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Ethical dilema... crap


coldplay.

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So my friend (maybe best friends) sister really likes me. I have absolutely no interest in her for reasons i dont need to disclose.

 

Shes cool, i can hang out with her and what not. So we go out with some mutual friends tonight have a few drinks and we get talking about our jobs.

 

She works the same type of job as I, except she gets paid almost twice as much, does half the work and has perks(corporate dinners, vacations, paid leave, bonuses ect). So this was an interesting conversation, next she says she can get me in!

 

Now i can see this getting really F'd up quick if i dont have a handle on this. I really dont want to lead her on, and i really dont want her to be hurt in any way by this, i just dont see her as any more than a friend, especially since she is my best friends sister for gods sake. But then again im looking for a new job, this is close to my college, with flexible pay and benefits from the type of company that it is. So its like a dream job at the moment, but with the issue of this girl, not wanting to hurt her ect.

 

Any thoughts on this?

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Its actually tough because you probably know that the reason she offering all this stuff is because she's interested in something more, not a friendship. Still, dude, its a dream job. I'd take it. BUt, I'd also make things clear somehow that I was only interested in a friendship. I'd say, "I think you're really cool friend, but I do'nt see us working in a relationship," because you have to be honest with someone...it shows respect.

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Unless her attitude or language during the job talk implied that she thought this would mean you two were going to be getting together at some point, I'd say you sound pretty safe to me. Has she made advances on you or something? 'cause from what you've said here so far it just sounds like she's trying to hook a friend up with a job, nothing to worry about. I wouldn't even call attention to it unless you feel she thinks something else is implied with this opportunity. Calling her out on it, even if she does happen to have a crush on your or something, might just make it really awkward and make her rethink letting you enter her workplace if there's going to be something awkward between you. If she does have a crush on you and hasn't said anything, just let it be. Maybe she's just having fun having a crush and doesn't expect anything to come of it.

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Shes told my friend that she Really likes, me and its pretty darn obvious. We had a conversation a few days ago basically saying i didnt want to be in a relationship for a long time. But I really dont know if she got the point because its obvious she still likes me after we had hung out at the bar.

 

Its actually tough because you probably know that the reason she offering all this stuff is because she's interested in something more, not a friendship. Still, dude, its a dream job. I'd take it. BUt, I'd also make things clear somehow that I was only interested in a friendship. I'd say, "I think you're really cool friend, but I do'nt see us working in a relationship," because you have to be honest with someone...it shows respect.

 

Ya pretty much, now heres the weird part, that i know is shady, if i tell her this before i get the job... it could possibly fall through, after i get the job, all the sudden im a serious jerk. Neither of which i want to happen, especially since its one of my friends sisters.

 

But again i did tell her i wasnt looking, so if that wasnt clear enough then i suppose idk what to tell her.

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Its up to you. Telling her that you don't want to be in a relationship for a long time isn't really telling her the truth, though. Its a tough decision but you have to make it. Personally, out of respect, I'd tell her I just see her as a friend. She'd be the jerk if she screwed up the job for you, although, its not completely implausible (I'd probably do the same thing...if I knew a guy I liked wasn't into me, I'd be like, forget helping him with anything).

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