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Sorry, this is quite a long message, but any help would be greatly appreciated!! :)


RoadRage

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So I met this girl a couple of months ago. We had lunch together a couple of times. There was lots of eyecontact, laughter etc, which was very nice. Anyway, two weeks later we were both going on separate five or so week holidays, so i thought it'd be time that i strongly hinted (not said) that I liked her and that I like it if we could go out when we got back.

 

Anyway, so i sent her this email, and basically said I really enjoyed spending time with her and that I hoped we could perhaps try going out when we got back. She took a while to reply, and said that she'd thought quite a bit about it, but that she just wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and just didn't want a relationship like that. She seemed pretty sincere, but deep down I thought to myself she's just probably rejecting me in a nice way. So I was going to try and let it go... but then I found out she has never had a boyfriend before.... So I thought perhaps I should give it another shot when I have gotten to know her better? Perhaps asking her officially out after only have lunch a couple of times was a mistake?

 

Anyway, when she got back I sent her a nice email, saying I totally respected that she didn't want a relationship (which I do 100%) and that I'd still like it if we could be good friends (which I would)! And she said she'd like that too. So we had lunch again together, and it was exactly like before, there was no awkwardness at all - not in the slighest -but on the contrary, there was the same smiling and laughing, the same eyecontact etc... and we're meeting up again this week...

 

I know that that doesn't necessarily mean anything at all, and I know this is a long shot, and I don't plan to do anything for a quite a while.... but do you guys have any ideas about firstly 1) whether it's worth giving it (eventually) another shot, and if so 2) how I should go about doing it? I guess the first step is to get her to do something with me outside university (atm we're just having lunch there)... any ideas?? And how long should I give it?? I just hate pushing people and making people feel uncomfortable. I guess another good thing is that we have quite a few close friends in common, however we haven't yet hung out as a group... i guess that could be a start...... anyway, enough rambling by me!! any other suggestions? thanks!

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She has already given you an answer that she does not want a relationship. She's either not interested and sees you as a friend, or she doesn't want to be in a relationship period. You should not try pushing her and focus on the friend aspect. Instead of going for lunch, have you both looked into doing a different activity?

 

If she has the same feelings she will return it... but asking her again may be pressuring.

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here is your greatest tip.

girls wont admit to this. but when a guy chases the fun is over. keep seeing her. and then just keep yourself out there thou. i mean random kiss here and there just so you arnt excluded from the rest of the dating world. and she will eventually fall for u. just from seeing how happy and composed you are.

 

she now know u like her. let her show some clear signs back. touching etc.

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i mean random kiss here and there just so you arnt excluded from the rest of the dating world. and she will eventually fall for u. just from seeing how happy and composed you are.

 

she now know u like her. let her show some clear signs back. touching etc.

I'd be careful with this. Very careful.

 

Do you work with this girl? I am getting the impression you do. If you make her feel uncomfortable, especially inside a workplace, she can file for sexual harassment. She has already said no and creating an awkward environment will not go over smoothly.

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I'd be careful with this. Very careful.

 

Do you work with this girl? I am getting the impression you do. If you make her feel uncomfortable, especially inside a workplace, she can file for sexual harassment. She has already said no and creating an awkward environment will not go over smoothly.

 

no no, i go to uni with her... we're good friends, i wouldn't do anything to her that would make her even think of filing for sexual harassment!

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