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Arg, well kinda long story here, a lot has been going on since my last post here.

 

To re cap and fill you in quickly; I was going to wait around for A as long as we had the understanding that we could date others especially since I would have to wait four moths for him and we we were in the get to know each other again stage. If A would call and I was getting ready to go out or he asked what I did the other night he would get very quiet and you could hear a major change in his tone of voice, he was angry and jealous. I brought it up to him but he denied it. A eventually realized that he had put me up on a pedestal and I wasn't the sweet little girl he remembered. lol. He obviously didn't like that I have very strong opinions about things and will speak up now where in the past I was quieter. Eventually he decided that it wouldn't work out.

 

I dated one other guy briefly during this period and met a few other people. But kept avoiding S and his request to talk about the break up( I only wanted to talk as friends and it seemed he was hell bent on "fixing things") A few weeks later I gave in and we went out one night as friends and had a good talk. We went slowly but after talking to his friends, his sister and him I came to the conclusion that I would give him another chance. So a few months later he asked me to move in with him. We are now living together in his (now our) apartment, and we have a room mate as well one of S's best friends J.

 

So things were just fine for the first couple of weeks or so and then the honey moon is over and I find that this is now the situation;

He has a really hard time giving of himself and his time(since he has never (before me) been in a long term-not long-distance relationship) example: we are unemployed and going to college and so we are home a lot together, and he spends 90% of his time on the computer in our room. The rest of the time he reminds me of a teenage boy coming out of his dungeon only at meal times( yes I make "the boys" dinner usually and they clean ) to eat and watch tv, then go back into the bedroom. Occasionally he will go out with friends for lunch or we will go to friends for a bbq. He stays up until 2 to 3 am in the morning so we rarely go to bed together. If I go into the room to try and get a few minuets with him I get ignored, or he will say hi give me a peck and go back to what he was doing. If he is spending time with me(usually watching tv or sometimes just talking) and I ask the dreaded question that I know most men hate "whats on your mind or what are you thinking?" Its always computer stuff!!! I know most of you guys are now thinking thats what you get for asking but I wouldn't ask if he would talk to me! I'm trying to start a conversation here! Sometimes he will even answer a facebook post while I'm trying to talk to him or be reading FB or something else.

 

I feel ...like I'm being taken for granted! and not appreciated at all... I have talked to him several times now about all of this and the need to spend quality time together and how it would be nice if he is too busy for him to show me a little affection by giving me a kiss or hug more often or compliments. Our room mate even said something about how we are never spending time together, not to mention that he gives me more compliments than S does, things like thanks for dinner it was really good, or that I look nice. Little things like that make a big difference.

 

(WARNING: Explicit content below)

Affection is hard to get recently ( normally I get a couple pecks a day and maybe a hug)I am starting to feel like we are growing apart. I almost feel like we are FWB. When we are intimate theres rarely any foreplay and its usually all for him and quick...the last time we were intimate our room mate had left for the the evening and I was sure he wouldn't be home for several hours so I sit on S's lap and be the aggressor, and was hoping for maybe some touching and kissing and since we had time for it to be a little more leisurely and drawn out. Well there was a little lip to lip kissing,(not french he hasn't kissed me that was for awhile either) but he hasn't kissed me on the neck for months and there was no foreplay touching unless you count removing clothes and holding me in position...sorry if TMI here!!! But during and after I felt like I had just been taken advantage of. Like it was all for him...

 

I am really starting to get depressed here and my feelings for him are changing and I have no where to go....My main questions here are these valid issues? What can I do differently to make him see or change or does it sound like he isn't into me anymore? AM I over reacting and this is what I should get used to? I am just so frustrated and don't know what to do...I keep trying to make this work and he says when we have a conversation that he feels like he can't make me happy and that its hard for him to do the things I ask (like giving compliments and he doesn't ever follow through with quality time, we haven't been on a just us date in a few months) and yet he has time to go out with his buddies and go over there for gaming nights...any input is appreciated ...thanks

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I'm thinking really negatively right now...but, he doesn't even have the time to go on walks with me or take me to the park or go on a date with me( like he said we would go out to sushi or something 3 weeks ago and same with the park)...he even got snippy with me last weekend...I know he is stressed, but...I think he would say something about not having the money mostly. I'm trying really hard here but getting no where with him.

 

Maybe I should go to counselling...but I really can't afford it either, on unemployment myself...

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Now I'm really irked...he went to a friend of ours (that I trust, its a married couple) yesterday early afternoon for a guys game night(that I wasn't invited to at cause its a guy night) and its now 5pm and he is still over there barbecuing now...

 

Don't get me wrong I think its great that he has friends that he can do stuff with like that...

 

But if he has the time to go and do that and still be over there shouldn't he have the time to spend with me as well??? What the h***!!!

 

I would appreciate any takes on what people think is going on here and your perceptions on this, even if its to tell me that I'me being silly... PLEASE, I need input!!!

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