something planned with someone, and I'll have to ask her to reschedule."

 

This "mystery girl" IS someone I am interested in, too.

 

Nah, there isn't anything wrong with that. She sounds like she needs a lot of attention. How was she when you were both dating?

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Nah, there isn't anything wrong with that. She sounds like she needs a lot of attention. How was she when you were both dating?

 

I'll spare you the details, but, myself and my best female friend (who also knows her) have concluded that she is a girl who needs a man's attention.

 

Apparently, it's any man. I think she validates her happiness and self-worth with the attention, which is unfortunate.

 

I'll have to see how her actions pan out in the coming weeks. I am just curious to know if this behavior is actually common and if anybody has ideas about how to best handle myself. She's 28! This isn't middle school...

 

I will take your advice and not ask if she has anything to tell me.

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I'll spare you the details, but, myself and my best female friend (who also knows her) have concluded that she is a girl who needs a man's attention.

 

Apparently, it's any man. I think she validates her happiness and self-worth with the attention, which is unfortunate.

 

I'll have to see how her actions pan out in the coming weeks. I am just curious to know if this behavior is actually common and if anybody has ideas about how to best handle myself. She's 28! This isn't middle school...

 

I will take your advice and not ask if she has anything to tell me.

 

These type of girls feed off of drama and are looking for a guy to validate their sense of self-worth. Then again, you already answered your own question! And yeah, at 28 you would think she would be over that!

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I had a different opinion from IT after reading the OP. Now I don't want to offend you, but you kinda sound like you have a huge ego? How do you really know she's doing all this to get your attention? You said it yourself, she could actually like this guy. And it sounds like you two mentioned staying friends after your breakup, but you weren't ready. Maybe she just genuinely wants to be your friend and is being friendly to you while you take your time to yourself. What's wrong with that? Sounds better than her being rude to you while you take time away from a friendship with her.

 

That also leads me to comment on you assuming she strongly wanted to talk to you instead of really interacting with this guy...how do you know? It sounds like you could be seriously misreading this woman. She sounds polite and friendly and nothing more. I couldn't pick up any huge indicators that she's talking to this guy to get your attention. I honestly got that she just happens to truly like him.

 

If anybody is seriously obsessed in attention....maybe it is you? You seem to twist your interactions with her into something all about the attention you're getting and implying she's pathetic and attention seeking..... I still would need more proof to draw that kind of conclusion. Otherwise based on the info you've provided I think you're being a bit mean spirited about all this.

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Dude, I know it sucks but in your first line you said she told you that wasn't "romantically interested" in you. That's all you need to think about right now.

 

I know it's easy to get caught up in the whole "what does this mean?", "is she doing this because of this..." game (I was getting caught up in it recently) but it's pointless. Looking for answers doesn't change anything.

 

You say you're pretty much over her, but you're posting on here to find out what we think her intentions might be. Doesn't sound like you're over it fully yet. And that's fine. Nothing wrong with that, but I'd just keep backing away and not letting her get to you. It is what it is.

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