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I'm scared because i've been thinking about it.


quietdepressed

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this is going to sound rude and arrogant but i am the lonliest person in the world right now and it wont ever get better. i know its easy to say for others that it will but it wont. i have nothing to offer anyone and just dont want to live anymore. i have every symptom of GAD(generalized anxiety disorder) and have done nothing about it, no money. i try to exercise everyday but it doesnt magically release endorfens and make someone desire you. after all this i cant because i fear what it will do to my family. i dont know it's going to happen eventually when i just decide to end it all.

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Well, as I see it, you've got three options

 

(1) Commit suicide, hurt your family, and permanently end any possible hope of a happy life. I certainly hope you won't choose this option, because objectively it doesn't seem to provide a good outcome for anyone.

 

(2) Remain as you are, continue to be in pain, but not causing great pain to your family and leaving open the possibility of something more in the future.

 

(3) Begin the process of change, as tough as it is. You say you have nothing to offer anyone; I doubt that's true, but assuming for a moment that it really is true, you can start by developing things to offer. Improve yourself to make yourself more desirable; if you commit to doing that every day, then in six months time you will have an incredible amount to offer, will surely find someone who wants to take what you now have to offer, and will be happy.

 

Option (3) seems to me to be the obvious choice. If the ceiling falls down, you fix it; you don't just stop using the room indefinitely, and you certainly don't respond by blowing up the entire building. Of course, in the short term they may be more fun, but in the longer term they will not get you what you want.

 

You CAN be happy, you just have to make a choice and dig really deep to find the strength to do what it takes to become so. I know you can do it.

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Hey, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but I am here to tell you that you are not a lost cause.

 

I was diagnosed with GAD back in January. I refuse to take meds for it, as I think they can cause more harm than good, and I'm stubborn about wanting to talk to a therapist about anything even though I know I should. So, like you, I don't really do anything to take care of it--or at least, I don't use the conventional methods. However, given what you have told us, it doesn't really sound like GAD, but you were vague so I am not going to rule it out. Here are some self-help tips, or at home/free tips, to help you with GAD or depression:

 

1.Write everything down that worries you or scares you. If that means opening up a private internet blog, do it. Or just go get a cheap spiral notebook and write in there. Writing out thoughts always helps. Even if it's just dialogue, things that you want to say to someone or things you wish you would have said. I do this and it helps.

 

2. Stimulate all of your senses:

* Vision – Take in a beautiful view. Go to an art museum. Walk around a pretty neighborhood. Look at treasured photos or an interesting picture book.

* Hearing – Listen to soothing music. Enjoy the sounds of nature: birds singing, ocean waves crashing on the beach, wind rustling through the trees.

* Smell – Light scented candles. Smell the flowers in a garden. Breathe in the clean, fresh air. Stop by a bakery. Spritz on your favorite perfume.

* Taste – Cook a delicious meal. Slowly eat a favorite treat, savoring each bite. Enjoy a hot cup of coffee or tea.

* Touch – Pet your dog or cat. Take a warm bubble bath. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket. Sit outside in the cool breeze. Get a massage.

 

3.Five ways to cope with anxiety spell AWARE:

A: Accept the anxiety. Welcome it. Don’t fight it. Replace your rejection, anger, and hatred of it with acceptance. By resisting, you’re prolonging the unpleasantness of it. Instead, flow with it. Don’t make it responsible for how you think, feel, and act.

 

W: Watch your anxiety. Look at it without judgment – not good, not bad. Rate it on a 0-to-10 scale and watch it go up and down. Be detached. Remember, you’re not your anxiety. The more you can separate yourself from the experience, the more you can just watch it.

 

A: Act with the anxiety. Act as if you aren’t anxious. Function with it. Slow down if you have to, but keep going. Breathe slowly and normally. If you run from the situation your anxiety will go down, but your fear will go up. If you stay, both your anxiety and your fear will go down.

 

R: Repeat the steps. Continue to accept your anxiety, watch it, and act with it until it goes down to a comfortable level. And it will. Just keep repeating these three steps: accept, watch, and act with it.

 

E: Expect the best. What you fear the most rarely happens. Recognize that a certain amount of anxiety is normal. By expecting future anxiety you’re putting yourself in a good position to accept it when it comes again.

 

4. And, of course, TALK TO US. We are FREE therapy! You are nameless and faceless here, so what you say is completely confidential. Spill your heart out. You may not even want advice. You may just need someone to listen, and we will do that for you. Just DO NOT hold it all inside. That is the biggest (well, second biggest in this case) mistake you can make right now.

 

You are not as hopeless as you think you are. Don't convince yourself that suicide is the cure. It will just hurt a lot of people. Happiness is a choice, so choose it and strive for it.

 

Best of luck! We're here if you need us.

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thanks for all the responses. i could never do it but it makes me sad that if all things were equal i'd rather have died by now. i worry all the time. it started when i was 17 about stupid things and continues to this day. even when i wasnt feeling pressured by society i would feel worried. i really need the worrying to go away so i can start to develop as a person because i'm not the only one experiencing this. i;ll try my best but at this point id say its a longshot.

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I was given some pretty good advice when I was suicidal. A counselor told me to completely disregard everything except what I wanted. I was to allow no outside judgements, pressures, expectations, or manipulations. I was supposed to figure out what I wanted and just do that. It was pretty good advice, because here I am 22 years later.

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thanks for all the responses. i could never do it but it makes me sad that if all things were equal i'd rather have died by now. i worry all the time. it started when i was 17 about stupid things and continues to this day. even when i wasnt feeling pressured by society i would feel worried. i really need the worrying to go away so i can start to develop as a person because i'm not the only one experiencing this. i;ll try my best but at this point id say its a longshot.

 

Yeah, the worrying can become mind-numbing and hard to handle at times. Maybe take up a hobby that is calming, like yoga. I know a lot of people that have benefited mentally from doing yoga.

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Hey- I wish you didnt feel this way. Heres a piece of advice....every night before you go to sleep,close your eyes and think nothing...just be 'quiet' in your head... If you hear yourself talk (in your mind) just be aware of it but dont pay attention to it..just let it pass...it may appear difficult to get it to quiet down, it is for everyone, but you'll see you'll atleast get a second or two of silence and that really does wonders....its sort of like meditation.

 

do this for 5 mins everyday. This helped me a lot! im sure it will for you too. Please atlesat try it. and we're here if you want to talk..

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Hi quiteD

 

I also have an anxiety condition which has caused me a lot of grief over many years but which I'm learning to control. I've also had experiences of feeling lonely. Here, both the anxiety and the lonliness 'really suck'.

 

It's not arrogant to feel that you are the lonliest person in the world. If that's how you feel then that's how it is for you. In the past I've had friends who've said "I know how you feel" when they don't. I've had people say "you shouldn't feel like this", as if there's universal rules about how one should feel.

 

As humans we all have the right to feel and to tell other people how we feel.

 

I hope this helps. The last thing I want to do is to tell you what to do or how to feel.

 

Simon G

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i understand how you feel. I feel similar. Brake away from everything and everyone and do what works for you. After all, its YOUR life. No one elses. Do what you want to do.. separate your feelings of how you feel internally and how you feel with the outside world.. Forget the influences of the outside world, and get your actual self the one in your head to a safe and happier place... Piece things together in your head as to what will make you happy.. and then you can start healing.

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