Jump to content

MissBee09

Recommended Posts

For the victims of cheating...

 

if you stayed with your SO do you find yourself questioning their fidelity at times?

 

I have been with my boyfriend for over 5 years and i found out 6 months ago that he cheated on me about 3 years ago during the time of our LDR. He wouldn't tell me much about what happened and I still have many questions i want to ask but i don't know how.

 

I don't know if its too late for me to raise these questions. I just can't stop thinking about it especially since we are about to experience a LDR again!

 

HELP!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know if its too late for me to raise these questions.

 

It's only too late if it's beyond the point where you could ever see yourself trusting him again. If it would be beneficial to your peace of mind and your relationship to ask him these questions, then by all means, do it!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No it's not too late unless you want to end the relationship for sure. By all means you can, it's a good valid reason. So I assume he never told you why he did it?? Has he actually given you a good reason to trust him again or made any amends to his terrible behavior?? Being sorry is not enough, there has to be a lot of work put on it coming from him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would definitely have trust issues knowing that he has cheated on me before in a LDR and will enter into one again. To me, it's not worth worrying over. Although I don't believe everyone falls into "once a cheater always a cheater", but if he got away with it the first time he may feel that he would get away with it a second, third, etc.

 

It's never too late to raise these questions because it's either he answers honestly (which would be hard to judge) or he takes the high road with the other woman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

From what I have read, the most successful couples who have survived infidelity have had full disclosure, discussed it as many times as need be, promised not to do it again and discussed the reason behind it (what they weren't getting in the relationship that caused them to look outside it).....

Are any of those things happening??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When my husband cheated he answered every question I had. I thought this would make things better but it didnt. He gave me a description of what the girl looked like, her name and even personality characteristics (All of which I asked for). Now everytime I see a girl who fits the description or who has similiar intersested I feel threatened and insecure. If I could go back I would have just left as I cheated, Im sorry and here is how I'll make it up. Thats just my opinion, you have to do what you feel is best for you, and he should respect you enough to give you that to prove his loyalty

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Believe it or not, what I learned from my experience is the less you know, the better. What happened happened. Nothing you can do will change that. Trust me, the more you know the more it will hurt.

 

That was the first thing they told me in marriage counseling and the truth is, I started healing as soon as I stopped learning the details.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Believe it or not, what I learned from my experience is the less you know, the better. What happened happened. Nothing you can do will change that. Trust me, the more you know the more it will hurt.

 

That was the first thing they told me in marriage counseling and the truth is, I started healing as soon as I stopped learning the details.

 

I would have to agree. Sadly I have seen pictures of the "other woman" of my ex, so seeing women who share similar characteristics, jobs, etc. makes me want to vomit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...