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is this considered cheating?


gorsky

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this is a follow up on the thread "what should I do?"

forum/showthread.php?t=297486"

 

I managed to get a conversation from facebook with him talking to the female "friend" before going to visit her in Chicago. Would that be considered cheating?

 

S ( my boyfriend )

ah ok i see, well no prob, i was just wondering how to make you visit stuff and go in restaurants with them, not that it would have been a problem but rather it would have required management

 

C ( his Chicago friend )

July 14 at 8:43am

you will require management too you know.

 

S

July 14 at 8:46am

in which sense my dear?

 

C

July 14 at 9:01am

keeping your hormones down.

 

S

July 14 at 9:07am

yes i have been witness to your different relationships and you bad luck in them, i've also heard all the stories you told me during my trip in louisiana. You know, i've felt close to you only one time during that trip and that was when we were telling each other ghost stories on your couch and that you were resting your feet on my laps while i think i was massaging them. Anyhow, i do hope only the best for you and you know i will still be waitng for the day, someday, to finally treasure your kiss...

 

S

July 14 at 4:28pm

not that i want to hurry you or make you do a fast decision but i need to know if it ok that i come on thursday until saturday, so that i can reserve now?

 

C

July 14 at 6:57pm

sorry..my computer net connection when to hell and I couldn't re-log. Thursday should be fine. You may be stuck going out with me on dollar beer night though.

 

S

July 14 at 10:51pm

so this is it and official:

 

 

AIR CANADA

AC 0515

 

 

 

Departing At

07:20am

Terminal

Not Available

 

 

 

Arriving At

08:34am

Terminal

TERMINAL 2

 

i will be there thursday morning, so i just will need to find the shuttle to downtown train station and that will be it, i ll see you there, funny how it happened so fast. anyway, as per thursday beer fest, i guess i will have to follow and have fun hurray for us!

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well, he went and came back. when he went he told me the girl had a husband, when he came back he told me that she is going trough a divorce, that he only found out there. he stayed at her place. she has a room-mate and 2 kids.

he told me after a night of drinking he saw her ff, and he even spent a night at the ff's apt hearing them going at it...i don't know how believable all this is, but

in my mind I'm asking myself: is he staying with me just because he cannot be with her?

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Oh wow he's a jerk. I am so sorry that you have to go through this.

Of course that's cheating. Although I did remember one guy once telling me that he still hit on girls even though he was married because he wanted to feel like he could still get them if he wanted to, like, he wanted to feel desirable.

 

I think you need to leave this guy. Really. Focus on your baby.

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It's impossible to tell if this is cheating unless we know your boyfriend, his personality and her personality as well. Has he told you that he is going to see her? Do they have a flirty personality and poke jokes at each other in a joking romantic way? Was he comfortable with you seeing these messages? If the answer is yes to these questions then it's not cheating at all. The only thing that would suggest cheating is the part about kissing her but again without knowing your boyfriend it's impossible to tell if this comment was made out of humor or in seriousness. Aside from that tiny part about the kiss it simply seems like a friendship conversation to me.

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Uh, maybe it's just me, but I see her flirting AT him, and him ignoring it. He's not instigating anything or responding to anything saucy she's saying. And he let some girl rest her feet on his lap on a soft on a business trip talking about ghost stories.

 

I'll get the guillotine myself.

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Uh, maybe it's just me, but I see her flirting AT him, and him ignoring it. He's not instigating anything or responding to anything saucy she's saying. And he let some girl rest her feet on his lap on a soft on a business trip talking about ghost stories.

 

I'll get the guillotine myself.

 

He said the words "Treasure your kiss", that's pretty blunt.

 

S

July 14 at 9:07am

yes i have been witness to your different relationships and you bad luck in them, i've also heard all the stories you told me during my trip in louisiana. You know, i've felt close to you only one time during that trip and that was when we were telling each other ghost stories on your couch and that you were resting your feet on my laps while i think i was massaging them. Anyhow, i do hope only the best for you and you know i will still be waitng for the day, someday, to finally treasure your kiss...

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