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In love with friend and not sure what to do


bobbydigi

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I have been in love with my friend for about 2 years now and I am not sure what exactly I should do. I have known her for about 4 years during which we have been good friends and we have become a lot closer lately. She currently has a boyfriend of a couple years and before him I know we almost had sex a couple times. She said she is trying to break up with him but she is finding it hard because he really hasn't done anything wrong but she feels he isnt the right person for her. She called him a week ago and tried to break it off but i guess he ended up talking her out of it.

 

About a month or two ago I told her I had feelings for her one night but I didn't want to come in between her and her bf. She paused for about 5 seconds when i told her i knew she didn't think about me like that and said she thought i was a really good friend. I am not sure if i completely believe her on her response because of some of the things she does and has done in the past. Things such as holding my hand in the bar sometimes, sleeping in the same bed, talking constantly, getting close sometimes, and having resentment for anyone i have had sex with or trying to convince me to not have sex with people.

 

There was no awkwardness after me telling her and we still talk just about everyday even though she lives 2 hours away and remain great friends. When I told her i had feelings for her (i never admitted i was in love with her) it couldnt have come as a huge shock due to the fact that i told her friend about 3 months prior and her friend had told me she told her.

 

I thought it would make things easier by telling her and getting it over with but in fact it has actually made things worse. I thought i would be able to get over her after telling her but i have realized that my feelings are too strong to ever be over her with her in my life. I think about her constantly and can't get her out of my mind. I don't think i would wait around for her if the opportunity arose for me to be with someone else i truly liked but now i think it would be harder as i would most likely compare the new girl to my friend.

 

I am at a loss of what i should do about this. I have been thinking lately of telling her that i can't continue the friendship due to my feelings for her but I am not entirely sure if i can/should do it due to the fact i am such good friends with her and shes such a major part of my life. There is also the fact that she may break up with her bf soon and who knows what could happen then. On the other hand i am scarred to see her single as seeing her with someone new or even knowing about it would make me feel like * * * * . I also have suspicions that she might even have cheated on her bf at least once but i can't be positive about that.

 

I would appreciate any advice anyone has for me.

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You've told her and she didn't bite. The odds are low. Continue to be yourself as a friend and don't bring the subject up again. You've already did what you have to do now let it go. Be prepared for the worst if she doesn't feel the same friendship anymore. Give her room to accept you back as a friend.

 

Also, let's hope your suspicion is not true about here cheating. Not a good sign if it is so.

 

Best solution is that try dating other great women out there and keep a great friend's place where she belongs.

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well as i said we still remain good friends, there was no awkward part after i told her as we are such good friends. we still talk all the time and hang out. I have no problem dating someone else who comes along but my main problem is that i am having trouble just being friends with her. I know it sounds weird but i dont really care when she is with her bf but if she broke up with him and then started dating someone else i would become depressed, even knowing there is a great chance she doesn't have feelings for me more than a friend. its just hard because honestly i am in love with her.

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