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My ex's mother wants to see me


Effervescent
Dream about your ex
Dream about your ex

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Hi all,

 

Something really strange just happened today. My ex’s mother e-mailed me. My ex and I were together for 3.5 years and she has never e-mailed me before. It’s been almost three months of NC since the breakup. She asked me how I was and asked if I would meet with her and her father (my ex’s grandpa) to chat. She says my ex’s grandpa would really like to see me before he leaves for China next month. She wants to give her father a one-day tour of my city before he leaves. (They live a two-hour drive away).

 

My ex’s mother’s side of the family has always loved me. They were very sorry about the breakup. They saw the change in my ex after he joined the cult and advised me to dump him. I don’t know what I should do. On the one hand, I do want to see his grandpa, because he’s really old and fragile. He may not make it past the end of this year. On the other, I’m not sure if I could hold my composure enough to speak with her. I don’t want to break down and cry in front of her and have it get back to my ex. However, I think it would be very rude to refuse. I haven't talked to her since April and I'm not sure what she wants to talk to me about. I'm not sure what I should do.

 

Although it's a little farfetched, it did cross my mind that my ex might be somehow involved. She definitely had to ask him to get my e-mail. As well, I just deleted all of his friends off of FB recently, so he has no way of keeping tabs on me. I highly doubt he would go through so much effort to spy on me, but it did cross my mind. What do you guys think?

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It's a bit weird, isn't it... I mean, if she didn't have your email to begin with.

 

If you haven't answered, I'd consider including her in the NC thing.

 

But on the other hand, if she understood and encouraged you to get out, perhaps it wouldn't harm - only you can know that. You could email her and say you think it would be a little too difficult for you right now, and that you send your love to Grandpa. You don't need to give any details, then nothing CAN get back to your Ex.

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As someone who had a very close relationship to the ex's mum throughout the break-up and for 5 months afterwards, I have to tell you to put your own feelings first here.

 

You might be best saying your goodbyes with a letter and then remain NC for the foreseeable. Otherwise, I promise you, you will have to go through the healing process all over again which is hell. Sheer hell. Look after yourself first xxx

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