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male sex drive weakening


joesmith
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I'm glad I found this forum because I can definitely not talk to people I know about this. I just turned 33...about a year and a half ago I had my mother move in, as she is getting older and is not married, no other siblings to take care of her, etc. This has really affected my dating life as my mother is pretty religious and the idea of knocking the boots with her sleeping down the hallway is just not happening...so bringing women to my house is not an option anymore. I've always been a homefield type of guy...it's just at home, I'm prepared for work the next day, don't have to be driving around in the middle of the night, yada yada. I like my own bed, ya know? So, needless to say, my dating life has decreased in the past year. With that, my sex drive seems to have, as well. I used to be in the mood every day...now maybe once or twice a week. I know there's pills for this type of thing, but I really don't want to become reliant on those and at the same time I'm now viewing dating as a hassle. I'm a bit worried too because when I'm at a bar talking to a lady, I don't have the extra stimulant of being aroused to pursue her and am finding myself passing up on opportunities. I'm also fearing that maybe a 'performance issue' might pop up (or should I say not pop up) even if I did sleep out. I haven't had this happen yet as I'm smart enough not to put myself in the situation if I'm mentally not in the game. I can't tell mom to go, cuz I'm Italian, and families number one. I don't even know if this has anything to do with her. Is this a natural phase in your early thirties or something? or perhaps I'm just stressed out..dunno..any ideas??? Thanks in advance...

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Sounds like you are stressed out with your mom coming in the picture again. I can understand how the sex drive going down the crapper knowing your mom is in the same house as you. Plus how to tell a date that your mom lives with you? How is she going to react? Tough one man. Good luck, hopefully whoever you date is understanding.

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Yep, it sounds like it's more of a psychological thing as opposed to something physical going on with your body. The "Mom is Home" thing is creating a mental block for you, and it creeps into the back of your mind as you are chatting with a girl at the bar. I'm sure it's an arousal killer.

 

I think the best thing to do is try to become open to sexual situations outside of your home while dating (i.e. her place). Furthermore, is there any relative who is able to take your mom "off your hands" for a few nights per month?

 

I think many women won't react too negatively when they hear your situation -- this is much different from you living in your parents' basement because you don't want to venture out. Taking in a sick/old family member into your place because options are limited is understandable, not to mention admirable. I'm sure some will still be turned off by it, but it's not similar to a "I'm still living at home" scenario.

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cuz I'm Italian, and families number one.

 

that sort of made me laugh (at 3am). family is always number one!

 

anyways, have you changed your eating habits since your mom moved in? that could be the factor. also it could be a psychological thing. if you were alone, you are free to have sex/masturbate/etc..., but having your mom around kind of restricts your mind to doing those things, so your body compensates by not producing as much hormones or something

 

i experienced this when i had a room mate in college. only once a week i would think about sex, then when i left the dorms and went back home, I was thinking about sex every other hour.

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well i think its the mum thing and her being around would certaimly tie a knot in your drive for a while.

 

when i was in limbo for a while i was staying at my brothers, i met this lady who lets say is more than assertive when it comes to sex etc, she got drunk one evening and i went to pick her up, she came back and met my brother and his wife. and all i can say is that the whole duration of us being there that evening she kept grabbing my penis and asking for sex.

 

my brother and his wife saw this and told me to get upstairs and sort her out.

 

i have never ever ever been so embarrassed in all my life. suffice to say i did and i did not enjoy it one bit! she did! we both went downstairs and i couldnt look at them in the face, i was so embarassed! and yes i did lose my sex drive for a while because of that. its just one of those things i suppose.

 

you are not alone mate! perfectly normal. tell you what, i admire your respect for your family, if you didnt respect them it wouldnt bother you at all! and maybe thats the real reason why you have lost your drive. god man your italian, your passion for love is overwhelming, it will come back!!!

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I think the best thing to do is try to become open to sexual situations outside of your home while dating (i.e. her place). Furthermore, is there any relative who is able to take your mom "off your hands" for a few nights per month?

HaHAHA...I'm glad you asked....she doesn't leave the house EVER. I've tried to arrange this, but she won't go. And on top of that, before I go out at night, she hits me up with the old "please, call me if it gets late."...like I'm 16 again. And then if it does get late..she starts calling my cell and if I don't pick up the phone, I'll have a gazillion 'urgent' messages accumulated in like twenty minutes. How are you supposed to concentrate on other things??? I have to think someone maybe breaking into the house or something...

if you were alone, you are free to have sex/masturbate/etc..., but having your mom around kind of restricts your mind to doing those things, so your body compensates by not producing as much hormones or something

Yea, you're right it makes sense. The more I think about this, maybe i am going to have to experiment with enhancement drugs or something because there's really nothing else I can do. Can you get like V****a (oh god ](*,) don't want to say it) in the mail without using your real name, lol? Or how about ecstasy..that's a lot hipper right? Does it work for this?

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your comments. To be honest, when I started to write this thread was the first time I even considered having mom at home is what is messing me up and just threw it in to see if anyone agreed. But yea, now it's becoming obvious.

And if there are any teens reading that are 'only' children with a single parent....make an investment in your future..TRUST ME...do whatever it takes to GET THAT PARENT MARRIED while you're young...put them in personal ads..send them to church events..whatever..you want to avoid them moving back in for as long as possible!!!

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