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I HATE this feeling...


ksanija

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I have a great boyfriend, he told me he loved me on the weekend (after i had, so now i’m worried he may have felt trapped into saying it) –

 

I KNOW how he feels about me, and how much he cares for me. We have been together 6 ½ months...met each others family, friends, work colleagues, we spend alot of quality time alone also, he has invited me to his hometown for his friends wedding next month, as well as Christmas with his family. We’ve gone away on holiday together, we haven’t argued, fought in the last 3 ½ months (we had a little difference of opinion on Sunday nite, but talked it out and we’re back to normal)...

 

When we sleep, he holds me so tightly i have to pry his arms off of me, he kisses my back and the back of my neck while we are laying in bed. He’s so affectionate – whether we are driving, on the couch or out in public – he has to be ‘touching’...i get random kisses and hugs for no reason...(he gets this affection from me also)...

 

Early on in our relationship, he let me down a couple of times (just minor things like, ‘oh, we could do this on the weekend’, and i’d get excited about it, and it wouldn’t happen)...I’m VERY insecure and untrusting due to past relationships and that didn’t help me build trust in him...i just over think and over analyse EVERYTHING and i want it to stop!!

 

Like, he can get in touch with me first for 3 days straight, invite me over etc...but when i get in touch with him say on the 4th day, i can’t help thinking, that he’s going to think i’m clingy, or you know, ‘i wish she’d leave me alone’ – WHICH IS STUPID!!! Especially when i haven’t even instigated anything for the entire week. I second guess myself – if i do invite him over, i think to myself, ‘oh, what if he wants a boys nite, am i being too pushy, did he just say yes coz i he would’ve felt bad...I KNOW THESE THOUGHTS ARE LUDRICROUS! And he has told me, that if he thought i was clingy, he would tell me, if he thought we were spending too much together he would tell me!

 

I’m not negative at all when i’m with him, mostly because i don’t have these feelings when i am with him, his actions speak louder than words, and his words are REALLY loud!! But the moment i’m away from him, i don’t know, it’s going to sound silly, but i kind of think, like, ‘well, is he going to forget how ‘lovey dovey’ we were on the weekend, what if he forgets what he said to me last nite’...i hate being apart from him, coz these thoughts creep into my head.

 

I just wish i could get these thoughts out of my head!! I wish i could relax and enjoy the relationship with him as well as when i’m not!!

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Sweetie, there is nothing to worry about. Just remind yourself that he is with you for a reason. Just because two people are in a relationship, it doesn't imply that both of you don't have lives of your own. Absence does makes the heart grow fonder. Stop worrying so much about how you "think" he may feel, that you start forgetting all the good reasons that brought you both together in the first place. If he really felt that you were clingy and that he wants to hang with his friends, I'm sure he would tell you so. Relax and seize the moment!

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I'm like this too... I just take a step back for every two step forwards.. (subconciously..) because I don't want to smother my boyfriend, and when I start being clingy, he becomes clingy too, and I don't wanna be smothered either.

Just relax relax relax I know it's hard (i find it very hard! i'm always clingy!) but try to relax. Do some yoga, or exercise a few times a week. So good for your mind, body, and gets you busy

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