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Hi Everybody,

 

I'm new here, and I'm seeking some relationship advice.

 

My boyfriend and I were together for about 2 months, when he had to leave for 3 months. When he left I was totally falling in love with him and wanted nothing more than to be with him.

 

unfortunately, while he was gone, although I missed him terribly, I met another person who I have found I also have feelings for. I felt very guilty about this, so I broke up with my boyfriend. I thought it was very wrong of me to be having these thoughts while in a relationship.

 

The new guy and I have been dating casually, and now my old boyfriend has come back from his dig (he's an archeologist). As soon as I saw him I was right back where I started, falling madly in love with him.

 

Now I unintentionally have 2 guys on the go, and I don't know what to do. I need advice. I feel like I'm in 12th grade again.

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It's really difficult to answer that question. If you were falling in love with him, why leave him in the first place? But, it is what it is. So you meet someone new, began experiencing the same feelings and now you want to leave this guy and go back to your first boyfriend? What is it that you really want??

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Flip a coin. Just kidding.

 

There's really nothing more to say than to search deep in your heart and find out who you like/love more and who you want in your future. I assume you're in it for the long run correct? Then there's not much more to do than figure out which one you'd rather walk down the aisle with...

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I dont think there is anything wrong with dating more than one person if you are not sleeping with them or you have agreed to be exclusive. So saying this, I think you should ride it out until your feelings are clear. It takes a while to get to know someone. You may feel like you love guy #1 but then realize that guy #2 is better for you, even if the feelings arent so intense. I hope Im making sense.

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you don't stay committed to someone you are in love with and just meet someone else and break it off and date them, then when the other returns want to go back. i think you should drop it all with both guys and figure out what you really want and go for that. stop this jumping stuff.

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You missed him terribly but then you decided to see someone else?

You must not have missed him that much.

 

But yes you are very wrong for not being able to stick with him when he was only away for three months.

You dumped him, he will be hurt.

It will always be in the back of his memory if there is some chance you two get back together.

He will always wonder if you would leave him again if he has to go away for a few months.

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I dont think there is anything wrong with dating more than one person if you are not sleeping with them or you have agreed to be exclusive. So saying this, I think you should ride it out until your feelings are clear. It takes a while to get to know someone. You may feel like you love guy #1 but then realize that guy #2 is better for you, even if the feelings arent so intense. I hope Im making sense.

 

I agree with this. You should wait longer before making a commitment to someone you are dating so you can be sure. Save yourself from this back and forth in the future.

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Hi , Very interesting I posted about a similiar situation except I am one of the guys..

May I ask you if you had sex with the 2nd guy right away..and would you say that was a major reason why you had feelings for him and felt guilty? If you did not have sex would you feel as guilty?

 

I was in the same situation as your 2nd guy and the girl now is really feeling guilty..even though we did not have sex..she has pulled way back..will guilt really cause you to do that?

 

You may have a unique perspective on my situation feel free to read and comment. How do I build a relationship with her?

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And what can I do to reduce and guilt she is feeling? It seems as just the fact that she has to tell stories to him to cover up our friendly meetings causes her guilt and stress.

Is it true that bringing me into her "life" - his reality would relieve her stress? She has told him about me - as a friend. Should this help?

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It's really difficult to answer that question. If you were falling in love with him, why leave him in the first place? But, it is what it is. So you meet someone new, began experiencing the same feelings and now you want to leave this guy and go back to your first boyfriend? What is it that you really want??

I don't know what I really want. I am so confused....

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You can't get over the archeologist... Get back with him.. The new guy wasn't good enough for you to fall in love with..

You are absolutly right. In fact, guess what happened? Guy number 2 stole $560 from me. Needless to say I'm never speaking to him again... haha. i sure know how to pick em.

 

But now that that's over, i find myself thinking about what a lot of people have said, about how if i really loved him I wouldnt have fallen for another person.

 

Maybe I should just be single. I am so lost.

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You missed him terribly but then you decided to see someone else?

You must not have missed him that much.

 

But yes you are very wrong for not being able to stick with him when he was only away for three months.

You dumped him, he will be hurt.

It will always be in the back of his memory if there is some chance you two get back together.

He will always wonder if you would leave him again if he has to go away for a few months.

In my defense, he was gone for longer then I'd known him for. But i understand what you're saying.

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