Is there a point to all this? Really?

[dragonflygirl]

I want to die

I hate my life. I mean if I can't make my life work now, why will it be any different a few years from now. There is no one I can talk to. I feel SO alone. I just don't see the point to living anymore. I want help. But no-one can help me until I help myself, right? Well I can't anymore. I'v been doing it all my life. I only hope that this life is just the beginning, that when I finally do kill myself there will be something better. Well hopefully I'l find out soon.

[Lisc949]

You are only 15... You have your whole life to look forward to. You have a lot of things to do, people to meet. Why would you want to end it now, when your life has barely just begun?

[guynextdoor]

Dragonfly its true nobody can really help you but yourself however we can help you by pointing you in the right direction. Care to explain whats the issue?

[Sunflour]

No one can help you until you reach out for help. But all you need to do is take that first step. Talk to a counselor, or an adult in your family that you trust. If they don't take your feelings seriously, talk to someone else.

 

You don't have to go through life feeling this way--there's help waiting for you, from people who want you to get better and have a happy life.

[dragonflygirl]

Thanx for replying. I didn't think anyone would. Its hard to explain i mean I can hardly understand how I feel. I feel detached from my life and everything in it. No one has ever even tried to help.

I tried reaching out to my mum when I had bulimia, she cried and told me that we would work it out together. That was the last thing she ever said on the subject. I went through that on my one. My parents divorced this year and no one has ever asked me how I felt, or if I was doing o.k. My mum said that as I knew it was for the best she just assumed I would be o.k. with it. The only person I have ever felt remotely close to, my brother, moved away to england this year. Again everyone expected me to not care. When I ever get sad my mum just tells me to cheer up. I can't anymore. I know it probably sounds like I'm just over reacting but I spend nearly everyday on my own. There is no one I can talk to. My mum wants me to go to my dads and my dad wants me to go to my mums. It doesn't matter to me, neither house feels like home.

Sorry if I wasted your time

[guynextdoor]

You are wasting nobodys time here at ena. Have you seek counseling? Maybe talk to a school counselor?

[LilyXX]

dragonflygirl, you she see a therapist or a councellor, the sooner the better.

You are going through a difficult situation right now and you need someone to help you. You are doing the right thing by asking for help.

[catfeeder]

You're not wasting our time, and my heart goes out to you. You may be assuming what each parent wants regarding you. They may both feel helpless and guilty, and they might think that the other could do a better job of helping you feel happier than they can.

 

Of course we all need to help ourselves, but that doesn't mean we can't reach for support in doing that. The key is to reach for it. If you don't know where to start, ask the school nurse for an appointment to speak with her privately. Then tell her how unsupported you feel and ask for a referral to a counselor.

 

The only thing that helped me through my teenage angst was a choice I made to not clamp down and insist that I must be miserable. In other words, I realized that I had decided to be unhappy at some point, and I was working too hard to defend that position instead of trying to change my habits of thinking. This allowed me to be more vulnerable and let some people know that I was willing to try to trust them.

 

I wasn't successful every single day, but everybody has bad days. I did notice that I could have a good day here and there when I challenged myself to try. I also made a game out of trying to be nice to at least one person every day.

 

Everybody hurts. We all just need to help one another through it. Even the meanest people you know are mean because someone was mean to them. That fact helped me to be more understanding and to stop thinking of myself as a freak. You're in excellent company--we all suffer in our own ways, and yet there is plenty of joy to have if you'll give yourself a break and give yourself permission to appreciate the smallest things.

 

We're always here.

 

In your corner.

[waveseer]

Sometimes when I have suicidal thoughts I can manage them on my own by making changes in my life. However, when I am really depressed (the cause is irrelevant) I MUST reach out for help because I am incapable of changing on my own. Please continue to reach out for help, you need it, you are worth it, you deserve it, and it will work if you do two things:

 

1. Never give up hope.

2. Never give in to the desire to die.

[dragonflygirl]

thanx everyone!

I will try and talk to my school counsellor.

It means a lot that you all care

Maybe someday we can all look back on this and be glad that we had the strength to pull through

I hope so

[sjgot1]

Hi dragonfly

 

It really sucks that nobody asked how you felt when your parents got divorced and that your brother moved away. I can relate to best friends mowing away or disappearing on me because this happened for more than half my school life. At the time my mum would say ‘you just have to get over it’ and this didn’t help at all.

 

Everybody has the right to have friends and to grow up in a safe and loving environment. Everybody has the right to have feelings, so if you feel sad, it’s very hard to just cheer up.

 

When I’ve felt depressed and put on a happy face, this made me feel worse. Now I be myself and this helps me feel better overall. If people ask how I’m doing when I feel depressed, I say I’ve had better times. If they ask more and I think I can trust them, I tell them more.

 

That’s where forums like this can help i.e. when you can’t find anyone else that understands what you’re going through.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Simon G (Melbourne Australia)

[dragonflygirl]

Its nice to have someone who understands.

Coming on this forum has really helped, because for a while I really have felt so alone but even knowing that there are other people out there who understands makes a big difference!!

N thanx sjgot1 ur post really helped

[ATLstudent]

Many people feel this way at your age, it can be a time of changes, doubts, fears, and embarassement. In life moments like this will come up, hopeless moments, that hurt really bad, the key, is to train your mind into one that turns to solutions....real solutions....and not suicide. Unfortunately in our society suicide is ingrained in the culture, and in much pop culture, it even get glamourized in certain contexts. Suicide is ugly, nasty, painful, and just a horrible reality that can hit people, there is no honor or empathy in suicide, you will not get anything positive from killing yourself. PLease Dont.......

Now if your like me these are only thoughts at the moment, and have yet to manifest in your life physically, the problem is the pattern of thought, and constant referral back to suicidal thoughts will increase them and it will get closer and closer to reality if your not careful and get procative in changing yourself on this level. Stop turning toward this, its hard but simple, before the hours of pondering it that lead you down and dark path, stop yourself. Just as the first idea pops in your head, make an effort to change your thoughts, before they snow ball. Start focusing on solutions or things that bring you out of it, amybe people that make you happy, just try it

[nobody16]

dragonfly.....i know how you feel in a way......I am 16...so...I am not far away at your age.....and atlstudent.....have you ever think that maybe some of us really have reasons to feel like that?

[B_Link]

I'm glad that people's commets have helped, but if talking to a school councilor or therapist doesn't work, don't give up. You seem like a very nice person and there are many people on this site (myself included) that would be happy to have you as one of our friends. Life can be a lot easier when there are people that truly care about you.

[smedleyamy]

Hi dear,

I want to say one important thing that never lose hope . You are not alone in this world , it might be problem that your parents are not with you but you can help both to come closer and make life happy to everyone related in the family. Don't feel alone in home , watch articles,magazines and feel good. Make friendship with others and hang out with your friends and family then look the change , compare your future with your past. You will notice the difference and your life become full of joy and beautiful. I want to convey a message be always happy and enjoy each and every seconds of life. Eat your life's ice-cream before it melts.Take care of yourself.