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I need a change in my life, pls help


Qut81

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Has anyone ever have a love that changed them? I do not feel the same after the breakup. I used to be happy go lucky, the one ppl come to for advice; calm, collected, level headed. Now I am just so opposite. I do not feel like myself anymore.

 

I am always sad and I dont think its all bc of my breakup. I feel at 27 (almost 28 I should be in a different place in my life. I feel I should have a family, finished with school, or at the very least a serious bf. I have nothing. Now that they changed my program at school and I have 2 more yrs left instead of 1, I feel completely lost and discouraged. I need some sort of change but I dont know what. I was thinking about moving home but I hate the cold and would be miserable. Plus, I have good friends here...its hard to find good friends. I just dont know what to do and if I could just figure out how to change my life for the better I know I would feel better. Please help me bc if I dont change something I fear I will never be the person I was before.

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We all go through stages like this. I was in a funk very similar that lasted about a year last year. Things will improve and you'll feel better. Just try and stay positive, focus on what you do have and go after what you think will make you happy.

 

I feel for you on this I really do. But just hang in there and good things will happen they always do.

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Yeah, life is not always what we expect nor does it turn out the way that we want all of the time. The key (for me at least) is to be as optimistic and happy as I can be, regardless of the situation. A lot of what you wrote sounds exactly like I did a year or two ago. I decided a few months ago to focus on the positive and it's not always easy, but it sort of works. I don't let myself get away with being lazy or procrastinating. I know that might not apply to you, but I feel like making myself do things that I don't specifically want to do, at the time, makes me feel better in the long run. Just little things like that, I guess, have helped me be happier overall.

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Hey, sorry you're feeling low. Have faith that things will pick up again.

 

I too went through a stage for about a year of feeling like everything in my life was bad, boring, pointless etc. I was the same age as you, it was after a breakup. I hated myself and felt wrong in my skin if that makes sense. I cried so often about nothing at all. I had to move back to my mum and dad's place, I felt like there was not light at the end of my tunnel.

 

Gradually things happened and opportunities arose, and I got back on my feet. Just keep good friends and family around while you ride it out. Look at the positives in little every day things.

 

As a quick pick me up, how about a makeover and a really fun weekend with friends, and perhaps take on a new hobby.

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I try to be positive, I really really do. However, I am a very realistic person. If something is bad I see it. I cant really explain this well in writing but Im too realistic so being positive is hard. Sometimes I force myself to be positive, pick myself up, give myself "pep talks", and then when Im alone I go back to thinking about everything thats wrong with me and how my life is never going to get anywhere. I grew up in a low income family so I have this serious fear I will never have money. So I am getting almost striaght As in school and trying to find some direction in my life.

 

Thanks free2bme, I did a major makeover when I broke up with my ex. I cut all my hair off and its extremely cute. That made me feel good for a while. I was looking for journalism/media networking groups in my area and came accross a volunteer opportunity to host fashion shows for benefits. I think this will be good for me. I modeled for 10 years and directed fashion shows for a while so I know I wont fail. I think that would be a good start. However, I am mostly focusing on my long term goals and life.

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I try to be positive, I really really do. However, I am a very realistic person. If something is bad I see it.

 

I say that I'm realistic also and there is nothing wrong with that. I think the key is seeing the situation as it is and deciding what to do with it. Do you want to make something better or do you want to wallow in it, you know?

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I say that I'm realistic also and there is nothing wrong with that. I think the key is seeing the situation as it is and deciding what to do with it. Do you want to make something better or do you want to wallow in it, you know?

 

Yea thats true.

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It's a slump...happens to the best of us...all of us. And I'm a happy-go-lucky girl too.

 

Sometimes it helps to put it on paper. What's good that's going and what you would like to happen. Something to focus on.

 

I know what you mean...I'm 31, and my good buddies...some are married having babies, getting married, moving into a house...all I got are my businesses, and a boyfriend who I wonder if we'll really get "there." Thing is...yeah, I'm jealous, but at the same time...there's a lot good going on for me. It's like this grass is the greener on the other side, magical "must abide by" time-line.

 

Everyone thought I'd be first to marry, babies, home...just didn't happen that way. That's okay.

 

In reality...the other grass is really just more grass, and the time-line is flat out different for everybody.

 

Now I can give you some upbeat suggestions...but really just gonna say this. Change starts with how you think about yourself. Keep in mind, it's okay to wallow a bit.

 

I just think there is a balance to everything in life...a reason for things...I think people are where they need to be at the time they need to be in it. One tough year followed by one that is amazing.

 

Hope this makes sense. Good things to come...also depends on if you want to look at things in a certain way too!

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definitely stick the school thing out. You might just meet someone there that sweeps you off your feet.

 

I agree with the others, you seem to be in a bit of a rut. We have to go through these bleak stages in life before we find the good, or the good finds us but it's coming.

 

Hang in there.

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Yes, I have changed from being with someone. There was a time when I was very depressed. I met this one guy during that time, and fell in love with him. I was really happy. He dumped me eventually.

 

I guess I could've gone back to being sad and depressed, but I decided I was too proud for that. How could I look at myself in the mirror knowing that I depended on other people for happiness? So I stayed happy and I've been happy since.

 

As for you OP, I think it would help if you first realize that you can control your life. Things won't change on their own. You have to work for it.

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Thank you Greywolf, you are absolutely right. All I need is a plan. I used to be really ambitious. I mean I worked two jobs and went to school. Ive always been the type that does what I need to in order to get what I want in life. I just feel lost now. If I just had a plan, I can at least have some direction.

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Thank you Greywolf, you are absolutely right. All I need is a plan. I used to be really ambitious. I mean I worked two jobs and went to school. Ive always been the type that does what I need to in order to get what I want in life. I just feel lost now. If I just had a plan, I can at least have some direction.

 

You will be fine dear! The plan will come to you.

Some day, when you least expect it, it will appear above your head like a light bulb.

Trust me!]

 

 

All my best!

x

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